User blog:Azelfland/Asphalt stories: the "Boat 2.0" recruitment and the ONUK Sazan LM build

as the 2018 Spring update is ending, i got myself the blueprints for the ONUK Sazan LM and i got "the boat 2.0", which is none other than the Nanoflowcell QUANT FE, which is now a multiplayer reward and i don't know why. anyway, it was worth getting two cars i wanted really badly before the update ended. also, the Ducati XDiavel R&D was postponed. i'm pretty sure it's because Gameloft didn't have enough time to launch the event. which means that this summer is going to be a crazy one for me.

this is the final episode of season 7 of "Asphalt stories". i'm also going to include TraceG11 as a new permanent character in the series. so, here goes:

TF2014: did i hear right?! is Vincent gonna try to destroy AsphaltLand?!O_O

Hanna: no doubt. however, we're on our way to collecting the chaos emeralds. there's only 5 left.>:I

Jake: speaking of the Chaos emeralds, we got two more.>:I

Me: cool. now we got the blue one and the one that looks like a diamond.^_^

Amy: that makes it 3 more to go.^_^

TF2014: what about R8 tyke?:I

Jake: we don't know yet. but with the gnome dust, we were able to sneak in and get the emeralds from the SLR McLaren's trunk.:)

McLaren P1 boy: and i got more info on where another one of Azelfland's enemies from the past is.>:I

Diana: where?>:I

McLaren P1 boy: on the Amazon.:I

Danny: got it. come on, Dia. we got a water-type pokemon to take out.>:I

the Amazon

Metal Azelfland: you came at last, huh?>:)

Danny: yeah. so?>:I

Metal Azelfland: you two are definitely an annoyance. we'll exterminate you quickly.>:)

Alomomola from an alternate universe: WAAAAAAALUIGI TIME!!>:D *fuses with Metal Azelfland*

Diana: wrong franchise, dude.-_-

Water Metal Azelfland: we don't care. time to kick your butts.>:)

Diana: not with MY pokemon form. *transforms into her Delphox form*  OH COME ON!!! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A DELPHOX?! UGH! whatever. let's get this over with.>:(

one butt whooping later

Alomomola from an alternate universe: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!O_O *gets sucked into the Ultra Wormhole and gets sent back to where he came from*

Danny: only two more to go.>:)

back at Havana, Cuba

Vincent: Azelfland's making a mockery of me in front of my members. i know he defeated two of his enemies from his past, but he's still collecting those chaos emeralds. well, he's come this far, and this is as far as he'll get. Dusknoir from an alternate universe will see to this.>:)

Metal Azelfland: OH COME ON, MASTER!! i don't need a ghost-type pokemon to help me. i can take on Azelfland by myself.>:(

Vincent: METAL, YOU'LL DO AS I SAY!! you AND Dusknoir will vanquish Azelfland................ and his annoying friends.>:(

meanwhile, back at Azelfland's garage

Hanna: nice. now we need to find the other 3 chaos emeralds.^_^

My McLaren 675LT: okay, Huayra BC. now it's your turn t-

??? i don't think that's gonna happen.>:I

Everyone: huh?O_O

Adrian Heat: it's been a while.>:)

Me: YOU AGAIN?! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US THIS TIME?!>:(

Adrian Heat: i may have left Roaring Thunder, but i still can't forget the humiliation from that defeat. YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!!>:(

My Vencer Sarthe: it's your problem, not ours.>:(

Adrian Heat: whatever. i'm challenging you to a race. with your new cars and your Ninja H2R in her mastery, up till challenge 12, the fifth race of the M14A, the triple trials with your 570S, your FF and your LaFerrari AND the Nitro Face-Off in Tag Racing.>:)

My Apollo IE: bring it on. we won't lose to you.>:(

My Apollo N: we're gonna kick your ass so hard you'll cry back to your parents. oh, wait. your parents and your grandparents and your great-grandparents are all dead. so deal with it.>:)

the crowd (from the SIKE! that's the wrong number! video): OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!:D

My Kawasaki Ninja H2R: and another thing. Hanna and i will do laps all over you and Hanna will look sexy while she's doing it.>:)

after the aftermentioned challenges

Adrian Heat: you may have beaten me, but your girl's driving still sucks.>:(

Hanna: *gets steaming mad* WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY DRIVING, YOU SEXIST SON OF A BITCH?!>:( *punches Adrian Heat to the ground*

