User blog:Azelfland/Asphalt stories: the MV Agusta F4 1000 R recruitment and the end of the TweakRacer arc

the TweakRacer arc has finally come to an end. and that's it, really.

this is episode 7 of season 10 of "Asphalt stories". here goes:

Manchester, Engalnd

Azelfland.exe: so, you finally came.>:I

Me: yep.:I

Vincent: all right. we'll have to clarify one thing. you have our wife. hand her over to us.>:I

TraceG11: HELL NO!>:(

Vincent: WHAT?!>:(

Me: the way i see it, it's ALL on you! you hired TweakRacer to eliminate me. then, you had the nerve to burn TF2014's old garage down for no reason!>:(

Cyril: THEN your little "friend" used my indentity to his advantage, after you sent him as a double agent! AND he broke Wanda's heart after we got the Sbarro GT1!>:(

McLaren P1 boy: after i went crazy, i worked for you for the same reason. but after i regained my sanity, i failed you on purpose, because it was the right thing for me to do. i would NEVER work for a crazy idiot like you!>:(

Vincent: YOU WHAT?!>:(

Kazuya Mishima: not to mention you tried to kill my little friend after a bunch of misdeeds TweakRacer did. even after getting the cars, Azelfland still had trouble.>:I

TheHawtDawg1: not to mention you had the nerve to put Azelfland's garage into lockdown for no reason!>:(

Mike458: actually, it wasn't us.:I

Everyone: HUH?!O_O

Mike458: it was TweakRacer all along. and now that he has a zombie army of his own, he'll try to take over the world.>:I

Me: SON OF A BITCH! I SHOULD'VE KNOWN!!>:(

Bowser: now, listen. how on earth are we going to take over the world if everyone is a mindless zombie?:I

Me: good point.:I

Azelfland.exe: we'll make a truce. for now. but once all this is over, we'll get back to trying to kill each other.>:I

Me: deal.>:I

a week later

Shadow Azelfland: what's the MV Agusta F4 1000 R doing here?:I

Metal Azelfland: well, it looks like we need to use 2.400 of our tokens for this one.>:I

Me: i dunno. i guess we might not need it.:I

Heihachi Mishima: don't be such a wimp.-_-

Me: fine.-_- *throws 2.400 tokens to the MV Agusta F4 1000 R*

My MV Agusta F4 1000 R: GUYS, DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!! IT'S A TRAP!!O_O

Everyone: huh?:I

TweakRacer: surprise, motherf***er!>:) *opens a portal to the rejection dimesion and drags everyone into it*

in the rejection dimension

Silver Azelfland: what's happening?! why are we walking on the portal itself?!O_O

TweakRacer: welcome to the rejection dimension!>:)

Bowser: is this some kind of fancy word for friendzone?:I

TweakRacer: no. just like my entire existence, this place is full of nothingness..... devoid of any life and companionship.>:I

Me: i don't understand. why are we here?!O_O

TweakRacer: *reveals Azelfland's friends as zombies* since everyone is here, IT'S TIME TO HAVE MY OWN ASPHALTLAND!>:D

Dr. Eggman: WHAT?!O_O

TweakRacer: if Gameloft can't improve AsphaltLand, THEN I'LL MAKE MY OWN!>:(

Me: man, you're being an asshole right now.-_-

TweakRacer: but it's not y-

Me: actually, i already got that MV Agusta F4 1000 R. and if you were to send me to the Rimac Concept S R&D, that wouldn't happen, because i already have it.:P

TweakRacer: DAMN IT!>:(

in an illusion

Me: huh? Hanna? what are you doing here?:I

Hanna?: isn't it obvious, Azelfland! I'M HERE TO FINISH YOU!>:(

Me: do i really have to fight this imposter? i know you re-created her, but this one is in poor taste.>:I

TweakRacer: oh, don't get all huffy now. besides, if this Hanna is a copy, then where is the REAL Hanna?:P

Me: where she always is! right, Hanna? .................... um, Hanna?:I

Hanna?: TIME TO DIE, AZELFLAND!>:(

Me: oh no! PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THIS IS THE REAL HANNA!O_O *zaps Hanna?*

Psuedo Hanna: *reveals her true form; a purple fur with a distorted face* YOU'RE FINISHED!

Me: WHAT-WHAT-WHAT?! well, i'm glad i decided to attack!O_O

TweakRacer: heh. this will be fun.>:)

Me: *zaps Pusedo Hanna to death* YOU BIG FAKE!>:(

Psuedo Hanna: at least i'm beautiful. *turns to smoke*

back in the real world

Me: phew. i knew it was an illusion. TWEAKRACEEEEEEER!>:(

TweakRacer:  HUH?! you're STILL alive?>:( *Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance - It Has To Be This Way plays on the background

Me: i once said that my powers were a tool of justice. not used in anger. not used in vengeance. but now............... now i'm not so sure. and besides, these. aren't. the powers i used to know.>:I

TweakRacer: come on!>:)

Me: okay................................ let's dance.>:)

Both: ..........................................>:I

Me: koi.>:I (translation: come on.)

