User blog:Audi R8 tyke/Asphalt Stories-Easter Special Part 3

SO I guess if you're in America or Canada, your Easter hasn't over yet when I posted this. ANYWAYS, ENJOY!

In Vivendi’s Nether base, Nether …

Vincent Bollore: TYLER SHAX! YOU FAILED ME! HOW COULD YOU LET AZEFLAND AND HIS DWINDLING FLEET OF SUCKERS ESCAPE!?

Tyler Shax: NOT MY F**KING FAULT, B**CH!

Vincent Bollore: HOW F**KING DARE YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME, MOTHERF**KING W*NKER? Anyways, I have, a new one that can out do you in killing Azefland and that R8 driving traitor. COME, HEROBRINE!

Herobrine: Yes, Vincent, my friend.

Vincent: CRUSH-AZEFLAND AND THAT TRAITOR!

Herobrine: Command accepted. (a bunch of eerie eyes appear behind Herobrine)

Meanwhile, in Azefland’s base…

My RX8: HEY GUYS! WATCH THIS! (pushes a crate out from the plane)

Me: (opens the crate) OH! A CLK GTR AMG! Where did you get it?

My RX8: In a scrap yard, I paid 300,000 credits for this.

Me: Oh god, this thing is badly damaged, LOOK AT THE DOORS! IT’S SEVERELY DENTED! LOOK AT THE BUMPER! IT’S MISSING! AND don’t get me started on the heavily damaged front end!

My SL65: My teacher…I can’t believe you find him!

Me: WAIT, YOU KNOW HIM? IT WAS LIKE IN THE 90’S!

My SL65: OF COURSE! HE’S MY MENTOR!

My SLS E-Drive: Please help us to fix it-for us Mercedes’ sake.

Me: Alright, I’m gonna contact those folks at-(phone rings)- OH, THE RS5 IS DONE? I’M GONNA CLAIM IT!

My TTS: I bet it was repaired, right?

Me: BINGO. Now I’m gonna get it. (hops in my RS4)

3 hours later…

Me: HEY GUYS! I FOUND MY R8 V10 PLUS! However, the RS5 went shopping.

My R8 V10 Plus: (Sees my R8 LMS) HEY YOU! WHO ARE YOU!

My R8 LMS Ultra: I’M YOU, BUT RACE READY!

Azefland: Seems they had a lot to say…

Me: Yeah, just leave them alone. BY THE WAY, WTF ARE THOSE ZOMBIES ON THE ROAD? (opens RS4 boot) WHAT THE-(creeper explodes and knocked me out)

3 hours later…(in my perspective)

Me: (wakes up) Ugh, that creeper is terrible.

My CLK GTR AMG: You OK?

Me: YEAH, I’m fine, just- how do you get fixed?

TheGoldenThunder: We managed to contact AMG and got those dudes fixed the car.

My CLK GTR AMG: It seems that you’re fine. Can we drill into the career race right now?

Me: SURE! =)

3 hours later, in Dubai, UAE

Me: OH CRAP. YOU SKELETONS TRY TO WIN ME, RIGHT?

Minecraft Skeleton: We are going to bring you to our boss. You have no chance to escape.

2 Rose of the Desert Laps later…

My CLK GTR AMG: WOOHOO! WE DID IT BOY! WE BEAT EVERY SINGLE CAR WITHOUT TOUCHING THOSE STUFF! AND I’M FLYING!

Me: YEAH BABY, LET’S ROLL- OH CRAP. VINCENT.

Vincent: HELLO R8 TYKE! YOU MISS ME?

Me: NO. SUCK ON THIS, B**CH! (raises two middle finger, one for each hand)

Vincent: WHY YOU TRAITOR-SQADRON 8! KILL HIM!

Vivendi Squadron 8 Member: Copy. (Brings up a big chainsaw)

My CLK GTR AMG: We’re gonna be alright, right?

Me: I think not this time.

Vincent: DO IT! HAHAHAHA! WAIT-WHAT IS THIS NOISE?

Vivendi Squadron 8 Members: OH CRAP-(Gets ran over by my R8 V10 Plus)

My R8 V10 Plus: NO ONE MESSES WITH MY FRIEND, B**CHES!

Vincent: WTF? WHAT IS THIS R8? IT SHOULDN’T BE IN ASPHALT 8!

