User blog:Azelfland/Asphalt stories: the Rimac Concept S recruitment

yep. i finally did it, everyone. i took down that R&D with no problem. despite the fact that it took me 3 tries to take down the final AI, i'm so satisfied with beating this R&D and getting the Concept S. now i can finally focus on the 2018 McLaren X2.

this is episode 7 of season 8 of "Asphalt stores". here goes:

Corporate lab 4

lab technician: welcome to lab 4, where we focus on the early 90s/2000s esoterica. we're glad you beat Hunter Eighties back there. otherwise, we wouldn't be relevant.:P

My Rimac Concept S: well, thanks.:)

lab technician: this one is simple. once again, you'll have to win the race.:)

Me: sounds good.:)

the next day, on Azure Coast

2018 McLaren X2: so, how's the R&D going?:)

Hanna: we're getting closer to getting the Concept S.^_^

My McLaren MP4-31: man, i remember Azure Coast. when we took it down that night, you guys went on a date, didn't you?:)

Me: yep.:P

Blaze: excuse me?:I

Hanna: oh, it's kind of like a tradition of our own. after taking down a tour that has Azure Coast in it, we go to the funfair for fun.^_^

Roger: cool. can we come too?^_^

McLaren MP4-31: sure thing. after we beat the tour, of course.:)

after the Grand Finale

2018 McLaren X2: nice! we killed it!^_^

Me: so, um................... do you want to go to the funfair?:3

Hanna: sure. but what about the later tests?:I

Me: no worries. i still have the ability to create illusions of me, remember?:)

Hanna: that's clever.:O

Me: but for now, let's take care of those tests.:P

after test 43

lab technician: i hope you'll dismantle the Ollie Nineties AI. i never liked him. and i'm definitely rooting for you.^_^

Metal Azelfland: somehow, this test will be easy. L-O-L.:P

at test 44

Ollie Nineties: so, you're the guy that took down Hunter Eighties, huh?:I

Me: yep.:P

Ollie Nineties: just because you're the future doesn't mean i'll be bested.>:I

Me: oh, really? well, guess what?:P

Ollie Nineties: what?:I

Me: chillin' in da corridor. your dad is 44.:P

Ollie Nineties: whatever.-_-

Me: oh, yeah. Hunter Eighties sends his regards.:)

Ollie Nineties: thanks. now let's race.>:I

after test 44

Me: HAHAHA! YES!!>:D

Ollie Nineties: well, you really are the real deal. good luck with Jiggy 2000. and send my regards to him.:) *the AI gets deleted*

later that night (7:00 PM)

Hanna: *flirts with Azelfland and Roger* hey there, boys.>:3

Blaze: *also flirts with the boys* like what you see?>:3

Roger: *sees the girls in their dresses* DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG, you're really hot!:D

Hanna and Blaze: *giggle*

Blaze: why, thank you.:3

Me: so, shall we?:3

Hanna: okay. let's go.:3

at the funfair

Hanna: oh, god. these guys again?>:(

My Lamborghini Sesto Elemento: they never learn, do they?:I

Me: here we go again. *speaks Spanish* hey. excuso me, jose. yo soy el Azelflando. and i want that grass. comprende?:) (translation: hey. excuse me, man. my name is Azelfland. and i want that grass. understood?) *Azelfland and Hanna laugh*

Vagos gang member: eh, f@#k you, cabron.>:(

Hanna: what?:I

Me: now that wasn't nice. *tries again* coughio up el weedo, before i blow your brains out all over the patio.>:( (translation: cough up the weed, before i blow your brains out all over the floor.)

Vagos gang member: chinga a tu mandre, pendejo.>:) (translation: f@#l your mother, asshole.) *the Vagos gang members walk away*

Hanna: man, let me get the heater on this.>:(

Me: you know what, screw this.>:(

Hanna: get him, Azelfland.>:)

Me (sneaking up on the Vagos gang member): yeah, yeah. you're gonna get it now. *zaps the Vagos gang members to death* yeah. you messed with Azelfland! *kicks their ashes* remember that name.>:)

Hanna: now we can have fun without worrying about those guys.^_^

on test 49

lab technician: we're almost done updating Jiggy 2000. "Stunt" on 'em in this test and your path will be made clear. okay?:)

Me: you got it.^_^

after test 49

lab technician: this is it! the final battle! the outdated AI mascot Jiggy 2000 versus the future............ YOU! Jiggy 2000 is the best, but you got this.:)