Flora: now he's gonna get it.>:P

Hanna: LISTEN UP, YOU BASTARD!!! TELL US WHAT THE F@#K VINCENT IS PLANNING WITH THE CHAOS EMERALDS!!>:(

Adrian Heat: okay, i'll tell you. he's going to use them to destroy you guys with his secret weapon and because Azelfland.exe was mad about Azelfland winning all the time. nothing else, really.O_O

ThunderWolf: you know what, i think it's time to take out the trash.>:I *beats the everliving crap out of Adrian Heat*

Tails and Cream: whoa!:O

Shadow (making his Mortal Kombat announcer impression): FINISH HIM!>:)

Tails and Cream: whoa!:O

Shadow: what?>:I

ThunderWolf: *proceeds to punch Adrian Heat super fast* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA WAAAAAATAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!D:<

Adrian Heat: your punches are about as strong as a mosquito's.>:I

ThunderWolf: omae wa, mou shindeiru.>:) (translation: you're already dead.)

Adrian Heat: NANI?!O_O (translation: WHAT?!) *his body inflates and explodes violently*

Shadow (making his Mortal Kombat announcer impression): ThunderWolf wins. flawless victory. FATALITY!>:)

Tails and Cream: whoa!:O

Flora: well, he deserved it.>:(

the next day, on Instabul, Turkey

Amy: okay, so what's the plan?:I

Alice: well, since "the boat 2.0" and the parts for the Onuk are in the same place, we're going to need a distraction to get the guards out of their sight.>:I

Vivendi goon: *sees Amy's breasts* wow. booooooooooooobiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeesss.:D *grabs Amy's breasts*

Me: right. so, once i throw the 950.000 credits to the cage, i get in the QUANT FE and we run away as fast as we can.>:I

Amy: HELLO?! ARE YOU LISTENING?! EARTH TO PERV!!>:(

Vivendi goon: *backs off* oh, dear.O_O

Amy: I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE WITH THE ENEMY OR NOT! YOU DON'T GRAB WITHOUT PERMISSION!>:(

Jake: if Amy doesn't like you, then i don't like you, either.>:(

Vivendi goon: we could talk this o- *gets roasted*

Me: let's go.>:I *throws 950.000 credits to the cage, breaks it and gets in the Nanoflowcell QUANT FE*

after an intense chase

My Nanoflowcell QUANT FE: had it not been for your friend's jets and that mysterious helper, we wouldn't be here now.:)

TF2014: wait. a mysterious helper? who might it be?:I

Sarah: i dunno.:I

Lily: me neither.:I

???: that would be me.:)

TF2014: who are you?:I

TraceG11: i'm TraceG11. i was the one who helped you guys escape those Vivendi goons. now, i want to talk to someone named Azelfland.:)

Me: that's me. welcome to the team.^_^

TraceG11: thanks.^_^

TweakRacer: so, what brings you here?:)

TraceG11: i heard a lot of great things about you. and seeing that huge collection of cars and bikes, i see that you're the real deal.:)

Me: thanks.:)

Nanoflowcell QUANT FE: quick reminder. i got myself two chaos emeralds in my trunk.:P

Shadow Azelfland: hm. so, it's the red and the sky blue one this time.>:I

Hanna: that means we'll take down the next enemy from Azelfland's past.>:I

Me: Hanna and i will go on this one.>:I

TraceG11: and i know just where they are. follow me.>:I

some random cavern in the Sahara Desert

Metal Azelfland: well, here we are again.>:I

Me: i think i know how it will go. you'll get powered up, you'll chase us while throwing rocks, then once we get to a certain point, we chase you, only i'll use the Electric Fly on you.:P

Metal Azelfland: how do you know?:I

Me: i played Crash Bandicoot: the wrath of Cortex, that's how.:P

Hanna: and just so you know, we are many.>:)

Dusknoir from an alternate dimension: we are many more.>:I

Me: wearemanymoreplusinfinitytimesinfinitynotakebacks.>:I

Hanna: um........................................... ._.

