User blog:Azelfland/Asphalt stories: the Mazzanti Evantra recruitment and the Riviera championship

after fully upgrading my Spada, i decided to focus on getting another one of the most forgotten cars in Asphalt 8, the Mazzanti Evantra. this happened yesterday and after getting a few upgrades for it, i decided to take part on the Riviera championship. besides, i want to get it so badly and having a new car on my collection is really gonna help me a lot. even though i already have better cars.

this is episode 13 of season 6 of "Asphalt stories". this continues right where we left off. here goes:

Nick: hi, Rouge. how's it going?^_^

Rouge: i'm good. thanks for coming here. i wanted to talk to you.:3

Nick: what is it?:I

Rouge: you see, i wanted to give you a challenge.:3

Nick: i can do that. what is it?:3

Rouge: here is what we'll do. how about we have a boxing match?:P

Nick: WHAT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! I CAN'T HIT A GIRL!O_O

Rouge: um...... what?:I

Nick: listen. flirting with you is fine and all, but i can't hurt you physically OR mentally. that would be so unlike me.:(

Rouge: then, how about we make it interesting?>:3

Nick: i'm listening.:I

Rouge: if i win, you'll do what i want for the day. if you last 3 of 12 rounds OR if you win -doesn't matter which one will happen first-, you'll get to be my sparring partner AND you'll get to punch my breasts for 5 minutes. what do you say? are you up for it?>:3

Nick: you're on.>:)

Rouge: i knew you'd be up for it. before we begin, how about a kiss for good luck?:3

Nick: sure.^_^ *they both make out*

in Azelfland's garage

Audi R8 tyke: so, now that we fully upgraded the Spada, what do you plan to do next?:)

Me: i plan to recruit the Evantra to the team. she'll be very useful. also, tonight, i'll participate in the Riviera championship.>:I

Audi R8 tyke: it's going to be tough.:I

Me: yeah. i know. anyway, i should introduce you to one of my most recent members, the R8 E-Tron Special Edition.^_^

Audi R8 tyke: WHAT?! YOU GOT HER ON YOUR TEAM?! I'M SO TRIGGERED RIGHT NOW!!>:(

Me: why?:I

Audi R8 tyke: because i-

My Audi R8 E-Tron Special Edition: let me guess. you couldn't complete my R&D in time to get your own and now you hate the likes of me, because of your personal experience.-_-

Audi R8 tyke: how did you know?:I

Me: because people who didn't get it just so happen to hate it and there's hordes of them in multiplayer now. sooooooo, the only solution to solve that problem is to MAX PRO it and keep it as a collector's item.:P

TheGoldenThunder: but it's very good in the-

Me: DON'T. EVEN. TRY!>:(

TheGoldenThunder:....................... ._.

Me: anyway, where was i? oh, right. now, i got her with a bit of help from the Chevrolet SS, after i fully upgraded him. and why didn't you get yours?:I

Audi R8 tyke: you see, when i was working with Vivendi and they made me do a simulation program, and promised me this car, if i completed all of it. however, after that failure at the final AI, they confirmed their victory with their simulation. i was sad i couldn't get her.:(

Me: must've been tough. at least the Conglomerate is no more.:I

Audi R8 tyke: wait, you brought it down?O_O

Me: yep. after i beat the final race against the AI.:)

one month ago, after beating the final AI of the R8 E-Tron Special Edition R&D

Me: YEEEEEEEEESS!!! SUCK IT!!! I DON'T CARE IF I SPENT ANY TOKENS!! MMMMM!! SO WORTH IT!!>:D

Vincent: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY MONEY!!!!;_;

buyer 1: man, what a rip-off.>:(

buyer 2: let's get outta here. we ain't giving a single penny for a piece of s@#t.>:( *all the buyers leave*

the Conglomerate head: SON OF A BITCH! WE TOLD YOU TO LOSE!! NOW YOU'LL PAY THE PRICE!!>:(

Cynthia: not if I can do anything about it! no more being miss nice lady!>:( *beats the everliving crap out of the Conglomerate head*

Shadow (making his Mortal Kombat announcer impression): FINISH HIM!>:)

Sonic and Knuckles: whoa!:O

Shadow: what?>:I

Cynthia: *hits the Conglomerate head with a hammer to the head, hangs him with a hook and then uses her chainsaw to slice his body in half*

Shadow (making his Mortal Kombat announcer impression): Cynthia wins. flawless victory. FATALITY!>:)

Sonic and Knuckles: whoa!:O

Me (narrating the flashback): and that's when it happened. after Aris Cheese God appeared and after Vincent insulted Diana -because Diana gave him the middle finger-, Vincent wanted to kill him for providing us the information. Shadow Azelfland, however, took the bullet and the Devil Gene inside him activated, making him go beserk against Vincent. the girls begged him to show mercy, because it wouldn't be worth killing his very own creator. after Shadow Azelfland backed off, the Devil Gene deactivated and he stomped Vincent in the nuts to make sure he'd pay for the insult.>:I

the flashback ends

Audi R8 tyke: first of all, CYNTHIA KILLED THE CONGLOMERATE HEAD WITH A CHAINSAW, ALL BECAUSE HE WANTED TO KILL YOU?! that is so unlike her!O_O

