User blog:McLarenP1 Boy/Asphalt Stories: More Hoonigan Troubles

This episode depicts the following:
 * 1) Me revealing to Fred-104 that Horizon Britain is not happy with the new cars introduced in Series 7, as three of the new cars are RTR Mustangs.
 * 2) Me revealing that I have begun a permanent boycott of Hoonigan, Formula Drift, and RTR as a result.
 * 3) The disposal of the 7 FD cars that were previously in my Horizon Britain garage.
 * 4) Me and Fred-104 regrouping with John-117 and Linda-058 to destroy a VVS port that was illegally shipping the Hoonigans and drift cars to Horizon Britain and AsphaltLand.
 * 5) Yasha from Rumble Roses making a cameo appearance while the VVS members fight themselves once again.
 * 6) Fred receiving a message from Joel Carter (one of the guys who works at the Horizon Festival in the UK) that my last Hoonigan (a Hoonigan RS200) has been successfully sold at the Horizon UK Auction House.

{at my garage in Horizon Britain}

Fred-104: "They brought back the McLaren X2's Championship. Bad news for those who want to do it, the VVS has imposed a stricter resource requirement on them. Good news, we won't have to worry about that car as we have one on our side, since you got it in the first place anyway."

Me: "Isn't March the month of disappointment though?"

Fred: "I would guess so. But Chief's birthday was a few days ago, March 7."

Me: "I know. But look at this." (shows Fred pictures of what's coming to Horizon Britain in March)

Fred: "That does not look good at all. What is it?"

Me: "Three RTR Mustangs. And they all look and feel the same aside from the paint jobs. These drift cars are really being forced onto the Horizon Britain population, and so far, they're not happy with it at all." (shows Fred pictures of riots)

Fred: "Even in Horizon Britain, there are riots?" (his faceplate dims slightly)

Me: "Unfortunately, yes. But they aren't as bad as what AsphaltLand has in terms of riot violence."

Fred: "Are you gonna boycott everything that's Hoonigan, Formula Drift, or RTR?"

Me: "Definitely yes. This will send the guys at Turn 10 a strong message: Horizon Britain is fed up with drift cars and Hoonigan trash being shoved down everyone's throats."

{at an abandoned junkyard north of Edinburgh, with several Hoonigans and Formula Drift cars ready to be destroyed by me, Fred, and Linda}

Me (message): "R8 tyke, if you can see this, Horizon Britain is actually up in arms right now. You wanna know why? There are three RTR Mustangs coming to Horizon Britain, but a lot of people are not welcoming these Mustangs in open arms. In fact, they are very hostile towards them because they are tired of having these Hoonigans and drift cars being shoved down their throats. So now, I have begun my permanent boycott of Hoonigan, Formula Drift, and RTR."

Audi R8 tyke (message): "Oh my. The VVS might be behind this. After all, K.A.R.R. did summon a horde of Hoonigans as his enforcers, and it's likely they are going around sending these RTR Mustangs to Horizon Britain."

Me (message): "I've had that sneaking suspicion too that the VVS must be blocking off shipments of highly requested exotic cars headed for Horizon Britain, and at the same time, they're shipping in these cloned Hoonigans, FD cars, and now these RTR Mustangs. How can we stop this?"

Audi R8 tyke (message): "From the intel that Chief gave me, the VVS likely has a port at Ringkobing, Denmark. You and your Spartan buddies should go there, destroy that port, and leave no trace of VVS behind there. You gotta be careful, though. They have lots of RTR Mustangs and Hoonigans ready to attack, so disable them on sight. The Chief will send you and your friends the firepower you need."

Me (message): "Alright. Sounds good."

Fred: "You want these FD cars gone?"

Me: "Yeah. After all, I am boycotting everything that's Hoonigan, Formula Drift, and RTR." (shoots the #232 Nissan 240 and #777 Nissan 240 with an M41 SSR MAV/AW Rocket Launcher)

Fred: "That's two. Five more to go. You want me to handle the rest?"