Everyone: *beats the crap out of the zombie army in their own way*

Me: *uses his psychic to brainshock Hanna*

Hanna: UGH!!!X_X *turns back to normal*

Me: are you okay?>:I

Hanna: yeah. i guess.:I

Me: TheHedgehogOne and Alice are also here. oh, and Knux and Cynthia are in a bit of a bind.:I

Hanna: no worries. i got this.:P

Silver Azelfland: it looks like Azelfland figured it out. we need to brainshock our girls.>:I

Metal Azelfland: do that with Loraine.>:I

Silver Azelfland: on it.>:I *brainshocks Loraine*

Loraine: WHAT THE-?!X_X *turns back to normal*

Metal Azelfland: *brainshocks Metal Hanna*

Metal Hanna: UGH!!X_X *turns back to normal as well*

Loraine: what happened?:I

Metal Azelfland: no time to explain.>:I

The Halo Squad: *joins in*

Master Chief John-117: GO GO GO!

McLaren P1 boy: SUCK MY MUSHROOM *followed by rapid gunfire* TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP, YOU, F***ING SON OF A BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!>:(

Audi R8 tyke: don't forget about me!>:I *shoots as many zombies as possible*

Shadow Azelfland: i guess i'll try brainshocking Shelby. if this will bring her to her senses.>:I *brainshocks Shelby*

Shelby: OW!!!X_X *turns back to normal*

Shadow Azelfland: there. you're good now.:3

Shelby: thanks.:3

Cynthia: try taking down the zombies! there's gotta be a way to turn our friends back to normal.>:I

Hanna: it must be his staff that controls them.>:I

Me: everyone, cover me. i'm going in.>:I *charges towards TweakRacer*

TweakRacer: WHAT THE-?! YOU'RE COMING AFTER ME?!O_O *tries to zap Azelfland with his staff, but Azelfland dodges every shot while running to him*

Me (in slow motion): *jumps and kicks TweakRacer's staff off his right hand*

TweakRacer (in slow motion): OH NO!O_O

the staff breaks upon impact with the ground

TweakRacer: *loses his zombie army power* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!D:

Rouge: *turns back to normal* what happened?:I

Nick: we're back to normal!:D

Mario: oh, my head.X_X

Luigi: I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!:D

Wanda: we're back to normal!:D

Diana: finally. i was tired of being a zombie.-_-

TweakRacer: NOOOOOOOOOOO! MY ZOMBIE ARMY!D:

Flora: are we back? what happened?:I

Chica: i'm sure that's what happened?:I

Cyril: ugh, already? just five more minutes.X_X

TweakRacer: grrrr.......>:(

everyone is happy that they reunited.

Me: it's over, TweakRacer.>:I

TweakRacer: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!>:(

Audi R8 tyke: looks like it's time to kick someone's ass!>:(

TweakRacer: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! FINE! FORGET GAMELOFT! I'LL JUST FINISH YOU ALL MYSELF! *pulls out a boombox* TweakRacer style!>:( * plays A Hat in Time-Picture Perfect B-Side Remix by Plasma3Music, which in turn plays on the background*

Everyone: *charges towards TweakRacer and vice versa*

TweakRacer versus everyone. begin.

TweakRacer: what's up, losers?! it's me, TweakRacer! what? new opponents? HA! a lot easier! you can't stop my powers! i'll snap you like a twig! i'll be dancing on your grave to this groovy dance jig! you need the force of a million batallions, but the best you have is a dumbass Grecian! think you can beat me?! rejection is perfection! drop the protection! give in to the infection!>:D

Audi R8 tyke: your obsession for rejection must be a weird complexion. the only power you have is making guys lose erections. here's my tip. go and cry to NukeStario. we'd all agree that'd be the best scenario. don't want to be rash, but your backstory's trash! having a tantrum, 'cause you want Gameloft to fear your wrath? HAVE A SIT DOWN, BRO! it's time to go to class. 'cause we're about to school your black lanky ass!>:)

Me: when will you ever come to your senses? you're a weakling disguised with demonic hexes. hold on, folks! things are getting tighter! you don't even qualify as a damn echo fighter! you just sound like noise pollution! getting rid of you is the only solution. come on now. your image is being defiled. you're like Gameloft's accidental child!>:P

TweakRacer: oh, now my mercy has just departed! now this is where things get REALLY started! you can't beat the power of my hypnosis! COME ON, CYRIL! give them their diagnosis!>:D

Cyril (being hypnotised): oh crap, bois! Cyril is here! and Sakurai-daddy just made him S-Tier! hold your pingas, 'cause it'll be pulled when it lays its eyes on the magnificent Cyril!>:D

Persephone: *kicks Cyril to the face to dehypnotise him* TweakRaceeeeeer. your tyranny is at its eeeeend!>:I