Mee: yeah. but she had no choice. normally, she would make others happy, but if anyone tries to harm us, she'll want to kill them.:P

Audi R8 tyke: i understand. and second, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS THE DEVIL GENE?!O_O

Me: yes. i'm not the only one. my clones also happen to posses it as well.>:I

Hanna: guys! i think i found where the Evantra is.>:I

My BMW 3.0 CSL Hommage: is it in the PETA hedaquarters?:P

Hanna: how did you know?:I

My Chevrolet Corvette Grand Sport: she took a guess.:P

Me: let's not waste any time, then.>:I

My Vanda Electrics Dendrobium: yeah. but problem is, the Evantra only goes at 350 kilometers per hour at pure top speed. we need cars that have approximately the same speed with it.:I

Me: luckily, the Ford GT and the Mercedes-Benz SL 65 AMG Black Series are 4 kilometers per hour faster, which is no problem.:)

at the PETA headquarters (again)

Wendy: well here we are again.:I

Persephone: looks like they got one guard outside.:I

Me: so, Clyde got smarter after last time. okay, so what's the plan?>:I

Hanna: okay, so once again, we're gonna sneak inside. and Azelfland, no Leeroy Jenkins charge this time.>:I

Me: that's disappointing.:(

PETA member (seeing Alice's breasts): wow. booooooobiiiiiiiieess!:D *gets closer and grabs Alice's breasts*

Loraine: yeah, it's because we need to be stealthy. but Clyde might be waiting for us -again-, so the only thing to do is kill the-

Alice: HELLO?! ARE YOU LISTENING?! EARTH TO PERV!!>:(

PETA member: *backs off* oh, dear!O_O

Alice: I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE WITH THE ENEMY OR NOT! YOU DON'T GRAB WITHOUT PERMISSION!>:( *decapitates the PETA member with her steel fans*

Hanna: ............... or we could do just that.:I

Me: well, at least we have 0.99% of them inside. let's go.>:I

on the top floor of the PETA headquarters (again)

Clyde: WHAT?! how did you get past my guard?!>:(

Alice: turns out your guard was a perv.:P

Clyde: UGH! i knew i should've let him inside and sent someone else!>:(

Wendy: it's too late for self-pity. you're going down!>:(

Clyde: i'm not done, though. remember your parents, Wendy and Alice? they're in this cage, right here.>:) *reveals the cage with Wendy and Alice's parents in it*

Wendy: IT CAN'T BE!O_O

Alice: SO OUR PARENTS ARE ALIVE AFTER ALL!O_O

Clyde: yes. now, if pull this lever next to me........>:) *pulls the lever and reveals an acid pit*

Flora: well, this is deja vu right there.O_O

Wendy: YOU MONSTER! YOU'RE GONNA BURN OUR PARENTS?! WHAT DID THEY EVER DO TO YOU?!>:(

Clyde: they wouldn't pay their debts. that's what. now, your parents' names were Wilhelm the Hedgehog and Mercedes the Hedgehog, right? well, if i pull the lever to the right once again, the cage will slowly drop, until it sinks into the acid pit completely.>:)

Alice: YOU MADMAN!>:(

Clyde: BUT i'll give you a chance. let's see if you can defeat THE 99 MEMBERS OF THE REMAINING 399 MEMBERS!!!>:D

Wendy: that's gonna be easy.>:)

Alice: let's go.>:I

both: *beat the crap out of the 99 PETA members with their Capoeira skills and throw them into the acid pit*

Clyde: well, that was unexpected. i never thought some dance moves would be deadly.:P

Alice: it's called Capoeira, you idiot. look it up.>:P

Clyde: HOWEVER, you still lost! i'll just pull the lever to the right and kill your parents. you two belong in a castle just to be damsels in distress.>:)

MICROAGRESSION! HIT HIM!>:D

Clyde: WHAT'S GOING ON?!O_O

Silver Azelfland: *bumps his fists and uses the Electric Fly* GIMMEMYMONEYYYYYYYYYYY!!! *uses it again* JOHNYSTARTTHECAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!! *and again* GOTTASUCKMYNUTS!! *and again* BRINGALLTHESAUUUUUCE!!D:<

Clyde: ow. what the hell was that for?X_X

Alice: you got owned!>:)

Silver Azelfland: if you use a microagression, you get owned. Azelfland, Shadow Azelfland and i have the Electric Fly with us. and we'll use it if you ever dare to use a microagression.>:)

Clyde: it doesn't matter. i'm still p-

Shadow Azelfland: NOT SO FAST! *uses the Electric Fly* INEEDMYMONEYYYYYYYYYY!!D:<

Silver Azelfland: *pulls the lever to the left and saves Wendy and Alice's parents* you're safe now.^_^

