User blog:Azelfland/Car dialogues: Azure coast tour and the first date

now, before we begin, read the disclaimer on my first blog edition of "car dialogues" you'll thank me later.

as you already know, the Porsche 718 Boxster S championship has begun. i already completed the Azure Coast, the first tour of the championship.

this will be the first of many "car dialogues" in my blog barrage. so, here we go! the car dialogues are about to begin. so, grab your tacos, because it's about to go down. so, here goes:

just a normal day at Azelfland's garage, when all of a sudden...

Hanna(now konw as Hanna the Bat/Fox): *slams the door angrily* WHAT THE FRICK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!>:(

Me: whoa! calm down. what's wrong?

Hanna: the people on the street call me a weirdo. seriously, DO I LOOK LIKE A WEIRDO TO YOU?!

Me: hmmmm.... let's see..... judging by the bat ears, the Pink ribbon on your head, the sky blue fur, the sky blue quills that look like short hair, the 2 short fangs that look like the ones of a bat, the red hair that cover a bit of your eyes - which look like the ones Sonic the Hedgehog has, with the only difference that your eyes are orange-, the bat wings with a bit of green on the sides, the sky blue fox tail, the gloves that reach the elbows, the yellow T-shirt- no offense but i can see your belly-, the purple skirt, the black-and-blue striped socks and the black boots with a white stripe in the middle and  the thick heels on the sole, i can tell your appearance has changed a lot. also, to answer your question, no, you're not a weirdo.

Hanna: oh, thank god. so, let me tell you what happened to me. i-

Me: let me guess. you got struck by your TV, which left you unconscious for 4 hours straight, transformed from human to a hybrid of a bat and a fox -"hybrid" means "a mix of species", by the way-, tried to explain the situation to your parents, then you teleported to Mobius on a high attitude, almost died, but your wings saved you, then you met my other 5 Sonic OCs that i created alongside your Sonic OC version of yourself and so, here you are.

Hanna: how did you know what i was gonna say?

Me: that's the backstory i gave to- *realizes* WAIT! ALL THIS HAPPENED FOR REAL?!O_O

Hanna: that's what i'm trying to tell you.

Me: WHAT?! * pauses the action, breaks the 4th wall and talks to the audience* okay. straight up, i didn't expect this to happen. i mean, think about it. i make a crossover of real life with Asphalt 8. then i make a crossover of the first crossover with Pixar's "Cars". then, i would make a crossover of these 3 with the "Sonic the Hedgehog" franchise fandom. we're talking about a CROSSOVERCEPTION over here! *unpauses the action* i thought this was just fiction.

TheHawtDawg1: hey, Azelfland. i just got a fly- *sees Hanna's changed appearance* whoa! why does Hanna look like a weirdo?

Hanna: *as she's about to punch TheHawtDawg1 in the nuts* WHAT DID YOU SAY?!>:(

Me:* becomes a meat shield for TheHawtDawg1* whoa, calm down Hanna! you're tripping, you're tripping.O_O

Hanna: i'm so sorry. i just get triggered when people call me a weirdo.:(

Me: it's okay. *talks to TheHawtDawg1* so, Lucas, you were saying....?

TheHawtDawg1: i got this flyer here.

Me:*takes the flyer* let me read it.*starts reading* "the World Racing Association invites you and your team to the Porsche 718 Boxster S championship. the winning team gets their very own Porsche 718 Boxster S and the seven pokemon Emeralds. please note! the seven pokemon emeralds will be given seperately on tours 2 to 8".

Hanna: huh? the seven pokemon emeralds?

Me: they're like the chaos emeralds, only they're shaped like Pokeballs.

TheHawtDawg1: makes sense if you think about it.

Me: anyway, our first championship tour takes place in the Azure coast. let's move out.

My Porsche 911 GT3 RS: have a good time, guys. oh, and just to let you know, my sister is a bit of a wild party animal, but with more brains than your average wild party animal.:)

after lots of safe driving and gas stations, the team arrives on the Azure coast.

Me: huh. seems to me there's someone that made it before us. is that...... NEKON?

NEKON: that's right. i'm NEKON and before you ask, yes, i'm the one and only.

Me: Azelfland. it's nice to meet you, NEKON. but how did you arrive before we did?

