User blog:Azelfland/Car dialogues: Trezor and Hommgage gone crazy

as the title says, things in the Trezor championship and the Hommage R&D are starting to get really crazy.

by "crazy", i mean this. i had a hard time trying to catch up with the tours of the Trezor championship. while i also completed lab 3 on the Hommage R&D, i feel like i will need to spend tokens to win the Hommage, because i want it SO BADLY! and because tommorow, i have school. also, starting this Friday, i will hit the gym, meaning that i will be even busier than before. but that won't stop me from getting the cars i want.

this is episode 11 of season 5 of "car dialogues". here goes:

Asphalt labs, 10:25 PM

Shadow Azelfland: all right. you heard Azelfland. i'll take on anything related to classic races, Feuerrm will do the knockdown challenges, Silver will do the drifting and Loraine will be the one to take on infected races, because off her immunity to toxic wastes and Uranium itself.>:I

Feuerrm: it's not that simple. especially after lab 4.:I

Loraine: yes, but you heard him. he'll come back eventually.................. well, once he gets the Trezor, that is.:I

Shadow Azelfland: no time to waste. let's do this.>:I

after test 23

BMW 3.0 CSL Hommage: *coughs* oh, my god. that's a buttload of Uranium. i really need a break.X_X *coughs*

Loraine: well, good thing i'm immune to toxic wastes and Uranium.:)

Silver Azelfland: the Hommage isn't, however. now what do we do?:I

Insurance guy: no worries. we got a backup Hommage for your tests. only this one doesn't talk.:)

Feuerrm: just one thing, though. why does the backup Hommage have the same upgrades apllied, just like the original Hommage's upgrades?:I

Shelby: *breaks the fourth wall* Gameloft logic, i guess?:I

after test 27

Alice: and here you go. the last upgrade on handling. *upgrades the handling to level 5* now you're ready to go.:)

BMW 3.0 CSL Hommage: thanks, Alice. man, it feels good to be back to normal, after that infected race.:)

after test 29

McLaren P1 boy: all right. like the boss of Vivendi said, i'll have to abduct the insurance guy, but not kill him. simply disguising as him might come in handy.>:)

Insurance guy: *gets abducted by P1 boy* WHAT THE-? SOMEONE HELP!O_O

McLaren P1 boy: shut your mouth! *knocks him out and ties him up* piece of cake.>:) *disguises himself as the insurance guy and locks the real insurance guy in the janitor's closet*

staff member: the insurance guy is coming!O_O

McLaren P1 boy (disguised as the insurance guy): ready for a safe test?:P

staff member: um, yes, sir.':I

Shadow Azelfland: *reads P1 boy's mind*

Shelby: *senses P1 boy's presence in his disguise* caught.>:I

Shadow Azelfland: it's definitely P1 boy.>:I

after test 30

McLaren P1 boy (disguised as the insurance guy): i'll be back after this test. you better not do anything too dangerous.:)

staff member: we won't.':I *P1 boy leaves*

Loraine: phew. that was close.:I

Silver Azelfland: you don't say.:I

Shelby: sooooooo, how do we deal with the fake insurance guy, if test 32 will be a race against the AI?:I

Loraine: i have an idea. *calls Emily on her phone* hello?:)

Emily: hey, what's up, Loraine?:)

Loraine: well, i suspect that the insurance guy is not the insurance guy we know.:I

Emily: you want to distract him while doing that AI race and then expose him, right? we can help.:)

Loraine: i knew i could count on you.:)

Emily: BUT. on one condition. Cynthia will also come with her sweet Knux. is that clear?:)

Loraine: sure. why not?:)

Emily: see ya in a few seconds.:) *hangs up*

Silver Azelfland: now we wait.:) *Emily, Cynthia and Knuckles teleport in front of everyone*

Emily: told ya.:)

Shadow Azelfland: okay, so what do you think we should use to distract that fake?>:I

Knuckles: i say we kick his butt to the next dimension!>:D

Silver Azelfland: NO! no violence. we need something that no one can resist.>:I

Cynthia: i have an idea. my sister and i can make muffins to distract him. that way, you can complete your AI race with no problem.:)

Emily: well, i taught my baby sis how to make muffins and cupcakes. it's going to be easy.:)

Shadow Azelfland: then, it's a plan.>:)

after completing lab 3

McLaren P1 boy (disguised as the insurance guy): phew. man, i am stuffed. so, what did i miss?:)

Shelby (being sarcastic): nothing special.:)

McLaren P1 boy (disguised as the insurance guy): why do i suspect that you're hiding something from me?>:I

