User blog:Azelfland/Asphalt stories: Double or Nothing, Asphalt 9 style

for this one, it's basically me getting the F-Type SVR and the Camaro ZL1 50th edition. and as the title says, it's a reference to Double or Nothing from Need For Speed Payback.

this is episode 3 of season 9 of "Asphalt stories". here goes:

TF2014: you should be thankful i was here to stop you from killing more of those goons.:I

TweakRacer: they deserved it. those bastards.>:(

TF2014: well, i guess we should relax for now.:I

TweakRacer: i guess some music will lighten the mood. so, why not?:)

TF2014: *plays PSY-Gangnam style on the radio of his Lancer*

TweakRacer: *turns off the radio* WHAT IS THIS S**T YOU'RE PLAYING?!>:(

TF2014: dude, that's Gangnam Style, one of the best songs in the world.:I

TweakRacer: that's some offensive s**t you're playing!>:(

TF2014: have you ever thought of therapy?:I

TweakRacer: what the f**k for?!>:(

TF2014: all you do is get pissed at and with just about anyone and anything. i'm attempting conversation with you.:I

TweakRacer: conver-f***ing-sation?!>:(

TF2014: yes, CONVER-MOTHERF***ING-SATION! but you know what? i'm gonna shut up. you play your music. you play it your way. and I WILL JUST DRIVE.>:(

TweakRacer: can i drive?:)

TF2014: no.>:(

TweakRacer: can i have a lollipop?:)

TF2014: yes.>:P

back at Azelfland's garage

McLaren P1 boy: so, how was your date?:)

Hanna: it was amazing! it was our first time hanging out in San Francisco. and we pretty much did the usual. you know.^_^

McLaren P1 boy: i guess you guys had fun.^_^

Me: we sure did.^_^

My Porsche 911 GTS Coupe: sorry to keep you waiting. here.^_^ *hands over some b class car packs*

Me: *opens them and sees the last Jaguar F-Type SVR blueprint* cool!:O

McLaren P1 boy: nice one.^_^

Hanna: well, that w-

Thunder (in Big Smoke's voice): *comes out of nowhere* YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE, FOOL!>:(

Me: HEY! HEYHEYHEYHEY! THUNDER, IT'S ME, AZELFLAND! CHILL, CHILL!O_O

Thunder: *immidiately recognizes Azelfland* Azelfland? *drops the baseball bat* OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH, my dog! wassup! ha ha ha ha! hey man. are you okay?^_^

Me: good. it's been a long time.:)

Thunder: it sure has. so, how's it going?^_^

Me: well, still trying to take down Vivendi.>:I

Thunder: okay.:I

Me: oh, and by the way, i got some new friends as well.^_^

Thunder: let me guess. Blaze the Cat and the Super Mario Bros. joined you.-_-

Me: how did you know?:I

Thunder: i took a guess.:P

Me: oh.:I

Thunder: anything else i missed?:I

Me: Kazuya Mishima himself. AND Vincent now made a villain syndicate.:P

Thunder: goshdarn it.T_T

Me: i know, i know. but they're helping us.^_^

Thunder: also, where did the 5 blueprints for the Camaro ZL1 50th edition come from?:I

Tails: i thought you might need them, so i bought all of them for 190 tokens.^_^

Me: that's fine. i was gonna need her anyway.:)

My Chevrolet Camaro LT: did i hear right? is my sister joining us?:O

Tails: yep.^_^

McLaren P1 boy: well, that was a waste of tokens.:I

Alice: i found where the cars are. they're in Las Vegas. the Camaro ZL1 50th edition is located near the Four Dragons casino.>:I

Me: and what about the Jaguar?:I

Alice: the F-Type SVR is showcased near Caligula's casino. it will be shipped off to Japan tommorow.>:I

Wendy: ya'll want to make Vincent and the VVS angry, right? i say we take both.>:)

Me: then it's a plan.:)

Las Vegas, Nevada

Hanna: the fireworks will start any minute now. we have to get there while they're still going. it'll be all the distraction we need.>:I

McLaren P1 boy: remind me. why is Azelfland the one driving the P1 boy attack?:I

Me (through the earpiece): you wanted to drive the Camaro, right? it's either that or the truck.>:I

McLaren P1 boy: yeah, yeah. i know...... but Azelfland, if you hurt my baby, i swear........>:(

Me (through the earpiece): your baby? i've seen you T-Bone wrecks for fun with that thing.:P