(I nod in agreement)

Fred: "I'll take that as a 'yes'." (destroys the #13 Ford Mustang and #98 BMW 325i with an M57 PAW Rocket Launcher)

Me: "Three more to go." (fires the M41 SSR MAV/AW at the #118 Nissan 240, obliterating it)

(Fred then destroys the #43 Dodge Viper and #530 HSV Maloo with the M57 PAW)

Me: "Good riddance. Finally freed of these FD cars. I already also sold the rest of the Hoonigans in my garage and got rid of any that didn't sell."

Fred: "Now we must go to the shipping port Audi R8 tyke told us about."

Linda-058: "If we're gonna get to the port at Ringkobing, we're gonna fly there." (escorts us both to the D81-LRT Condor)

{in the Condor}

Linda: "What has been happening with Horizon Britain lately?"

Me: "So many racers at Horizon Britain are up in arms about the three RTR Mustangs coming in for Series 7. They are tired of the Hooonigan and drift trash being shoved down their throats, and so am I."

Linda: "Fred, who must be behind this?"

Fred: "The VVS. That's according to the intel that Chief gave to Audi R8 tyke."

Me: "I forgot one more thing. The bosses at the Horizon Festival have introduced Festival and Seasonal Playlists, and they are locking a lot of good cars behind the 100% completion mark. This is frustrating even more racers because they are being forced to play the Playground Games events and the Trial Co-op Championships, both of which are nothing but rage-inducing frenzies."

Fred: "I have heard about these Co-op Championships and how frustrating they are. I see where you're coming from."

Me: "The only time I ever did a Co-op Championship was back in January, when they offered the Mosler MT900S. I did win the car, but was particularly surprised when I was gifted a second one, so I sold that extra copy."

Linda: "The Co-op Championships you speak about? They rely too much on chance because you have to hope for competent and good teammates, along with a well-tuned car, to beat these Unbeatable Drivatars in all races to get the final reward. Otherwise, you lose."

Me: "Worse, the teammates you get will still treat it like it's a player vs player event when it's really player vs computer, hence why they either ram into you or they roadblock each other, costing the entire player team a victory."

Fred: "Is someone really trying to control Playground Games?"

Me: "I wouldn't think that for a second just yet. We have a mission to focus on anyway."

{at a helipad near the VVS port in Ringkobing, Denmark}

Me: "Is this the place?"

Fred: "We're landing at a helipad 6.4 miles away from the port."

(we both get in my McLaren Senna, while Linda goes on foot)

Fred: "Linda. Sierra 058. We're reaching the port by car, and we should let Chief know that we're going there."

Linda (COM): "Affirmative. Will let Sierra 117 acknowledge."

(we arrive at the large parking lot outside the port)

Me: "I don't see anybody there. Not a single human in sight."

Fred: "Who knows what's gonna come at us out of nowhere. We gotta be careful either way."

(we both get out of the Senna and enter the port, waiting for Linda)

(14 minutes later, a D79-TC Pelican appears, and out of it comes John-117, the Master Chief)

John-117: "McLaren, you may want to temporarily slow down your Horizon Britain operations until Playground Games and Turn 10 finally listen to the disgruntled Horizon Britain racers."

Me: "I am likely not going for any of the new cars that are coming. Anyway, Chief. What you got for us?"

John: "I got a Spitfire Plasma Pistol. Charges up really quickly and cools down more quickly than a standard Plasma Pistol." (pulls out the Spitfire Plasma Pistol)

Me: "Yeah, we can use that to slow down any Hoonigans, FDs, and RTRs that come at us."

Fred: "While we were flying from Britain to here, I found this." (pulls out a Blaze of Glory M45D Tactical Shotgun)

Me: "I know what that is."

Fred: "Blaze of Glory. Advanced Shotgun with Kinetic Bolts for maximized damage to vehicles, plus knockback against them. Reloads in one shell too. I take it you need some weaponry too." (hands me a Twin Jewels of Maethrillian Binary Rifle)

(Linda pulls out her Nornfang SRS99-S5 AM)

Linda: "I got my usual sniper rifle. The Nornfang. This time, I have actually loaded it up with 14.5×114mm HEAP rounds."