My R8 V10 Plus: WRONG TEAM, B**CH! (Tries to drift punch Vincent)

Vincent: (Dodges) Hmm… Your car wiped out our most elite assassin team…INTERESTING. I’LL BE BACK FOR YOU! (Hops into his SLS GT and left)

My CLK GTR AMG: WHO IS THIS GUY? AND WHY DOES HE HAVE MY STRONGEST STUDENT?

Me: That’s a LONG story. I’ll tell you later.

Later, in my garage.

Me: WTF. IS.THIS. MY HOUSE IS COVERED IN SLIME.

My R8 V10 Plus: I guess the culprits are those green little cubes hopping around…gross.

Me: CONTACT THE HOUSE CLEANING COMPANY! GET MY GARAGE CLEANED ASAP!

My R8 V10 Plus: Right away.

30 minutes later, in Azefland’s base.

My CLK GTR AMG: SO THOSE MEN BURNED DOWN OUR HOMELAND AND CAPTURED MY STUDENTS?

My SL65: Yup.

My CLK GTR AMG: WE NEED REVENGE! MERCEDES, PREPARE AN ATTACK!

My AMG GT3: BUT TEACHER, the enemies will kill us! They have far more people than us! Besides, they had mind controlled OUR FRIENDS!

My CLK GTR AMG: Oh crap. So we need to regain power to save them and KILL THE DEVIL WHO’S MADE US MERCEDES LIKE THAT!

Suddenly, lightning strikes outside the garage.

My R8 LMS Ultra: WTF?

Herobrine: (emerges from lightning) HARNESS THE POWER OF HEROBRINE, THE ALMIGHTY GOD OF MINECRAFT! AND HIS ALSO ALMIGHTY GLC 250 4MATIC!

Herobrine’s GLC 250: AREA RESTRICTED. ALL NOOB INTRUDERS 2 B HAXORED BY ME L33T MERCEDES GLC 250. I AM TEH SHAX ALLY. I ROXOR U AND THEN ROFL. THEN U AM CRY. I RECEIVE ORDERS THRU ANTENNA ON THIS L33T HELMET. IT IS HOTNESS. I MUST OBEY ALL ORDERS. I LIKE 2 PWN NOOBZ 4 TEH MASTER VIVENDSORZ. U=NOOBZ. GLC=L33T. PREPARE 4 TOTAL PWNAGE. WOOT WOOT WOOT WOOT!

My AMG GT3: How weird is that. That’s Herobrine ally, not Shax ally.

Herobrine: Cuz’ SHAX gave me this GLC! (Zaps my AMG GT3 with lightning)

My CLK GTR AMG: YOU OK, BOY?

My AMG GT3: Not really. (passes out)

My P1: EAT SH*T BUDDY, EAT SH*T! (Punches Herobrine)

Herobrine: HOW PATHEIC IS THIS P1. GLC, ATTACK THE P1!

(The GLC pushes the P1 into a wall)

Herobrine’s GLC: 1 NOOBZ R PWNED. 105 NOOBZ LEFT TO PWN. 99.9% LEFT UNTIL TOTAL PWNAGE. WOOT WOOT WOOT WOOT!

My Purple SLK: ThiS Is NOt GOInG tO EnD WelL!

Herobrine’s GLC: 105 NOOBZ STILL R NOT PWNED. CONTINUE PWNERSHIP UNTIL ALL NOOBZ R PWNED. TEH ESCAPE IS IMPOSSIBLE. I AM 2 L33T. I OWNZ JOO. U WILL GET FLATZORED BY MY L33T TIR3Z.

My R8 LMS Ultra: I’m gonna stop you!

My CLK GTR AMG: YOU POOR CHAP, LET ME-THE CLK GTR AMG FREE YOU FROM THE MIND CONTROL! (Helps my R8 LMS Ultra to attack the GLC)

Azefland’s Sesto Elemento: I’m not gonna sit here and just watch! Count me in!

Herobrine: MY MONSTER ARMY, ATTACK!

(A lot of Minecraft hostile mobs charges into Azefland’s base)

Azefland’s Sesto Elemento: WATCH THIS, ZOMBIES! (Rams into zombies and skeletons)

My Supra: HERE COMES THE TURBO MONSTER! (Squashes a spider under its tires)

My Civic Type R: RICER POWER-FART CAN ACTIVATE! (Releases fart can exhaust to pop zombie heads)

My Lamborghini Veneno:  Geez, what is *THIS* mess? I’m gonna BRING IN THE BIG GUNS! (Leaves the scene)

Meanwhile…

Me: TweakRacer?