McLaren P1 boy: you can do it, bud. we all believe in you.:)

on test 50

Jiggy 2000: well, if it ain't the guy that trounced Ollie Nineties.:P

Me: yeah. so what? i'll trounce you too.>:)

Jiggy 2000: oh, reallly? you may be the future mascot of Corporate, but i've been their undefeated mascot for 18 years.>:)

Me: you won't be saying that for long.>:I

Jiggy 2000: and my guess is that Ollie sends his regards, right? well, thanks.:P

Rimac Concept S: how did he know?:I

Me: no idea.:I

Jiggy 2000: anyway. prepare to get served, loser!>:)

Me: we'll see about that!>:(

Rimac Concept S: calculating the power levels of the AI................ *calcualtes the AI* calculations complete. starting analysis............... *analyzes the AI* analysis complete. the AI has been positively identified. the AI's racing power level is over 9000. the AI is ranked as level 3A. retreiving biographical data...............>:I

Me: cancel data. chances of winning?>:I

Rimac Concept S: chances are that there's a 30% chance we'll win this. HOWEVER, if we take the turns better than the AI, the chances will go up to 75%.>:I

Me: it doesn't matter. let's do this.>:)

on the final turn (attempt 3)

Me: okay. let's not mess this up.>:I *takes the turn quite well*

Rimac Concept S: he's catching up.O_O

Me: not if i can help it!>:I *uses the triple nitro*

Rimac Concept S: *finishes in first and does celebratory donuts*

Me: YEEEEEEEEESSSS!! SUCK IT!! I DON'T CARE IF I SPENT ANY TOKENS! MMMMMMMMM! SO WORTH IT! TAKE THAT VIVENDI! YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON ME!!>:D *does the Crash Bandicoot victory dance*

Jiggy 2000: no.............. NO NO NO NO!!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!! I NEVER LOSE!! NEVER!!!D:

Rimac Concept S: looks like YOU'RE the one who got served, bitch!>:)

Jiggy 2000: I WON'T ACCEPT THIS!! I'LL BEAT YOU SOMEDAY!! YOU HEAR ME?!>:(

Me: no, you're not.:P

Jiggy 2000: I WAS PERFECT!! HOW DID YOU BEAT ME?! YOU MUST'VE CHEATED!!>:(

Rimac Concept S: you had one weakness all along. you couldn't take the turns well.>:)

Me: and now, you're deleted. forever.>:)

Jiggy 2000: someday, YOU'LL be the one who'll get outdated!! YOU'LL GET YOURS!!!>:( *the AI gets deleted*

Hanna: that was awesome!^_^

Me: yeah, it was. and frustrating as well.:P

Big Smoke (in the distance): ALL WE HAD TO DO WAS FOLLOW THE DAMN TRAIN, CJ!>:(

Me: and beating the AI was just as frustrating as hearing this line over and over. but you know what? i'm not even mad. for once, we get an R&D that doesn't want to kill us.^_^

lab technician: well, a promise is a promise. since you beat Jiggy 2000, the Concept S is all yours. enjoy.^_^

Me: thanks.:)

lab technician: and now, our photographer should be here by now.:)

Corporate's photographer: you're Azelfland, right? i heard from Corporate that you beat all of their AIs. nice work, kid.^_^

Me: thanks.:)

Corporate's photographer: well, it's time to take a photo of you and that Rimac Concept S of yours. and you'll be known as Azelfland 2010 to us, because you represent the early and late 2010s era.:)

Me: you know.............. i don't actually deserve all the glory. in fact, my team also deserves it.:)

Corporate's photographer: okay.:I

Me: Hanna, Mario, Luigi, Sonic, Shadow Azelfland, Silver Azelfland, P1 boy and Alice also deserve to be in this picture with me and the Concept S. we all worked together to get here.:)

Corporate's photographer: R8 tyke and TF2014 as well, i presume.:)

Me: yes. okay, everyone. let's do it.^_^

Corporate's photographer: okay. here we go. *takes the picture* perfect! now we'll be able to sell all kinds of stuff. plushies, hairspray, anything we can.^_^

Hanna: it's been nice working with you.:)

Corporate's photographer: well, i gotta go now. see you on the billboards and on our products.:)

Silver Azelfland: well, what can i say? you did well.^_^

Mario: there's something that's off, though.:I

Luigi: what?:I

McLaren P1 boy: *sees the villains of the VVS trying to sneak away* GOTCHA, BITCH!>:D

Vincent: ah, s@#t! he figured it out!>:(

My Bentley EXP10 Speed 6: we knew you were behind this all along.>:)