Me: "Where's Kelly though?"

Linda: "She's back at the Infinity, attending to Halsey."

Me: "Wow. Halsey is really old now. Anyway, let's go."

(the four of us silently walk into an open hangar)

John: "I have the explosives attached to my back. I will plant them here once we are done. They will destroy this port. After all, we shouldn't run into legal trouble since this port was illegally seized by the VVS."

Linda: "And they're the ones smuggling the Hoonigan, Formula Drift, and RTR cars into Horizon Britain by disguising themselves as legitimate beings."

Fred: "We'll destroy this port and leave nothing behind."

(I spot a lone Ford Mustang S5 in the distance, towards the back of the hangar, and destroy it with one round of the TJoM)

Me: "Caught one."

Fred: "Let me guess. It was a Ford Mustang RTR Spec 5. And they're sending these to AsphaltLand too but only the VVS can use them."

(Chief gestures towards us to come closer, after having disabled a Hoonitruck)

John: "There's a Hoonitruck here. I have removed its wheels and tires and torched the engine."

Me: "The VVS is really gonna be pissed off."

(a VVS goon appears from above, but Fred incinerates him with the Blaze of Glory)

Fred: "Hostile contact."

Me: "My radar actually did detect some human readings here. So I was wrong about this place having no humans."

John: "They're all VVS. We got to keep destroying the cars they have here."

(we continue onto the second hangar, which has multiple Hoonigan Bel Airs and RTR Mustangs)

Me: "Bel Airs and more RTRs here."

Fred (spotting another VVS goon by the black Hoonigan Bel Air): "Spotted another VVS goon here." (kills the VVS goon with an M395B DMR headshot)

(Chief then starts planting the explosives on the hangar)

Me: "Chief, what are you doing?"

John: "Planting the explosives here. These should be more than enough to take out two hangars at once."

Linda: "Once these explosives are primed, we only have a 5 minute window to get out of here."

John: "I know."

(all four of us go to the next hangar, which has more RTR Mustangs and a greater variety of Hoonigans and FD cars)

Me: "This place is making me sick."

(Fred points towards a black-and-orange Hoonicorn)

Fred: "Look! McLaren. Was that one of your older Hoonigans from Horizon Australia?"

Me: "Yep. But the VVS eventually stole it. Since I don't want it anymore, we can destroy it here." (shoots the black-and-orange NFS Hoonicorn with the TJoM)

(Chief then plants more explosives, this time at the walls near the hangar doors)

Fred: "How did the VVS manage to hoard this many Hoonigans at once?"

John: "I don't know."

Me: "Looks like they're going around the world stealing them from unsuspecting drivers."

Linda: "And now they're hunting us all down."

Me: "But they're not here yet."

Fred: "Kelly's been watching this from the Infinity. She's been receiving intel from Audi R8 tyke and Azelfland's cars."

Me: "What did they have to say?"

Fred: "The VVS apparently won't take kindly to us destroying their little Hoonigan and drift car stash here."

(the Chief then runs off into the distance, with active camouflage activated, to continue planting more bombs so that the VVS port can be destroyed in one go)

(Fred then destroys a Hoonigan RS1800 and a Twerkstallion with his Blaze of Glory, keeping his distance from the exploding cars so as to not lose his energy shields)

Fred: "Where'd Chief go?"

Me: "He went off to continue planting the rest of the explosives. The VVS's troops converging on our position. Get ready!"

Linda: "Copy that."

(2 hours later)

John (COM): "Explosives planted. The VVS is coming-"

Me: "Chief, I know. But this looks bad. Shall we regroup at the main entrance by the parking lot?"

John (COM): "Yes. Your Senna is still there, but it's more than fast enough to get you out of here safely and back to the Condor."