Metal Azelfland: you watched too many Mortal Kombat X videos, didn't you?:I

Me: yep.:P

Metal Azelfland: enough! time to settle this!>:I *fuses with Dusknoir*

Hanna: uh-oh!O_O

Fire Metal Azelfland: see if you can beat me now!>:)

another butt whooping later

Dusknoir from an alternate dimension: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!O_O *gets sucked into the Ultra Wormhole and gets sent back to where he came from*

Hanna: only one more to go.>:)

back at Havana, Cuba (again)

Azelfland.exe: VINCEEEEEEEEEENT?! WHY IS MY ALTER EGO STILL COLLECTING THE CHAOS EMERALDS?! HE'S DEFEATED GIGALITH, ALOMOMOLA AND DUSKNOIR!! I'M BEGINNING TO QUESTION THE VALUE OF YOUR SECRET WEAPON!!>:(

Metal Azelfland: i don't need another pokemon scrub. i can take that Azelfland punk with my one arm tied behind my back!>:(

Vincent: oh, Metal. stop being silly. Azelfland.exe, he will use Darkrai's power. no need for you to lose any beauty sleep.^_^

back at Azelfland's garage (again)

My ONUK Sazan LM: man, it feels good to be back at it.^_^

Shelby: let me guess. you got the last chaos emerald.:I

ONUK Sazan LM: yup. it's in my trunk.:)

Shadow Azelfland: it's the purple one, all right.>:I

TraceG11: and now, Metal Azelfland is in Grand Canyon.>:I

Wanda: we got this one, right, Tweaks?>:I

TweakRacer: right.>:I

Grand Canyon, USA

Air Metal Azelfland: try and stop us now!!>:)

TweakRacer: tell me. why are you in your Swoobat form again?:I

Wanda: it will make it easier for us to take them out.>:I

a third butt whooping later

Darkrai from an alternate universe: I REGRET NOTHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!O_O *gets sucked into the Ultra Wormhole and gets sent back to where he came from*

TweakRacer: now let's deal with Vincent once and for all.>:I

on an evil space station above Earth

Sonic: it's game over, Vincent!>:I

Vincent: you may have collected all the chaos emeralds, but you're too late. Metal Azelfland can now use the element powers to send you to another dimension.>:)

Wendy: we'll see about that! we got the type match-ups with us!!>:(

after a fourth butt whooping, the microchip that makes Metal Azelfland obey Vincent breaks after the last hit

Vincent: can't you ever let me win? what do you want from me, you cretins?!:(

Azelfland.exe: *gets really mad*

Vincent: no, Azelfland.exe! i can explain!O_O

Azelfland.exe: IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT NOW!!>:( *fires a fireball, but misses Vincent and hits the generators*

Vincent: um....................... i don't think you should've done that.O_O

Metal Azelfland: *regains his consciousness* ugh. where am i? hey. wait a second. that annoying Vincent guy doesn't have control of me anymore. where's that pathetic twerp?!>:I

Me: there's no time for that, Metal Azelfland.>:I

computer voice: DANGER! critical power overload in evil space station. run for your lives.

Everyone: *runs away*

Vincent: i think your fireball caused a slight chain reaction. it might be wise if we made our way to the escape pods.O_O

Azelfland.exe: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!! IF YOU HADN'T GOTTEN IN THE WAY, NONE OF THIS WOULD'VE HAPPENED!!>:(

near the end of the evil space station

Metal Azelfland: this doesn't look good.>:I

Alice: let's teleport out of here, then.>:I

Everyone: *gets teleported*

back at Azelfland's garage (again)

Metal Azelfland: Azelfland, Hanna, Alice, i'm grateful to all of you. had it not been for you guys, i would still be under the control of Vincent.^_^

Flora: anytime, Metal Azelfland. hey, do you guys think this will be the last of Vincent?:)

Me: i'd like to believe that, everyone. but somehow, i doubt that very much.:I

the scene changes to Azelfland.exe and Vincent ending up to the North Pole, on a small circular iceberg

Azelfland.exe: IDIOT!! FOOL!! NINCOMPOOP!! YOU'VE LANDED US IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!!>:( *gets ready to zap Vincent*

Vincent (trying to get away from Azelfland.exe's wrath): *gets zapped* ouch! *gets zapped again* WHOA-HO-HO! no, wait! i can explain! *gets zapped for the third time* AH! I'LL GET MY REVENGE, AZELFLAND!! JUST YOU WAAAAAAAAIT!!!O_O

and now back to team Azelfland

TF2014: well, one thing's for sure. he'll be back in the next update AND on the next event.:P

Hanna: anyway. so, Sarah. wanna take up boxing?:)

Sarah: sure. it's gonna be a great way to keep myself fit.^_^

Wanda: cool. we have many things to talk about.^_^

Audi R8 tyke: hey, Azelfland. how's it going?:)

Me: good. now, let me guess. you wanna do a rap battle with me.:P

Audi R8 tyke: yep.:)

the rap battle takes place in the Final Destination from Super Smash Bros. Melee, with Arthur and Medic- The rockman playing on the background

Feuerrm: *MLG airhorns*

Azelfland versus Audi R8 tyke. begin.

