User blog:Audi R8 tyke/Asphalt Stories S2: BP car assembly and Vencer Sarthe Knuckles

So the Vencer event is here, and I got rid of 118 Blueprints in the last 72 hours, in exchange for 2 cars-the 570S and the Peugeot SR1. Without further ado, let's get straight into this crap. (P.S. it would be better if you have some Doritos)

At the day before yesterday (Technically, after last episode and before this)...

Me: Oh, I got a message? Let's see. (Reads message) Hello R8 tyke, I'm Alice. Please come and fetch the Alpine Celebration.

My DeZir: My brother is here?

My Clio RS 200: (In a French accent) GOOD!

Me: Let's get the Alpine started! =D

At Azefland's base...

Alice: So you're here. =D

Me: Yeah, and where's the Alpine?

Alice: Right over there. (Points to my Alpine at the parking spot)

Me: OK, LET'S FIRE THIS THING UP! >=D (Presses the "Start/Stop Button)

(The Alpine Celebration revs)

My Alpine Celebration: Where...am I? I remembered that I was stripped in a cold, dark place.

My DeZir: Brother, we saved you and assembled you! =D

Me: It's been a long time, Alpine.

My Alpine Celebration: R8 TYKE? YOU ASSEMBLED ME?

Me: WELL, technically no, but just to let you know you're here.

My DeZir: That's a great thing to see right 'ere...

Jake: R8 TYKE!

Me: Jake? How you doin' bro?

Jake: Doin' well. Anyways, can I come to your garage with Zoe?

Me: OF COURSE YES! =D

3 minutes later...

Jake: IS THIS YOUR GARAGE? ?_?

Me: Erm... TEMPORARY. The last one I own was blown up by Vivendi.

Zoe: Can you show us around?

Me: Sure. Now, on the left side is my workshop, where I tune cars, and that spacious area is my garage.

(All 3 of us walked into the workshop)

Jake: WHAT ARE DOING TO YOUR R8? YOU STRIPPED HIM! O_O

Me: Calm down, bro, I'm swapping the Audi Space frame to a carbon fibred one. Besides, I am buffing his V10 so that he can keep up with other cars. -_-

Zoe: These pistons you're using are not supplied from Asphalt. -_-

Me: They're from CSR Racing. Besides, I've done more than just fitting more upgrades to strengthen cars.

Jake: LIKE WHAT? ?_?

Me: I swapped a 458 Speciale engine into my 458, and once I stuffed 3 turbos into my Supra. However, that went pretty horrible, so I enlarged the turbos of my Supra instead of adding the 3rd one.

Zoe and Jake: (In sync) COOL. =O

Me: Besides, one week ago, all my McLarens are treated in the same way this R8 did. So I guess I can show you guys around my garage.

Zoe and Jake: (In sync) GOOD! =D

(In my garage)

Me: So I guess I need to introduce you the cars. The cars in the right side are all McLarens. AND before you ask, NO. I didn't fully MAX PRO my 675LT.

My MP4-31: So these two are your friends, right? =)

Me: Right. AND TRY NOT TO TRIGGER THEM. They may look and does things like a British gentlemen, but if you triggered them, the wave of swear words are UNSTOPPABLE.

Jake: What's this RX8 doing?

My RX8: Hey dude, I got NICE STUFF for you. Wanna see it? =D

Jake: Umm... SURE? ?_?

(My RX8 played a clip of ...you guessed it.)

Me: (Pauses the scene and breaks the 4th wall) THIS IS THE EXCERPT OF AZEFLAND'S W12 RECRUITMENT AND IT'S SUPER NSFW. VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED! O_O (Resumes the action)

In the clip...