Sonic: you hacked into Corporate's computers to make every single AI extremely difficult. however, we came prepared.>:)

Shadow Azelfland: with the 14 electric engines we had and the engines we got in the entire R&D, we were able to tune the Concept S the way it is now.>:)

Alice: as if that wasn't enough, you had the nerve to put token-only upgrades on it. but that didn't work either, 'cause we were smart enough to spend them on the token-only upgrades.>:)

Me: with only 3 attempts, i was able to beat the final AI and it got deleted forever.>:)

Dr. Eggman: and we would've gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids and your annoying blue hedgehog!>:(

Audi R8 tyke: says "Baldy McNosehair", who can't even beat that "annoying blue hedgehog".:P

the crowd (from the SIKE! that's the wrong number! video): OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!:D

Cynthia: also, suck on this.>:) *gives the villains of the VVS the middle finger*

Vincent: WHY YOU LITTLE...................... NO ONE EVEN LIKES YOUR MUFFINS!!>:(

Cynthia: you wanna make me cry again, don't you? not this time!>:(

Mike458: DAMN IT! i thought we had her!>:(

Bowser: tch. you girls are nothing more than damsels in distress i can kidnap.>:P

MICROAGRESSION! HIT HIM!>:D

Mike458: NOT THIS AGAIN!O_O

McLaren P1 boy: yes this again!>:)

Silver Azelfland: *bumps his fists and uses the Electric Fly on Bowser* GIMMEMYMONEYYYYYYYYYYYY!! *uses it again* JOHNYSTARTTHECAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!! *and again* GOTTASUCKMYNUTS!! *and again* BRINGALLTHESAUUUUUUCE!!D:<

Diana: that's what you get for calling us damsels in distress!>:(

Shelby: you know what happens to those who dare call us damsels in distress, right?!>:(

Boswer: um............. they get a slap to the face?:I

Shelby: worse. WE KICK THEM IN THE BALLS!>:( *kicks Boswer right in the nuts*

Boswer: *screaming goat*

Dr. Eggman: WHY YOU. L-

Wendy: not today.>:( *kicks Dr. Eggman right in the nuts*

Dr. Eggman: *screaming goat*

Mike458: guess i'll have t- *Loraine kicks him right in the nuts* AUGH! oh, my English tea bags!X_X

Vincent: don't even th- *Cynthia kicks him right in the nuts* AUGH! oh, my English tea bags!X_X

Heihachi Mishima: cowards. i'll take them down.>:I *points his 9-milimetre pistol at Azelfland*

Master Chief John-117: *shoots the pistol out of Heihachi's hand with his Default AR*

Heihachi Mishima: not again!>:(

Flora: time to send you meanies flying!>:( *uses her psychic powers to send all the villains of the VVS flying*

Mike458: we can't believe this.X_X

Vincent: i can still feel that nut shot.X_X

Boswer: that was so much pain to bear with.X_X

Dr. Eggman: our master will be so angry with us.X_X

all the villains of the VVS: TEAM VIVENDI IS BLASTING OFF AGAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!X_X *ting*

Chica: serves you right, jerks!>:(

TheHawtDawg1: so, um................... what do we do now?:I

Tails: i say we go to Iceland for now.:I

Sonic: sounds good.:P

Master Chief John-117: i'll shoot any Vivendi goons that get in our way.

McLaren P1 boy: i'll help you.>:I

meanwhile, in Vivendi's sixth base in Colorado, USA

Azelfland.exe: *slams his hand on the table 7 times* NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN! YOU IDIOTS LET AZELFLAND GET THE CONCEPT S!!!>:(

Anais: we didn't know he came prepared.O_O

Azelfland.exe: QUIET! YOU FOOLS FAILED ME AGAIN!! NOT ONLY DID YOU LET AZELFLAND GET THE CONCEPT S, BUT YOU ALSO GOT KICKED IN THE NUTS LIKE PATHETIC FOOLS!>:(

Vincent: ow..........X_X

AHGT.exe: no matter. they're still not gonna get the 2018 McLaren X2. their efforts will be futile.>:)

Azelfland.exe: that, i will give you.:P

AHGT.exe: anyway. Adrian Heat will take care of the rest.>:I

Bowser: then we get to thrash those losers at last.>:D

all villains in the VVS: AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!>:D

and that ends episode 7 of season 8 of "Asphalt stories". hopefully i can get the 2018 McLaren X2 with no problem. also, i get to farm without having to worry about wasting keys every 3 hours.

until next time.

-Azelfland.