Audi R8 tyke: let's-a do this, bitches! R8 tyke is back to slay! think you can beat me? i can rap all day! time to time, you'll try to beat my rhymes, but you're so bad, it should be a crime. you think you're funny, mister Azelfland? well, if you ask me, you're a "Snorlaxland". R8 tyke can help you from being a pathetic little nerd. but you know what they say. you can't polish a turd.>:)

the crowd (from the SIKE! that's the wrong number! video) and Audi R8 tyke: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!:D

Me: oh, boy. it's time to wreck a fat Asian. maybe after this, i can get a big medallion. it can be a pendant of the man i really hate: lazy, annoying and overweight. you try and act so big when I'M already famous. while you're alone, shoving noodles up your anus. now, sit back, relax and enjoy the show. let me show you how a proper rap goes.>:)

suddenly, Mike458 comes out of nowhere

Mike458: what up, biatch? you guys are lame. time for the king of Chryslers to lay down some rhymes.>:)

BOSS ROUND! Azelfland and Audi R8 tyke versus Mike458. begin.

Mike458: *evil snicker* IT'S ME! THE KING! THE EPITOME OF SWAGGER!! here to wreck the nagging ass of you two braggers! now watch me blow you away in a flash, as i showcase my army and my fat stacks of cash! BWAHAHAHA!!>:D

Audi R8 tyke: looks like the sexist decided to come out of his shell. but meh! whatever! i'm gonna send you to HELL! with my rhymes, so hot that it will melt your face, then after i take Zoe home, maybe even get to third base. Mike, you're a joke. have you seen the way you look? you look like something a 2-year old drew in a coloring book. you think kidnapping Zoe is the way you'll come to power? i think you should shower. maybe she'll.............. stay an extra hour.:D *trollface*

Mike458: oh, boy, R8 tyke. my fat asian foe. you trying to act cool? well, that's a new low. MOVE ASIDE, FATSO! 'cause Mike rules the day! i'm big, i'm strong-

Audi R8 tyke: don't forget he's gay!:D

Mike458: SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU NOODLE LOVING FREAK! all you do all day is fricking streak! Zoe doesn't love you! your relationship is filled with lies. as soon as she sees me, her panties fly. come on. what's wrong? have a tug on my tail. try to spin me around, as i watch you fail. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!>:D

Me: oh, geez. it's Mike. i'm gonna need my glasses. 'cause now this room has two giant asses. why are you here? you're gonna give me a fever. go back home and hump some Justin Bieber. you act like you're sleek. you act like you're swanky. but the closest you'll get is the coolness of Spudanky.:P

Spudanky: HEY!>:(

Me: why do you even bother to act like a villain? when you only want Zoe being Netflix and Chillin'. now, hands in the air if you think Mike is whack.:P

Everyone: *raises their hands*

Me: there you go, Mike. there's your feedback.:)

Mike458: Azelfland, the star, the man of the hour. it's a shame that when you're fighting, you just sit there and cower. even NEKON is better than you. if i were you, i'd be scared. STAY AWAY FROM ME, EVEN IF YOU WERE PREPARED! i'm a 10-foot devil. are you visually impaired? don't worry, 'cause no one really cared. you think you're cool? well, let me give you a pitch: you're worthless, pathetic and a downright bitch, all your fans think you're weird and you bring shame to the word "glitch"!>B)

it was at this moment that Mike458 knew.................. he f@#$ed up.

Audi R8 tyke: SHUT UP, MIKE!! NO ONE LIKES YOU!! YOU'RE A MESS!!>:(

Me: how can Zoe like you if you don't know how to dress?:I

Audi R8 tyke: YOU LOOK LIKE A DEVIL, BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN FLY!>:(

Me: the person who made you must've been really fricking high.O_O

Audi R8 tyke: YOU'RE ANNOYING, FAT, AND PRETTY MUCH THE BANE OF US ALL!>:(

Me: why don't you go home and swim on your Chrysler bowl?>:)

the announcer from Street Fighter IV: K.O.!!

Mike458 (falling to his doom): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I SHAVED MY LEGS FOR THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiis......................................!!!!X_X

Me and Audi R8 tyke: *high five*

and that ends the final episode of season 7 of "Asphalt stories". the new update will bring some fresh ideas. and like i said before, this is going to be a crazy summer.

until next time.

-Azelfland.