Loraine (on the censored background): COME ON, SMASH ME! SMASH ME, I SAID! IS THAT ALL YOU GOT, BITCH?! >=D

Sliver Azelfland (on the censored background): yeah! call me bitch! =D

Loraine (on the censored background): I JUST DID, YOU DIRTY LITTLE BITCH! >=D

(Jake paused the clip)

Jake: OH MY GOD... HOW... DID... (Passes out)

Me: OMG... WHAT HAVE I SEEN? THAT CAN'T BE UNSEEN! O_O (Passes out also)

12 seconds later...

Me: (Wakes up) HOW DID YOU FILM THIS! Don't you know that filming others making love is an offence? >=(

My RX8: WHATEVER. I'm going to share this to Danny and the Supra anyways. BESIDES, I'M NOT SELLING IT! =D

Zoe: WAIT. Who's Danny? ?_?

Me: (Face-palms)

Me: My NSX. One day I decided to name my NSX "Danny" and he liked the name.

Jake: (Wakes up) So this RX8 is so perverted, right?

Me: True. -_-

Danny the NSX: So I have a question-where is the SR1 and the 570S' blueprints?

Me: They're supposed to be in the storage! You can't see them?

Danny the NSX: No. -_-

(After 5 minutes of searching the storage...)

Me: I found a note! It says: Meet me at Havana. Also, bring the McLarens there. BESIDES, I got a flyer about the Vencer Sarthe event. Interested? =D

Jake: OF COURSE! =D

Me: So I'll go to Havana and you two will wait at the Championship site, which is at French Guiana.

At Havana, Cuba...

Me: Weird, there seems no one at this drag strip...

(Suddenly, sinster laughs)

My 12C Spider: STOP HIDING, THIEF! >=|

(A ghost-like character appears)

Me: WHO ARE YOU? >=|

My 675LT: AND WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US?

Character: Well, well, well. If it isn't Azefland's c*nt.

Me: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A C*NT, F*CKTARD? >=(

Character: Me? F*CKTARD? NO! I'm the ENTITY 303 FROM MINECRAFT, BITCH!

My P1: WHO ON EARTH IS ENTITY 303?

Me: A Minecraft CreepyPasta legend. 10 times more terrifying than Herobrine.

Entity 303: So R8 tyke, I got your 570S and your SR1, but they seemed like they're off their rockers...

My MP4-31: 570S! TALK TO ME!

My 675LT: BRO, YOU CAN'T HELP THIS DEVIL!

My 570S: AREA RESTRICTED. ALL NOOB INTRUDERS 2 B HAXORED BY US L33T BP CAR BROZ.!

My SR1: WE R TEH VIVENDI ALLIES. WE ROXOR U AND THEN ROFL. THEN U AM CRY! WE RECEIVE ORDERS THRU ANTENNAS ON THESE L33T HELMETS! THEY R HOTNESS. WE MUST OBEY ALL ORDERS. WE LIKE 2 PWN NOOBS 4 TEH MASTER VIVENDSORZ. U=NOOBZ. BP CAR BROZ.=L33T. PREPARE 4 TOTAL PWNAGE. WOOT WOOT WOOT WOOT!

My P1: DAMN... HOW COULD YOU, F*CKTARD 303! >=(

Entity 303: Now, you're gonna race me in this drag strip with me in MY cars and you in your sh*tboxes. I win, you get the cars, BUT I WIN, I'LL KILL YOU.

Me: BRING IT ON, BITCH! >B)

After my sucessful wins...

Entity 303: Hmm... so the King of CSR Racing isn't fake.

My P1: FREE MY BROTHER NOW! D=<

Entity 303: TOO SOON, JUNIOR! >=D

Me: You'll get your nuts whacked! (Whacks Entity 303's nuts nwith my enchanted diamond sword)

Entity 303: (Screams in pain) OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWCCCHHHH! MY AMERICAN TEABAGS! X_X

Suddenly, the helmets broke.