NEKON: i had a bit of help. guys, this is the Porsche 718 Boxster S.

My Porsche 718 Boxster S: so, you're the ones my brothers and my sister are talking about.

Me: yup.

Porsche 718 Boxster S: seems to me you know a lot about the cars, their strengths and weaknesses.

Me: we just have to function as a team. Hanna, you take care of the acceleration.

Hanna: got it.

Me: Lucas you're on the handling.

TheHawtDawg1: i'm on it!

Me: NEKON, you take care of the nitro.

NEKON: you can count on me.

Me: i'll take care of the top speed. LET'S ROLL!!

after a spending spree on upgrading the Porsche 718 Boxster S to the max

NEKON: don't you think we overdid it?

Me: nah, it's probably nothing.

after the qualifiers and the way-too-easy Grand Finale

Me: okay....... that was easier than i thought.

TheHawtDawg1: it will get tougher from here on out, too. don't let your guards down just yet.

Me: okay, everyone. dismissed.

Hanna: hey, Azelfland. um, i was wondering if you want to go on our first date together, because there's a funfair in town and i don't want to miss it.

Me: sure thing. let's get prepared, shall we?

Azelfland and Hanna prepare themselves for their first date. later that night.

Me: *sees Hanna in her yellow dress and her black high heels* wow. you're really beautiful.

Hanna:*giggles* thanks. you're also handsome.:3

Me: *blushes* back at ya. anyway, shall we go?

NEKON: have a good time, guys.:)

Hanna: thanks, NEKON.

Me: *gives the keys to the Porsche 718 Boxster S to Hanna* you drive.:)

Hanna: really?:3

Me: yeah. after all, you're a great girl.

on the way to the funfair

Hanna: phew. it sure was a hard day. and by the way, thanks for supporting me.

Me: you're welcome.

Hanna: can you believe it? we're a couple for a few days and it's our very first day.:)

Me: i sure can. we're really gonna have a good time.

as they arrive to the funfair.

Me: hm, something tells me these 2 vagos are up to no good. pull up here and let me do the talking.

Hanna: man, i should've known.-_-

Me: *talks to the Vagos gang members in Spanish* hey. excuso me, jose. yo soy el Azelflando, and i want that grass. comprende?(translation: hey. excuse me, man. my name is Azelfland, and i want that grass. understood?) *Azelfland and Hanna laugh*

Vagos gang member: eh, F#$k you, cabron.

Hanna:*confused* what?

Me: now, that wasn't nice. *tries again* coughio up el weedo, before i blow your brains out all over the patio.(translation: cough up the weed, before i blow your brains out all over the floor.)

Vagos gang member: chinga a tu mandre, pendejo.(translation: f#$k your mother, a@#hole.) * the Vagos gang members leave*

Hanna: man, let me get the heater on this.

Me: you know what, screw this. *takes Hanna's baseball bat and gets out of the Porsche 718 Boxster S*

Hanna: get him, Azelfland.

Me: yeah, yeah. you're gonna get it now. *hits the Vagos gang member with the baseball bat* yeah. you messed with Azelfland.*kicks the knocked-out vagos gang member* remember that name.>:)

Hanna: what about the other gang member?

Me: i got this. PK-THUNDER! *zaps both Vagos gang members and turns them to ashes* problem solved. now we can move on with our date like nothing happened.:)

Hanna: all right.:3

Porsche 718 Boxster S: i guess i'll find a parking spot myself. have a good time.:)

Me:*waiting at the entrance* after you.

Hanna: awww, you're such a getnleman.:3

after the very fun date

Hanna: that was AWESOME! and that Azelf plushie is so cute. thanks for the great date, Azelfland.:3

Me: i'm glad you liked it. *Hanna and Azelfland make out for 10 seconds*

Hanna: that was a fun date. i had a great time. maybe for our next date we should go somewhere to eat.

Me: sure. we can also get to know each other better on our second date.

Hanna:*giggles*sure. now let's go back. our friends must be really worried.

Me: okay.

oh boy. that was the longest i've ever gotten on a blog like this one. you guys might have an idea about how my blog barrage will look like. also, i had to censor some words on the vagos part to make it more kids-friendly. anyway, i hope you guys enjoyed it.

until next time.

-Azelfland.