Me: "Acknowledged. I know just how TF2014 will feel once he discovers that we annihilated a VVS port that was illegally sending in Hoonigans and other drift cars to Horizon Britain."

(all four of us regroup at the main entrance by the parking lot)

Fred: "I'm detecting multiple readings."

John: "Weapons free!"

(eventually, a small horde of VVS Centenarios, RTR Mustangs, and Hoonigans appear out of purple Promethean spawn gates in the distance)

Me: "We got company!" (destroys a VVS Centenario with the TJoM)

(Linda destroys a VVS Hoonigan RS200 with two shots of her Nornfang)

(the VVS vehicles approach us)

VVS goon 1: "Do you guys not know how to respect our boundaries?!"

VVS goon 2: "Either leave, or die here!"

(ignoring the goons' words, we kill all the VVS goons without getting hurt and then destroy the rest of the VVS vehicles)

Me: "Is that all of them?"

Linda: "Affirmative. All clear."

John: "Setting off the explosives now." (sets off the explosives)

Fred: "We have to get out of here."

John: "Six minutes until this place sinks into the ocean. Hurry!"

Me: "Watch out!"

(a sniper rifle round from afar hits Fred in the chest, causing him to almost stumble into me. His shield level: 0%. His health level: 75%)

Me: "Damn. There's a VVS sniper!"

(five seconds later, Fred's shields and health quickly recharge to 100%)

Me: "Fred, you okay?"

Fred: "That sniper bullet could have killed me, but yes, I'm fine. My armor heals me by injecting biofoam into any wounds I have incurred."

Me: "That's MJOLNIR armor for you."

Linda: "Don't worry, I took out the VVS sniper. We should be good to go."

(all four of us hurry out of the port, with me and Fred escaping to the helipad in my Senna)

My Senna: "This really feels like an adventure unlike anything I've experienced!"

Me: "Sure does, doesn't it?"

(we weave and dodge traffic and incoming enemy fire from the remaining VVS goons)

My Senna: "Watch out! Hostiles! Turn right!"

Fred: "Roger that!" (makes a sharp right turn)

(detonation timer: 3:50)

(a VVS Centenario catches up on the right of the Senna but then crashes into a semi)

Me: "Sorry fellas, the car's full!"

(detonation timer: 2:25)

(a VVS goon latches onto the roof of the Senna)

Me: "We still got a stowaway!"

(Fred then aggressively turns the Senna left and right to shake the VVS goon off, sending him into a small lake where an alligator then eats him)

Fred: "The Condor's only 1.7 miles away. We got this!" (drives the Senna at full speed)

(detonation timer: 1:34)

(we eventually arrive at the helipad)

Me: "Phew. That was too close."

My Senna: "That was one hell of an adventure. Now, get us all to safety. Put me in the Condor." (drives himself into the Condor and fits inside perfectly)

(detonation timer: 0:27)

Linda: "Condor's ready."

John: "Let's fly out of here."

(the Condor immediately flies out of Ringkobing, right as the VVS port explodes and finally sinks into the sea, leaving nothing behind, as the Hoonigans, drift cars, and Centenarios that were there have disintegrated into nothing)

Me: "Phew. We're safe."

Fred: "For now." (pats me on the back)

Me: "Fred, you really love me, don't you?"

Fred: "Oh yes, I do. And you love me a lot too."

Linda: "So now you two are in love with each other?"

Fred: "As friends. Not in a romantic way, but rather by way of extreme friendship."

(Linda blushes from inside her MJOLNIR Argus helmet)

John: "I consider them brothers too."

Me: "Yeah. Same here."

Me (message): "R8 tyke. Me and my Spartan pals just destroyed the VVS base that was illegally sending in Hoonigans and drift cars to Horizon UK. This should ease tensions in Horizon UK a bit."

Audi R8 tyke (message): "Excellent work. Hopefully I can help TF2014 escape and assist Azelfland in taking down the VVS once and for all."