McLaren P1 boy: that's different!>:(

a few seconds later

McLaren P1 boy: um, Hanna........ the fireworks started.':I

Hanna: ALREADY?! P1 boy, you said there would be plenty of time! this is the last time i let you plan a job.>:(

McLaren P1 boy: i couldn't afford the traffic, Kazuya. now step on it.>:I

near the Four Dragons casino

Me (through the earpiece): Hanna, you're on.>:I

Hanna: hold on to something.>:I *jumps near the Camaro*

McLaren P1 boy: WOOOOOOO YEAH!!!!!>:D

Hanna: P1 boy! go!>:I

McLaren P1 boy: *gets out of Azelfland's Lancer and runs towards the Camaro ZL1 50th edition* i'm breaking you out, girl!>:) *gets in the Camaro and shifts into first gear*

My Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 50th edition: SO LONG, SUCKERS!!>:D

McLaren P1 boy: your magic worked, Alice! i'm getting this baby out of here!^_^

five seconds later

McLaren P1 boy: got the Camaro, and MAN, she's WILD! even though she has a low top speed.^_^

Alice (through the earpiece): ready and waiting. but you're going to attract A LOT of attention with her.>:I

McLaren P1 boy: man, i'm DIGGING the look! i'll take this over the Chiron every day! i'm gonna scrape the yellow and paint the P1 boy attack all over it!^_^

Alice: not in Azelfland's garage, you won't. he runs the team, you know. and that's HIS car.:P

Me (through the earpiece): P1 boy, i'm with Hanna. we're off to Caligula's now.>:I

something beeps under the Camaro

McLaren P1 boy: um, guys?! something fishy is going on!O_O

Hanna (through the earpiece): what kind of fishy?:I

McLaren P1 boy: the "something is beeping under the car" kind of fishy.O_O

Alice: Vincent must have a tracker on it.>:I

McLaren P1 boy: i'll see if i can shake it off. *jumps off a small ramp* no luck. still there.>:I

Alice: don't get reckless, P1 boy. just get to me. i'll take it off.>:I

McLaren P1 boy: i got time. one more try. *jumps off a small hill* damn it. no go.>:I

Hanna (through the earpiece): P1 boy, we're on your schedule, remember?>:I

McLaren P1 boy: *jumps off a big ramp* DAMN IT! i thought i had it that time!>:(

Alice: just get your ass over here. we'll take it off.>:I

McLaren P1 boy: Alice, i'm coming in hot.>:I

meanwhile, in Vivendi's sixth base

Anais: team Azelfland took the bait.>:I

Vincent: good. end it.>:)

meanwhile, near Caligula's casino

Hanna: Azelfland and i are at the second car.>:I *does donuts around the F-Type SVR*

Me: *gets in the F-Type SVR* hello, handsome.>:) *shifts into first gear*

the Asphalt police comes in

Me: got the Jaguar F-Type SVR. and half of the Asphalt Police on my tail.>:I

Hanna: you know the plan. skirt the city and head south.>:I

McLaren P1 boy: loaded the Camaro to the trailer. Alice is checking on the tracker now.>:I

Alice: it's not a tracker, P1 boy. it's a bomb.>:I

McLaren P1 boy: A BOMB?!O_O

Alice: i told you not to be reckless.>:I

McLaren P1 boy: GODDAMN!!O_O

Me: Alice? mine started beeping too. what do i do?>:I

Alice: get over here. i'll deal with it.>:I

Me: i'll see you guys there, as soon as i shake off the cops. *gets into the construction yard* hopefully you can take a few bumps.>:I

My Jaguar F-Type SVR: i hope so too.>:I

Me: god, this is insane! off-roading in a Jaguar!O_O

Alice: i know some guys will be devestated to hear that.:I

Hanna: Alice, how sure are you you can disable those bombs?:I

Alice: 80%.>:I

McLaren P1 boy: i was hoping close to 100%.:I

Alice: best i can do.>:I

Me: Jesus christ, they got so many roadblocks up>:I

McLaren P1 boy: don't worry, man. it won't be a problem soon.>:I

Me: P1 BOY......!O_O

McLaren P1 boy: you'll see.:)

Me (getting ambushed by two Rhinos by the tunnel): P1 boy..........?O_O

McLaren P1 boy: *crushes the two Rhinos* the P1 boy attack 2: P1 boy strikes back!>:D

Me: holy Jesus, thanks.^_^' * jumps off a small ramp and loads the F-Type SVR into the trailer of the truck*

Alice: Azelfland's on board! P1 boy, get us out of the city. Azelfland and i will handle the bombs.

