User blog:Azelfland/Asphalt stories: a deal with the XDiavel S

this is my second pun of the phrase "a deal with the devil".

the XDiavel S R&D was the easiest by a huge margin. you could go through the whole thing unboosted AND with a higher than the minimum tuning required. i also liked the quotes. my personal favorite of any R&D. still working on the Trash As F**k 10, though. and planning to ditch the Sagaris SE at some point.

this is episode 12 of season 10 of "Asphalt stories". here goes:

outside of the zombie infested Annex

Me: okay, Murcielago. you keep watch until we come back.>:I

My Lamborghini Murcielago: you got it.:)

Cynthia: are you guys sure this is where they keep Hanna and Loraine?:I

Wanda: yes. and according to my The House Of The Dead knowledge, it's where you face an armored Chariot in The House Of The Dead: Scarlet Dawn. and i'm talking about the boss from the first game that's named after the tarot card, not a literal chariot.:P

Emily: you know of this place?:O

Wanda: yep. before me and my siblings were born, my mom and dad were huge fans of the franchise. and they know every boss by heart. and shared this knowledge with us.:)

Persephone: well, one thing's for sure. that's where we'll find Azelfland.exe.>:I

Danny: well, you really know what to do right, sis?:I

Persephone: yep. follow me, everyone.:)

at the Annex

Azelfland.exe: well, well. if it isn't the losers i despise.>:)

Silver Azelfland: GIVE US BACK OUR GIRLS, YOU SATANIC SON OF A BITCH!>:(

Azelfland.exe: ....................................no.>:P

Roger: then i guess we'll do this the hard way.>:I

Azelfland.exe: you won't even last a couple seconds against me. Hanna and Loraine will soon be toast.>:)

Tails: oh, yeah?! you and what army?>:)

Azelfland.exe: *summons 3000 demons to assist him*

Tails: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!O_O

Sonic: you just had to ask, didn't you?T_T

Me: is that all? i think you need more backup.:P

Azelfland.exe: you'll pay for your insolence. DESTROY THEM!!>:(

the narrator from Spongebob: a few moments later.

Azelfland.exe: you may have bested my army, but you still won't get your girls back!>:(

Loraine: you sure about that?:P

Azelfland.exe: WHAT?! HOW DID YOU-?!O_O

Shadow Azelfland: your battle gave me the opportunity to move in and break your spell. that's how.>:)

Hanna: it's payback time. do you know what happens to those who dare kidnap us and call us damsels in distress EVERY DAMN TIME?!>:(

Azelfland.exe: i didn't mean it. it was all just a prank. ._.

Hanna: WE KICK THEM IN THE BALLS!>:( *kicks Azelfland.exe right in the nuts*

Azelfland.exe: *screams like the guy from the Big Enough meme*

Emily: serves you right, bakka!>:(

back at Azelfland's garage

My Lightning LS-218: you came just in time. i got some good news.^_^

Silver Azelfland: and what would that be?:)

Lightning LS-218: i managed to upgrade the boxing ring. now the girls can fight a realistic illusion of Anais if they want to train and/or to burst their anger on her. that includes TF2014's friends.:)

Me: cool.:O

Diana; the problem is, Lily, Naomi, Sarah and Kimberley are in Boston. how will they get to the gym without getting detected?:I

Scout (in the distance): need a teleporter here.:P

Flora: a teleporter in the gym is just what we need.^_^

Esmarelda: that is so Team Fortress 2. but i like it.^_^

Chica: it will also connect R8 tyke's garage and TF2014's garage with Azelfland's.:)

Lightning LS-218: i can also install a vending machine in the gym. but for that to happen, we'll need to invest on the Vulcano V12 Hybrid.:P

Me: fair enough.:P

the next day, on the Ducati XDiavel S R&D

My Ducati XDiavel S: so you're the Azelfland everyone is talking about.:)

Me: the one and only.^_^

Ducati XDiavel S: i'm the XDiavel S. nice to meet you.:)

Me: the XDiavel S? never heard of you. other than the fact that your R&D was postponed till now.:I

Ducati XDiavel S: doesn't matter. what matters is that you kicked some serious butt in most R&Ds you've done. pretty sure this one and the AF10's R&D will be no problem for you.:)

Amy: do i get to ride you if we complete he whole thing, like the girls ride the other bikes?:I

Ducati XDiavel S: yep.^_^

after the last test of lab 2

Me: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!>:D

R&D technician: you did well with her.^_^

Ducati XDiavel S: can you guys make him stop assuming my gender?-_-

Hanna: i got it.:P *zaps the R&D technician*

Me: is he dead?:I

Hanna: nah, he's unconscious. he'll regain consciousness in a few hours.:P

at lab 3

R&D technician?:Hello! I am not three kids pretending to be an adult in a lab coat! Welcome to Lab 3: the place that has no nitro right now. Don't worry -- I planned this!:P