Mercedes the Hedgehog: thanks............. whoever you are.^_^

Silver Azelfland: you can call me Silver Azelfland. i'm friends with your two daughters.^_^

Wilhelm the Hedgehog: thanks, Silver Azelfland. we owe you one.^_^

Shadow Azelfland: well, Clyde. looks like you lost. again.>:) *stomps him in the nuts*

Clyde:  AUGH! oh, my English tea bags.X_X

Wendy and Alice: MOM! DAD!:'D *they both hug their parents*

Mercedes: it's been a long time.:')

Wilhelm: and you're all grown up now.:')

Me: sorry to interrupt your reunion, but we got the Mazzanti Evantra to rescue.:P *throws 250.000 credits to the cage and breaks it*

back at Azelfland's garage

Nick: uh................... did we miss anything?:I

Cynthia: nah. nothing important. did we miss anything?:P

Nick: nah. same here. but there is one thing you missed.:P

Cynthia: what is it?:I

Nick: you see, Rouge wanted to give me a bit of a challenge, soooooo........ funny thing is, she wanted to have a boxing match with me. i was afraid at first, but when she said she would allow me to be her sparring partner and would let me punch her breasts for 5 minutes - werdest thing i've ever herd from a girl- if i survived 3 of 12 or if i won -both happened-, i couldn't resist. after that, we felt bad for each other, so i healed our wounds with my blood aura.:P

Hanna: blood aura?:I

Nick: yeah, it's a power that i have that allows me to heal others' wounds, whether they're slight injuries to injuries that can cause potential death. cool, right?:)

Diana: it sounds so cool!^_^

Nick: in the end, it was worth the fun. though, we'll just stick to being an ordinary couple for now.:P

Me: now, we'll go take part in the Riviera championship. Enzo, Devel Sixteen Prototype, SLS AMG GT Coupe Final Edition and Evantra, you'll come as moral support.>:I

My Mazzanti Evantra: okay.:I

Me: everyone else, you know the rest. i don't need to explain.:P

London, England, 11:08 PM

Buick Riviera: so, you're Azelfland huh?:)

Me: the one and only.^_^

Buick Riviera: you might be familiar with the Avista Concept, right? i'm the Buick Riviera.^_^

Me: the Buick Riviera. never h-

Buick Riviera: let me guess. you never heard of me.:I

Me: how did you know?:I

Buick Riviera: 'cause you said the same thing to the Vanda.:P

Hanna: yeah. that's true.:P

Buick Riviera: and you must be Azelfland's girlfriend, Hanna the Batfox. you're such a cutie.:3

Hanna: why, thank you. you flatter me with your kind words.^_^

Me: well, we got almost 17.000 credits, which should be enough for the first upgrade level for everything. except for pro kits, which i'll leave to the Huayra BC and the 675LT.:P

at the Grand Finale

the announcer: ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 19th annual Asphalt championship. this championship is the third championship with electric cars and this time, we got Buick Rivieras all over the race!:D

Buick Riviera: all right. let's get 'em.>:)

Me: all the practice i've done with the Huayra BC will totally pay off.>:) *gets a perfect start*

the announcer: AND AZELFLAND GETS A PERFECT START ON THE FIRST GRAND FINALE OF THE CHAMPIONSHIP, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! OH, HE'S SMASHING THE ENTIRE COMPETITION, F@#$ING UP EVERYBODY'S DAY!O_O

after the Gand Finale

Buick Riviera: that felt good. but mind if i ask? why did you brake on the 270 degree turn during the second lap?:I

Me: it's a terrible habit of my own.:P

Buick Riviera: fair enough.:I

Hanna: well, tommorow, we're off to your future home.^_^

Buick Riviera: your garage in Barcelona?:D

My Ferrari Enzo Ferrari: yep. you'll love it there. it's really neat, you'll meet new friends AND your brother, the Avista Concept is with us, as well.^_^

Buick Riviera: sweet!:D

Me: so, anything else?:)

Buick Riviera: i just hope the R8 E-Tron Special Edition won't be on your garage.-_-

Hanna: why are you mad at her?:I

Buick Riviera: had it not been for the R8 E-Tron Special Edition invasion on the 1100-1200 range, i would've had my multiplayer viability.>:(

My Devel Sixteen Prototype: sorry if i trigger you, but................... she's with us.:(

Buick Riviera: WHAT?!O_O

Me: whoa. calm down. she's actually MAXed and nearly PROed. no big deal.:P

Buick Riviera: well, if yours is close to MAX PRO, like you said, i'll make her an exception.:)

Hanna: glad we could work things out.^_^

Me: but we're gonna have to go to sleep for now.:P

Hanna: agreed. man, i'm tired from this adventure we had.:P

and that's the end of episode 13 of season 6 of "Asphalt stories". the weirdness is strong with this one. also, the "R8 tyke being in a simulation for the R8 E-Tron Special Edition R&D" part was something i came up with.

until next time.

-Azelfland.