Me: Hanna, where are you?>:I

Hanna: running interference. Alice, are you sure you can disable the bombs?:I

McLaren P1 boy: guys, let Alice work.>:I

Alice: P1 BOY! WE'RE TRYING TO DISARM A BOMB HERE! maybe it's the yellow one. and P1 boy? try to keep her steady, would you?>:I

McLaren P1 boy: i'm doing the best i can.>:I

Alice: i picked a hell of a time to come for a job.':I

McLaren P1 boy: oh, baby! so, remember when you said to keep her steady?O_O

Alice: how's the big jump?:I

McLaren P1 boy: just......... hold on to something!O_O *jumps off the bridge*

Hanna joins the action

Hanna: ARE YOU GUYS OKAY?!O_O

Me: we're disarming two bombs in the back of a jumping truck. what do you think?>:(

Alice: why did i come on this job?! WHY?! " come with us, Alice! it'll be fun!".>:(

Hanna: i'll take on as many cops as i can to buy some time. stay out of trouble.>:I

Alice: "stay out of trouble" she says, driving away from a truck full of bombs!>:(

Hanna: um, guys! massive roadblock ahead. looks like the end of the road for me!O_O

McLaren P1 boy: keep driving. i'll be right there. *crushes the roadblock*  BOOM! WHOOOO!>:D

Hanna: damn, i owe you one, P1 boy.^_^

McLaren P1 boy: i already got a favor. take some cops out for me.>:)

Hanna: with pleasure. you get the hell out of town, and if you can't shake the bombs, ditch the cars.>:I

McLaren P1 boy: we got this, Hanna.:)

Alice: so. good news, bad news.:I

McLaren P1 boy: what's the bad news?:I

Alice: i can't disable the bombs.:I

Hanna: GUYS!! DITCH. THE CARS!O_O

Alice: BUT i can remove them.:)

McLaren P1 boy: how confident are y- you know what, don't answer.-.-

Alice: easy. easyyyyyy.>:I *removes the bombs*

Me: there. got it.>:I

McLaren p1 boy: you got the bombs off?:)

Me: yep.:)

McLaren P1 boy: what are you waiting for?>:I

Me and Alice: *throw the bombs towards the Asphalt Police*

Me: hey, P1 boy. you might feel a bit of a tailwind.:)

McLaren P1 boy: uh-oh.O_O

the bombs explode and leave a massive cloud of dust behind

Me: P1 boy? the cop problem's been taken care of.^_^

back at Azelfland's garage, after rebuilding the Camaro ZL1 50th edition and the F-Type SVR

Jaguar F-Type SVR: had it not been for you guys, my girl and i would be toast.^_^

Hanna: so would i. but it's a good thing my skills are still tight.^_^

Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 50th edition: you know, i think we should give them a deserving payback.>:)

Jaguar F-Type SVR: how?:I

My Aston Martin DB11: i know how. by using a dead meme.>:)

back at Vivendi's sixth base

Heihachi Mishima: looks like those brats sent us a gift.:I

Vincent: *reads the letter* "we're sorry for stealing the two cars. please accept this as an apology. -Azelfland". neat. he may be my enemy, but he sure is kind.^_^ *opens the present*

Uganda Knuckles 1: do u kno de wey?

Dr. Eggman: Knuckles?:I

Uganda Knuckles 2: u hav to hav Ebola to kno de wey.

Vincent: what's he talking about?:I

Uganda Knuckles 3: he doesn't kno de wey!

Anais: RUN!O_O

Uganda Knuckles 4: SPIT ON HIM!

Uganda Knuckles 5: SPIT ON THE NON-BELIEVER BOYS!

all the villains of the VVS ( running away, except for Anais): *screaming goat*

Anais: *reads the letter* "P.S. not sorry at all, old men and old lady. now, don't go thinking that it's okay to put my previous garage into lockdown for no reason! that's what you get for dong so! now deal with it, bitches!". DAMN! HE OUTSMARTED US!>:(

Azelfland.exe: *wakes up* those chumps must've given up on t- *sees the Uganda Knuckles army* WAIT, THEY GOT THE CARS?! (in Wario's voice) GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! MUST RAGE-NAP!>:( *snores out of rage and eliminates the Uganda Knuckles army by snoring*

Vincent: that escalated quickly. ._.

and that ends episode 3 of season 9 of "Asphalt stories". had to end it in a very funny way.

until next time.

-Azelfland.