Talk:Chevrolet Impala/@comment-30726130-20161221080306/@comment-4733413-20161221214308

Next update: The Ripoff Update!

The fastest car in the game will be a D class... dog. Yes. A dog. A poodle to be exact.

It will have a starting rank of 1, it will have a handling rating of 1000000Gs allowing it to spin around in circles for no reason, a top speed of 5 mph, and a nitro speed of  4 mph! It will accelerate at 0.5 MPH per second! The first four upgrades for the dog will (overall after buying each of the four upgrades) boost the ranking by 1, allowing you to get a maximum ranking of 2! The fifth upgrades however, will boost the dog's rank by approximately 7000, giving an overall MAX rank of 7002! You can only pay for upgrades with tokens, and the level 5 upgrades require you to submit your social security number and your credit card information! If you refuse to pay for the level 5 upgrades immediately after paying for the level 4 upgrades, we will instantly sue you for everything you have for no reason whatsoever and we will always win these cases!

The dog will cost approximately 2 million tokens to purchase, and it will be an Elite-type dog! Instead of Tune-Ups, you will have to buy dog food which will cost approximately 10000 tokens per bag of dog food (each bag only refills one bar of the elite meter). Pro kits will be all "Ultra-Super OP Legendary-Rare-Greedloft" cards which are only available after maxing out your dog. Each upgrade will cost approximately 5 million tokens and the first four of 5 upgrades to each component (legs, fur, barking, and size) will only up the ranking by 1, but the fifth upgrades will immediately boost the rank by approximately 3000 allowing for a final rank of 10002!

Oh yeah... you want to know what the fifth upgrades cost?