Feuerrm: he's onto us.O_O

Shadow Azelfland: is it time to kick him out?>:I

Shelby: yes, it is.>:I

Loraine: *approaches P1 boy* LISTEN TO ME HERE, YOU FAKE PIECE OF S@#T! NO ONE TELLS US WHAT TO DO! THESE TESTS ARE STAFF ONLY! AND THE DANGER IS OUR THING! SO, GET YOUR F@#$ING ASS OUT OF HERE, BEFORE I KICK YOUR ASS, P1 BOY!>:(

McLaren P1 boy (disguised as the insurance guy): what are you talking about? i'm not that "P1 boy" you're talking about.':I

Shelby: WE KNOW IT'S YOU, P1 BOY! drop the act now and we might not need to kick you in the balls!>:(

McLaren P1 boy (disguised as the insurance guy): THIS IS BLASPHEMY! THIS IS MADNESS!>:(

Shadow Azelfland: MADNESS?! *Shadow Azelfland processing mode for 5 seconds* THIS! IS!! SBARRO SPARTA!!!>:( *Sparta kicks P1 boy on to the spring trap*

McLaren P1 boy: *gets launched, screams, ends up all the way to a land mine in Bosnia and somehow survives the land mine explosions*

Feuerrm: phew! that was a close one.O_O

Cynthia: well, i guess our job here is done.:) *teleports away*

meanwhile, in Bosnia

McLaren P1 boy: HOW DID THEY SEE THROUGH MY DISGUISE?! UGH! FIRST, AZELFLAND KICKS MY ASS WITH HIS DEVIL GENE AND NOW THIS?! THIS IS REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES!>:(

San Diego Harbor (3:35 PM)

TF2014: *sighs* i knew this championship had something to do with San Dicko Whorebor.>:(

Me: we'll get through it. no worries.:)

TheGoldenThunder: hey, Azelfland. good to see you again, buddy.:)

Me: hey, Thunder. long time, no see.:)

TheGoldenThunder: i see you brought TF2014 along.:)

TF2014: hey,Thunder. how are you, buddy?:)

TheGoldenThunder: i'm good.:)

Kri: hey, Azelfland. haven't seen you in a while.:)

Me: good to see you too, Kri.:)

TheGoldenThunder: and who are y- *gasps* NO! FRICKING! WAY! SONIC THE HEDGEHOG AND SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG?!O_O

Sonic: yep. the one and only.:)

Shadow: same here.:P

TheGoldenThunder: I'M A HUGE FAN OF YOURS!:D

Me: why is he acting like that?:I

Kri: he's a big fan of Sonic, you know.:)

TheHawtDawg1: i guess that makes sense.:P

Sonic: and who are you?:I

TheGoldenThunder: i'm TheGoldenThunder, but you can call me Thunder.:)

Shadow: hm. sounds like an edgy name to me. cool.:)

TheGoldenThunder: thanks.:)

Wendy: howdy, Thunder. guess what.:3

TheGoldenThunder: what?:I

Wendy: Sonic and i are now a couple.:3

TheGoldenThunder: i ship it.:)

Wendy: *giggles* thank you.:3

Renault Trezor: okay. i calculated our chances of winning. chances of winning are at 20%, unless we double boost from here on.>:I

Me: now, if you'll excuse us, Hanna and i have a tour to take down.:)

TheGoldenThunder: do you guys want to hang out, after the Grand Finale?:)

Hanna: sure thing.:)

after the Grand Finale (6:00 PM)

Kri: so, how have you been, Hanna?:)

Hanna: good. so, i hear Thunder now has the Twin Mill.:)

Kri: yep. after that poison chocolate incident, i took care of him for a couple days. now, he's okay.:)

Hanna: i'm glad to hear that.:)

Kri: so, how's Azelfland?:)

Hanna: he's also good. we got all the Hot Wheels cars, alongside the BMW S 1000 RR and the Pagani Huayra BC. oh, and we've also upgraded "the boat" a little bit.:)

Kri: sounds like you guys were having a hard time.:I

Hanna: yeah. so, anyway. wanna know what happened?:I

Kri: sure.:)

Hanna: you see, on the last 3 tours of the Twin Mill championship, the boss of Gameloft bet his company for half the money of Vivendi. if he won, Vivendi would pay them the money. if he lost, however, Vivendi would rule AsphaltLand. with Azelfland's skills, our brains and the help of the friendly crews, we took them down and made sure P1 boy would not win this. it was a guaranteed victory for sure.:)

Kri: cool. so, what about the Twin Mill?:I

Hanna: he's in Azelfland's garage and he's part of our team now.:)

Kri: nice.:)

Hanna: oh, and have you met my sister, Loraine?:)

Kri: your sister? i didn't know you had a sister.:I

Hanna: an elder sister to be exact. and man does she like gossips.:)