Me (message): "Thanks. I'll see you guys later or when I can. I got matters to take care of in the Halo universe."

(Linda flies the Condor through a slipspace portal that then takes us back to the Halo universe)

Me: "We're back in the Halo universe now?"

Fred: "Yes."

Me: "How far until we get back to Infinity?"

Fred: "5 hours."

Jerome-092 (COM): "Sierra 092 to Sierra 104. Have you accomplished your mission?"

Fred: "Affirmative. Will reach Infinity in T minus 5 hours."

Jerome (COM): "Acknowledged. 092 out."

Me: "That's Jerome? He knows we're alive."

Fred: "Yes. He contacted us after our little mission."

Me: "Red Team has been watching the VVS's movements all along."

Fred: "I wouldn't disagree with that for one second. Even before they went to the Infinity, Chief had been giving them and the Spirit of Fire intel."

Me: "So what happened to TF2014 and his girls again?"

John: "They got kidnapped."

Me: "How much longer till Azelfland and R8 tyke start dealing with K.A.R.R.?"

John: "Not long."

Me: "I'm excited to see the final showdown between them. K.A.R.R. must be destroyed for good."

Linda: "We still have to be careful out here, even if K.A.R.R. can't reach us."

Me: "Who knows what's out there..."

Fred: "There might be a Forerunner Guardian out here waiting to kill us by surprise."

Me: "Chief, watch for any Guardians. If one catches us, we're dead meat."

John: "You got that."

{at the VVS HQ}

Vincent: "I can't believe my empire is falling! They destroyed one of our ports at Denmark! It was that same port that we had been using to ship in these Hoonigans and drift cars to Horizon Britain!"

Azelfland.exe: "Wow, do you NOT realize the consequences of your actions? Do you NOT know how to properly guard your properties anymore?!"

K.A.R.R.: "Either way, I shall not only destroy all of AsphaltLand, but all of the univer-"

Azelfland.exe: "All of you are failures! And we're all dead one way or the other anyway!"

(all the people and vehicles in the VVS HQ start fighting each other again while a cloaked Elite Zealot uncloaks himself, armed with a Vorpal Talon Energy Sword)

Elite Zealot: "Wort wort wort!" (attacks the people in the VVS HQ, killing all the goons and shattering one of K.A.R.R.'s headlights, also almost injuring Hanna in the process)

(Yasha teleports in)

Yasha: "Make way for Yasha!" (attacks Vincent)

Vincent: "How the h-" (kicks Yasha only for her to turn into a log and appear from above, flipping forward three times and then doing a landing kick on Vincent's stomach)

Yasha: "Cicada!"

Vincent: "Kill her before she can escape!"

Yasha: "Too late!" (disappears in a poisonous purple cloud, causing all the VVS members to start coughing a lot, with some of them even vomiting)

Joanna Dark (faintly, in the background): "Jonathan!"

{5 hours later, back at the UNSC Infinity}

Fred: "Just got a message from Joel Carter himself. The last Hoonigan in your Horizon UK garage, a Hoonigan RS200, has successfully sold to an undisclosed buyer for 300,000 CR."

Me: "Good riddance. My garage is finally clean of Ken Block's overhyped drifting brand and the Formula Drift cars. Now to boycott the RTR Mustangs next."

Audi R8 tyke (message): "They should let me and my R8 LMS Ultra into the action and final battles against the VVS. Is that fine with you and your Spartan pals?"

Me (message): "Go ahead then."

Linda: "There might be one more new Hoonigan coming to Horizon Britain. It's Ken Block's Cossie. I know you'll boycott it."

Me: "Ken Block is a wannabe rally driver who can't even beat Tanner Foust or even any Spartan in existence. Good thing I have a VW GRC Beetle with Tanner Foust branding." (shows her a picture of the #34 Beetle with Tanner Foust branding)

Linda: "Wow. Foust is actually a great driver from what I've heard. I respect him a lot, even if rallycross isn't my thing."

Me: "Even then, my operations at Horizon UK are gonna be slowed down."