My 570S: *comes to her senses* Whoa. the helmet on my head... it's broken! OH, MAN, YEEEESS!! =D

My Peugeot SR1: *also comes to his senses* Hey, mine broke too. Talk about lucky. I mean, didja HEAR what was coming out of my mouth?O_O

My 570S: I know, dude. Seriously. Who talks like that?! Anyway, I think these guys freed us.^_^

My Peugeot SR1: You think? You guys trashed our helmets? =)

Me: Well, those helmets didn't fit. I guess Entity 303 used some wizardry to force them onto you guys, but NOT NOW! =D

My SR1: Thank you for saving us!

My 570S: BUT this is the last of us...

(Both cars disintegrates into their parts)

Me: QUICK! GRAB THE PARTS AND BPS! >=|

(After an insane fight for BPs)

Me: (Holding 54 of my 570S' BP and 63 of my SR1's BP and parts) Still don't give up after your nuts got whacked. >=)

Entity 303: (Holding the remaining parts) NEVER! >=( (Leaves the scene using a portal)

Me: Hey, I got this. (Holds the remaining BP and part of the 570S)

My P1: So he dropped it, huh? (Unlocks the BP with 19,400 credits)

My 675LT: THEN GO AND ASSEMBLE MY BROTHER!

Back at Azefland's garage, in 9:30 PM...

Me: ALICE, I NEED YOUR HELP! I GOT A 570S TO ASSEMBLE!

Alice: Right away. =)

Azefland: BUT You got a problem. Since you got school, you can see your 570S 20 hours later. =|

Me: I'll wait! >=|

Yesterday, after school...

Me: AUGH. School is killing me. X_X

My P1: THE 570S IS DONE!

Me: OH YEAH! I'LL FIRE IT UP! (Jumps into the 570S and turns it on)

(My 570S revs)

My 570S: Where.. am I? I remembered I exploded last time.

Me: 570S! I got you!

My 570S: WHERE IS MY WIFE?

My P1: Your wife is? ?_?

My 570S: The SR1. WHERE'S SHE? I'M GOING TO GET HER!

My MP4-31: The entity who mind-controlled you had took your wife's parts.

My 570S: DAMMIT!

Me: ANYWAYS, let's go to French Guiana to mee the rest of us.

At the championship site...

My Vencer Sarthe: So I heard from your girl and your hedgehodge friend that you'll come. So nice to meet you. I'm the Vencer Sarthe. ^_^

My 570S: YOU? SH*T CAR WITH NO USE WHATSOEVER. I think that we can ditch the Sparta after recruiting you, but my dreams didn't come true... -_-

My Vencer Sarthe: WHAT DID YOU SAY?! >=(

Me: WHOA, DUDES. Calm down. The Sarthe isn't not taht useful. NOW, LET'S BEGIN!

(After 2 sucessful time trials with the Sarthe)

Zoe: R8 tyke, you get the Grand Finale.

Me: Good, let's race!

At the Grand Finale...

Me: MIKE458? I THOUGHT I BEAT THE SH*T OUTTA YOU.

Mike458: I'm going to get revenge on you! That nut pinch is terrible! Besides, I'll tear up the BPs if you lost.>=)

Me: YOU GOT THE PEUGEOT BP?

Mike458: Yes. >=)

(After the Grand Finale)

My Sarthe: WE WON! =D

Me: Now, W*nker458, gimme the Peugeot BPs.

Mike458: WHO DO YOU THINK IS A W*NKER! I'M NOT GIVING YOU THE BLUEPRINTS! (Locks the BPs into a safe)

Me: OH YEAH? >=) (Unlocks the safe with 115 tokens and 19,400 credits)

Mike458: Uh-oh. O_O

My Sarthe: YOU PROMISE-BREAKING SH*THOLE! (Knocks Mike458 away) D=<

Mike458: TEAM VIVENDI IS BLASTING OFF AGAIIIIIIIIIN! X_X *ting*

Zoe: You got the SR1 BPs?

Me: Yeah, and I'm gonna assemble it.

My 570S: THANK YOU, R8 TYKE! =D

NOW THIS IS THE END OF THIS EPISODE! I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY IT! CYA NEXT BLOG POST! =D