Kri: isn't this what we do right now?:I

Hanna: yeah. also, Azelfland got me a new outfit and it looks so good on me. the first time i wore this outfit was when i went to school two days after our six-month anniversary. and he liked it.................... even though he had an anime nosebleed.:3

a few weeks ago

Hanna from the past: hey, Loraine. does Azelfland think i'm hot in my new outfit?:3

Me from the past: *smiles, while having an anime nosebleed*

Loraine from the past: i'll take that as a yes.:3 *both girls laugh*

back to the present

Kri: so, anyway. it's been a while since we last met. it's going to be like old times.:)

Hanna: yeah. so, what do you think of my dress and my high-heeled mini boots?:3

Kri: looking good. how about me? what do you think of my dress and my boots?:3

Hanna: looking good as well. only thing missing is our makeup.:3

later that night (7:20 PM)

TheGolenThunder: *sees Kri in her Pink dress and Black boots* DAAAAAAAAAANG, you're really hot!:D

Kri: *giggles* why, thank you.:3

Me: well, what do you say we go for a walk?:3

Hanna: sure.:3

Kri: sounds good to me.:3

TheGoldenThunder: after you, ladies.:3

Kri: *giggles* thank you.:3

Hanna: you boys are such gentlemen.:3

a few minutes later

Hanna: so, how have you guys been?:)

TheGoldenThunder: good.:)

Me: so, you got the Twin Mill with you now. that's good to hear.:)

Kri: yeah. now, we're just chilling.:)

Me: though, if you wanted to, i could just help you with your problems.:)

Kri: so, anyway. the Valentine's day prom is coming closer and i really don't want to miss it.:3

Hanna: me neither. it would be so great.:3

Me: so, when is this exactly?:I

TheGoldenThunder: exactly on Valentine's day.:P

Me: oh. okay.:I

Kri: hey, remember that time we stole Azelfland's F40 and 675LT from the boss of Vivendi? good times.:)

Hanna: good times indeed.:)

Me: i'm glad we get to hang out together. two good friends with their girlfriends.:)

TheGoldenThunder: actually.................. well, i seem to have an affection towards Kri.:3

Kri: *giggles*

Me: and now the Hommage came back. i'm sure lab 4 will be a problem, but we'll be fine.:)

Kri: wait a minute. i thought you disliked the Hommage.:I

Hanna: he does, but if he gets it, his hate for it will go away.:)

Me: that's how i am.:)

TheGoldenThunder: i say that,, after the Trezor championship and right after this, Kri and will tag along with you guys.:)

Hanna: sure. we appreciate having the powers of sound and lightning with us.:)

Me: besides, you're really good friends of ours. *sees something in the distance* what is this?:I

Kri: looks like a horde of Vivendi's ninjas. stand back, boys. i'll show you how it's done.>:)

a horde of ninjas come attacking

Kri: *stands, while the Mortal Kombat themse plays on the background and jumps right to the action* MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAT!>:( *kicks three of the ninjas, one by one*

yellow ninja: WAKAWAKAWAKAWAKA-

Kri: *punches the ninja super fast* ORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! *somersaults the ninja into oblivion, then proceeds to beat the ninjas surrounding her* MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAT!>:( * punches the ground and knocks back the ninjas*

Me and TheGoldenThunder: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!O_O

Kri: *takes down the rest of the ninjas* phew. that's the last of them.>:I

Me:........................................ holy Jesus.O_O

Hanna: this reminds me of back on the Porsche 718 Boxster S championship.O_O

TheGoldenThunder: THAT. WAS. AWESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!:D *hugs Kri*

Kri: NEVER mess with the likes of me.>:)

Me: well, i'm calling it right now. Thunder and Kri will actually be a couple after this. ._.

Kri: actually................. we've been a couple since the Hussarya GT championship................. well, sort of.:I

TheGoldenThunder: i know it sounds weird, but i didn't want to tell you,because you might get mad at me.:(

Me: well, i'm not mad. i'm just happy you two live happily, like a happy couple. i hope you guys get married and have kids in the future.:3

Kri: *giggles* thanks. you too. you and Hanna are so cute together.:3

Hanna: awwwwwwwww, thanks, Kri.:3

Me: *pauses the action and breaks the fourth wall* well, guess Thunder will really hate this moment once he reads this and will get triggered. i know darn well it will happen.-_- *sighs and unpauses the action*

Me: well, it does seem like old times. the day after tommorow, we're off to Venice.:)

Kri: we'll tag along. besides, we're in this together.:)

Hanna: that's what i'm talking about.:)

TheGoldenThunder: we're back in the game!:D

and that's the end of episode 11 of season 5 of "car dialogues". we're getting closer to the end of the Hot Wheels update, but the Hommage R&D and the Trezor championship aren't over yet. it's time to step things up a notch. also, i know that Thunder won't like the last moment.

until next time.

-Azelfland.