User blog:Audi R8 tyke/Asphalt Stories-If the Audi R8 LMS Ultra took over Asphalt 8

So the Audi R8 LMS Ultra is kinda…crap. But what will happen if it took over A8? What will go wrong?

My Audi R8 LMS Ultra: Guess what, guys?

Me: What? You killed an Enderman?

My Audi R8 LMS Ultra: No, I can work in GAMELOFT!

Me; Geez, that’s a good-

My Mercedes-AMG GT3: THIS IS MADNESS! YOU CAN’T WORK IN GL!

My Sbarro Sparta: MADNESS? THIS! IS! SBARRO! SPARTA! (Sparta kicks the AMG)

My McLaren 675LT: Good! Now what you’re gonna do?

My Audi R8 LMS Ultra: TAKE OVER ASPHALT 8!

My McLaren 675LT, my AGHT and my Geely GC9: (In sync) I got a BAD FEELING about this…

In GL HQ, Barcelona

GL’s Dart GT: Welcome to the Dev team, noob, you’re gonna take a test to ensure that you qualify to work for the GL Game Development Team.(Throws the paper to my R8 LMS Ultra) FINISH IT, F**KTARD!

My Audi R8 LMS Ultra: Oh ok! Lemme see… oh f**k, how do I find the derivative of 3x^3+2ln(6x^666+32x^50)? I regret not watching Audi R8 tyke doing calculus...

(phone rings)

My Audi R8 LMS Ultra: Hi there! GL Development Team here!

Me: You're working on that calculus?

My Audi R8 LMS Ultra: Yeah... =(

Me: Send me the question and I'll answer you.

My Audi R8 LMS Ultra: How do you know I’m working on that thing?

Me: Legends says that new comers for GL Dev Teams will need to do some crazy calculus questions, but no difficulties for those who studied hard, because those are dumb enough for school quizzes only. Oh… I see it! A zombie pigman can do this! The answer is 9x^2+(7992x^665+160x^49)/(6x^666+32x^50)!

My Audi R8 LMS Ultra: OH GEEZ THANK YOU! =D

5 Minutes later…

GL’s Dart GT: YOU’RE DONE NOOB? AND OMFG YOU SCORED A 1000 OUT OF 1000? F**KING AWESOME! NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THAT! YOU QUALIFY FOR… THE ASPHALT DEV TEAM FOR GOD’S SAKE!

My Audi R8 LMS Ultra: Thank you sir! I will be on work IN NO TIME!

100 seconds later…

Matt: Hi there, Audi. I’m Matt, Gameloft’s livestreamer. I heard you scored a 1000 out of 1000 in the admission test, right?

My Audi R8 LMS Ultra: Yes.

Matt: BRAVO. Can you kindly help me to add new cars in Asphalt 8? We’re currently working on the new update and we need someone to type in the code. Johnny got fired after the last incident.

My Audi R8 LMS Ultra: OH, I’m sorry about that. I’ll work on that RIGHT AWAY!

10 minutes later, in GL’s TOP SECRET CODING ROOM (Shush! Don’t tell anyone!)

My Audi R8 LMS Ultra: This is the Windowsxp GL uses to update Asphalt 8…COOL. OH IS THIS BIG LUMP OF DUST-FILLED THING GL’s A8 SERVER? Seemed like it came from the 90’s… NOW, LET’S DO WHAT I WANTED! >=D (Takes out a checklist) OK, Step 1: Remove ALL THE BMWs. LET’S DO THIS!

60 seconds later…in The BMW A8 Club,

The BMW 3.0 CSL Hommage: WTF IS GOING ON?

The BMW M3 (F80): GL IS REMOVING US!

The BMW M2 Special Edition: DAMN YOU, GL! DAMN YO-(Gets removed)

In GL’s TOP SECRET CODING ROOM

My Audi R8 LMS Ultra: NIIICE, it went well. Next, ALL REMAINING SPECIAL EDITION CARS WILL BE SOLD AT 1 CREDITS. Let’s go! >=D

1 seconds later…

Me: OH! Both SE cars are on sale! I am going to claim what I deserved! (Buys the R8 SE and the SLK SE)

The Audi R8 e-tron SE: Never I thought that we’ll meet again, Pro G Lo!

Me: ME NEITHER DUDE! (Pauses the action and breaks the 4thwall) Pro G Lo is my YouTube username. Feel free to call me this way in Asphalt Wiki. Besides, I should mentioned this name on my introduction page. (Resumes the action) LET’S GET THINGS STARTED!

In the TOP SECRET CODING ROOM, again

My Audi R8 LMS Ultra: Next, I'll add my brothers and sisters into the game...

3 minutes later...

A group of RS5s: F**K YOU! >=(

An R8 SE: F**K YOU TOO B**CHES! >=(

The group of RS5s: KISS YOUR ASS! B**CH MOTHERF**KER! (Bullies and kills the R8 SE)

The Audi S8: Things gettin' weirder here... -_-

The Audi S1: I agree.

The Audi  RS6 Estate: LET’S KILL THE MERCEDES NOOBS!

5 minutes later...

Noobs: HELP! WE ARE BEING CHASED BY A LOT OF AUDI RS5!

Me: I’m here, everyone!

Noobs: Are you going to save us?

Me: NO, B**CHES! >=D (Drops an RS5 and kills the noobs) I got the privilege to own all Audis in Asphalt 8 now. (Maniac laughing)

6 Days Later…

Matt: Since this new update, a lot of people deleted Asphalt 8 from their phones and iPads. IT MUST THE R8! I MUST DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT GETS WORSE! (Goes to the TOP SECRET CODING ROOM and removes the new “update” content and reverts A8 to original)

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE TELLS ME THAT SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN

Anyways guys, here it is- the Audi took over Asphalt. Thanks for watching and see you later. (oh my god, WHAT'VE I DONE TO THOSE NOOBS? WHAT PERSON AM I ?!)