TweakRacer: Yeah?

Me: There’s something BAD going on…

Herobrine: HELLO, TRAITORS.

TweakRacer: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US?

Herobrine: Your heads.

Me: (Draws out the enchanted Diamond Sword) OVER MY DEAD BODY, B**CH!

Herobrine: Resistance is useless, punk. (Takes out his sword)

Me: BRING IT ON! (Attacks Herobrine)

Herobrine: I know it. (Blocks my attack)

Now, back to the dog fight down there.

Azefland’s Sesto Elemento: NO! THEY’RE OUTNUMBERING US!

My Veneno: WHO SAID THAT? WE HAVE THE GAU-8! (Fires GAU-8) DIE, SON OF MOTHERW*NKERS! (Attacking Minecraft Mobs fell rapidly)

My 675LT: WOW. That’s a REAL BLOODY MESS.

My RX8: (To a zombie) HEY, you like porn? (Takes out a porn DVD)

(Zombie snarls)

My RX8: Take that as a no. (pauses for 2 seconds)Geez, YOU HATE PORN? HOW COULD YOU! (Kills zombie with his porn DVD)

TheGoldenThunder’s GTA Spano: DIE, INGRATES! (Attempts to zap a bunch of creepers by thunder power)

(Creepers turned into charged creepers)

TheGoldenThunder’s GTA Spano: Uhh, we got a BIGGER issue here…

My RX8: PORN HATERS MUST DIE IN THE FURY OF THE RX8! (Kills the charged creepers one by one)

Back to the GLC boss fight scene…

My CLK GTR AMG: LAD, WE CAN’T HOLD THIS LONGER!

(GLC pushes my R8 into the wall…again)

My R8 LMS Ultra: GLC… DAMN YOU!

My CLK GTR AMG: (Knocks out my R8) Young lad, you need some calming music. ANYWAYS, I’M GONNA FIGHT NAUGHTY STUDENTS!

My AMG GT3: (Wakes up) Ugh, what happened? OH WAIT, THAT GUY WITH WHITE EYES! I MUST REVENGE HIM!

My P1: LET’S KILL THE WHITE EYE GUY!

Meanwhile…

Herobrine: You’re definitely losing. WHY DON’T YOU GIVE UP!

Me: NEVER!

Herobrine: Alright, the you’ll-(ambushed by my AMG GT3 and my P1)

My P1: Retreat, white eye guy!

My AMG GT3: OR I’LL BUST YOUR F**KING HEAD!

Herobrine: YOU HAVE THE GUTS, BASTARDS. RETREAT!

(All Minecraft hostiles retreated)

My RX8: I will find you porn haters…AND I’LL KILL YOU ALL! ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS AND WIFE AND SONS!

(Someone walks out from a door)

My RX8: ARE YOU A PORN HATER?

That person: WHOA. Chill, buddy, it’s me, the ONE AND ONLY. MCLAREN P1 BOY!

P1 Boy’s P1 GTR: AND I’M HIS LEFT/RIGHT HAND.

P1 Boy: (To me) Can’t believe you didn’t quit Asphalt 8, huh?

Me: Me neither!

P1 Boy: I had something to tell you guys, but I hadn’t got the chance after I quit Vivendi.

My Purple SLK: ThAT MeaNS aRE yU a ViVeNDZORs tOO?

P1 Boy: NOT NOW, IDIOT! ANYWAYS, there’s one thing that will become Vivendi’s biggest resistance force, but I don’t know where it is.

My P1: Go on, what happened and what is this?

P1 Boy: When I was in Vivendi, I got data for Azefland’s Devil Gene and I translated the data and stored it into a car. Obviously, that went bad, and the Vivendi Lab Technicians were killed by the explosion. However, since it happened 2 months ago, I can’t really remember I stored it in which car, and where did it go. I had a fix about that set of data to REALLY boost the car without leaving ONLY the destructive instincts on.

Me: C’mon, what’s the car you stored that on!

P1 Boy: OH I REMEMBERED IT! IT’S ON AN R8 LMS, AND I REMEMBERED YOU OWNED THAT!

Me: (Breaks the 4th wall) I’ll go through that later, but not now. (Resumes the action) Yeah, and he’s right over there! (Points to my still unconscious R8)

P1 Boy: That’s great! I’ll go work on that now!