Me: .................... okay.:I

after test 33

Me: WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!:D

R&D technician?: you did great back there.:)

Me: it was nice w- *realises* WAIT A MINUTE! YOU'RE NOT A REAL R&D TECHNICIAN! YOU REALLY ARE THREE KIDS IN A LAB COAT!>:( *unveils the disguise*

Silver Azelfland: *Sir Pelo Gasp*

one of the kids: uh-oh. he's onto us.O_O

Hanna: i remember these three. they were the first three kids i gave candy on Halloween back in 2017. what are THEY doing here?:O

Diana: so they're the troublemakers around here. and they were mama's kids after all.>:P

Me: YOU KIDS ARE IN BIG TROUBLE! YOU'RE GOING TO GET ZAPPED SO HARD THAT YOU WILL CRY HOME TO YOUR MOMMY!>:(

one of the kids: wait! wait! don't do this! we only wanted to watch you race.:'(

Me: huh?:I

one of the kids: yeah. we're big fans. and the adults wouldn't let us. which is why we disguised ourselves into the technician you were talking to.:(

Me: so you did this because you like me?:O

the kids: yes.:(

Me: i............... i don't know what to say. you guys really do like me. thank you.^_^

one of the kids: phew.':)

Me: but please stay out of trouble next time, okay?:)

the kids: okay, mister Azelfland.^_^

the next day, at test 50

Jiggy 2000: so, with all the help i provided you, i think i'll test my skills once more. let's see how you'll do unboosted against me.:)

Me: well, will you learn a hard lesson? or will the student surpass the teacher this time? let's find out.>:)

after test 50 (attempt 2

Me: YEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!! SUCK IT!! MADE IT UNBOOSTED, SUCKERS!! MMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! SO WORTH IT! TAKE THAT, VIVENDI! YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON ME!!>:D *does the Crash Bandicoot victory dance*

Jiggy 2000: well, i lost again. but it was fun.^_^

Ducati XDiavel S: that's because you forgot to tune the AI me.:P

Jiggy 2000: oh. my bad. i was silly to have challenged you like that.:P

Me: it's okay, bud. oh, and if you see TF2014, send him my regards, okay?:)

Jiggy 2000: the guy that beat me in the Concept S R&D? oh, yeah. i remember him. sure.^_^

Hanna: you dit it!:D

Me: yep.^_^

Hanna: now, kiss me, fool.>:3 *they both make out*

R&D technician: well done, young master. the XDiavel S is all yours.:)

Me: thanks.^_^

TheHawtDawg1: i'm sure Vincent wasn't behind this this time. *sees TweakRacer trying to sneak away* GOTCHA, BITCH!>:D

TweakRacr: ah, s**t! he figured it out!>:(

Wanda: if it isn't our old pal Tweak.>:P

Hanna: turns out you failed at rigging the challenge.:P

TweakRacer: and i would've gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids!>:(

Kazuya Mishima: says the guy who got his ass handed to his best friend.>:P

the crowd (from the SIKE! that's the wrong number! video): OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!:D

TweakRacer: not this again.-_-

Me: guess you never learn, do you?:P

TweakRacer: why's that?:I

Me (making my Ludacris impression): you gon' be cryin' like a bitch after i get mah hands on you, boy!>:)

TweakRacer (with Ultimate by Denzel Kurry playing): now, tell me. do you bleed?>:I

Sonic: that's ................................................ WHAT I ASKED YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT!>:D

the crowd (from the SIKE! that's the wrong number! video): OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!:D

TweakRacer: you got to be kidding!>:(

Cream: i'll teach you some manners, young man!>:( *kicks TweakRacer right in the nuts*

TweakRacer: AUGH! oh, my English tea bags!X_X

Tails: that's my girl!^_^

Roger: better than when i touched his Spaghetti yesterday.^_^

yesterday

TweakRacer (in Papa Bear's voice): *facepalm* somebody toucha my spaghett!>:(

back to the present

Shadow Azelfland: man, he hasn't learned since that zombie apocalypse.-_-

back at Vivendi's 8th base

Azelfland.exe: ow......................X_X

Vincent: you still feel that kick, don't you?-_-

Azelfland.exe: shut up.................. and you failed me again..................X_X

Herobrine: it wasn't us this time.>:I

Azelfland.exe: then who's responsible?.................... ow.................X_X

Bowser: that TweakRcaer guy.:P

Azefland.exe: NANI THE F**K?! OH, THAT PANDA STILL HASN'T LEARNED THE ERROR OF HIS WAYS!! I WILL SEE TO MAKING HIM SUFFER, AS AZELFLAND DID WITH THE TRASH AS F**K 10!>:(

and that ends episode 12 of season 10 of "Asphalt stories". the AF10 part will come after i complete it.

until next time.

-Azelfland.