Sean: you're soooooooooo meeeeeeaan!>:I

Cynthia; you know, fighting's kinda lame. why don't we all just play some games? heh heh.^_^

Audi R8 tyke: your half-baked rhymes are clearly evident. 'cause you're based on a meme too irrelevant. your ass is getting wrecked in a state of permanence. looks like you're gonna have to end your turbulance.>:I

TweakRacer: and in the red corner with an infinite weight, here's a fat idiot who can't even look straight! the only thing you can do is hump a noodle bowl! just stay being useless, while I take control!>:)

Me: *kicks TweakRacer in mid-air* listening to you is like a new form of torture. i liked it better when you were just a launcher. perfect epitome of the word "miserable". the annoyance you bring is definitely considerable.>:P

TweakRacer: YOU IMPOTENT FOOL! YOU THINK YOU'RE SO COOL?! YOUR WIKI INFLUENCE IS SUPER MINISCULE! YOU'RE JUST A TOOL! MINDLESS AS YOU DROOL! GO BACK TO YOUR BLOG PAGE THEY CALL A CESSPOOL!>:(

Audi R8 tyke: TweakRacer! time to bring this to a close! listen closely! 'cause this is how it goes! now, whenever your ugly face is rejected, your power seems to be greatly affected.:I

Me: there has to be one person left that likes you. sounds crazy, right? BUT IT HAS TO BE TRUE!>:I

TweakRacer: WHAT?! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!! WHY DO YOU PERSIST?! SUCH A TWIST SURELY CAN'T EXIST!!O_O

NukeStar: *comes from above* TweeeeeakRaceeeeeer! i'm here to say i'm sooooooooorry. i should treat you betteeeeer. and i'll neeeeeeeeever rejeeeeeeeect youuuuuuuu.:D

Everyone: ..........................................................................................O_O

NukeStar: *falls from the rope and faceplants*

TweakRacer: *turns back to normal* huh?! Nuke?!O_O

NukeStar: argh........... you idiot............ you know i'm not good at those. even if you're an a-hole, you're still my friend and i still care about you............. or something like that.:I

TweakRacer: *gives in to the power of rejection* NO! *turns back into his Panda form* IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT!>:(

NukeStar: i knew you'd say that. so, i went on a journey.:I

TweakRacer: hm?:I

NukeStar: yes. i traversed the deepest oceans, explored the wildest valleys and space, just to find............ A THERAPIST FOR US!:D

Everyone: *applauses*

TweakRacer: WHAT?! WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?!>:(

NukeStar: Tweak, meet doctor Anais, our therapist.:)

Anais: sup?:P

TweakRacer: HUH?! Anais?! why are you helping them?!O_O

Anais: because................ *inhales* THE VVS, MY HUSBAND AND I ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE EVIL ONES HERE, NOT YOU!>:(

TweakRacer: but.............. you're not even a therapist.:I

Anais: actually, before i became a writer and before Vincent and i went all crazy and evil, i got myself a psychiatrist degree.^_^ *shows her psychiatrist degree*

Luigi: wow. Azelfland, where's YOUR degree?:I

Me: heh! an intellectual like me has the best kind of degree. a degree in memes!:D *shows a poorly drawn meme degree*

Luigi: ooooooh.........:(

Anais: *puts on her glasses* okay. let's do this thing.>:I *turns off the lights and leaves a spotlight on TweakRacer*

TweakRacer: huh?! what the-?!O_O

Anais: so, Tweak. tell me how you feel.:)

TweakRacer: INSOLENCE! YOU WILL BOW DOWN TO ME!>:(

Anais: i see a lot of repressed emotions and pent up rage. Nuke, is there something you want to say to Tweak?:)

NukeStar: TweakRacer...... my friend................ somewhere, deep down in my heart.......:(

TweakRacer: ......................:(

NukeStar: .......i still love you.:')

TweakRacer (getting emotional): *turns back to normal* NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW!:'D

Both: *hug it out*

Persephone: awwwww.:3

Wanda: ech!>:(

Sean: yeah! we did it!^_^

Bowser (in Michael Rosen's voice): noice.:)

Luigi (crying): i'm not crying. YOU'RE crying.;_;

Cyril: ARE YOU SERIOUS?! IS THIS HOW WE END THE ARC?!>:(

Emily: hooray! yippee!^_^

Heihachi Mishima: borrring.-_-

Me: well, i'm glad everything turned out okay.:)

Audi R8 tyke: now what? almost the entire world was destroyed.:I

Cynthia: um............... do you guys want to play games?^_^

Everyone: HECK YEAH!:D

Vincent: well, you did great.:)

Anais: i had to do what i had to do.:I

Azelfland.exe: starting tommorow, we'll get back to making these fools suffer.>:I

Vincent: agreed.:P

Azelfland.exe: but now, i'm hungry. do you guys want to go for some pizza?:)

Vincent: sure.:)

Anais: sounds good to me.:P

and that ends episode 7 of season 10 of "Asphalt stories" and the new update rolled, so there will be more.

until next time.

-Azelfland.