User blog:Azelfland/Asphalt stories: the BXR Bailey Blade GT1 recruitment, TweakRacer's death (again) and the Mada RX-8 SE R&D

so, i got the Bailey yesterday, making it two EDDs in a row without spending tokens. despite the streak i had recently, it's going to end here because of the Mazda RX-8 SE R&D, due to the fact that i won't have time to take it down and the fact that i'll have to spend my tokens regardless.

this is episode 12 of season 8 of "Asphalt stories". there's also going to be a reference to the Avengers' Hulk. here goes:

at the R&D site

Mazda RX-8 SE: so YOU'RE the Azelfland everyone's talking about? you look different from what i heard.:I

Shadow Azelfland: actually, i'm Shadow Azelfland. the real Azelfland went for the Bailey.:P

Mazda RX-8 SE: oh.:I

My BMW M2 SE: hmmmmmmmm. you look familiar. ah, yes. you are the RX-8 SE. the upgrade of the original Mazda RX-8. nice to meet you.^_^

Mazda RX-8 SE: nice to meet you too.^_^

BMW M2 SE: you may not look like much, but i'm sure you'll be a fast one.:)

affter test 3

Shadow Azelfland: man, you're so painfully slow!>_<

Mazda RX-8 SE: i know. BUT with a few upgrades, we can fix that.:P

My Audi R8 E-Tron SE: good luck with that. because level 3 top speed and level 4 nitro require tokens.>:P

Mazda RX-8 SE: SERIOUSLY?! WHOEVER THOUGHT OF THE GODAWFUL IDEA TO PUT TOKEN-ONLY UPGRADES ON ME AND SOME OTHER CARS MUST REALLY HAVE A DEATH WISH!>:(

My DS Survolt: luckily, the first tests of labs 2 and 3 give a free upgrade each. it's highly suggested to use those on the token-only upgrades, as the final AI can be completed with 5505 2050.>:I

Shelby: got it.>:I

meanwhile, back in Paris, France

Me: okay. we just need to get through the second-to-last tier. here we go.>:I

My BXR Bailey Blade GT1: UGH!!X_X

My Aston Martin One-77: BAILEY, IS THAT YOU?!O_O

BXR Bailey Blade GT1: yes, it's me. listen. this helmet is the only thing that keeps the blackmailing signal alive. you have to go through this tier or till tiers 4 and 5 while doubling.X_X

My Ford Focus RS: we're listening.>:I

BXR Bailey Blade GT1: all of Paris has been blackmailed. in 8 days, Europe, Asia, the entire world will be blackmailed to do Vivendi's bidding and will be forced to trash talk about Gameloft! hurry!X_X

Vincent: DAMN IT!! SHE REVEALED OUR PLAN!>:(

TweakRacer: it's not MY fault that the helmet didn't function properly!>:(

My 2018 McLaren X2: we have to do this. for the Bailey's sake.>:I

Mario: let's-a go!>:I

Luigi: okie dokie.:I

the next morning, after getting over 77.000 Enduro Points

Me: YEEEEEEEEEEE-HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! i did it, i did it! WITH THE SKILLS! AND THE TRIUMPH! AND THE STRATEGY! TWO ENDURO DOUBLE DOWNS IN A ROW WITHOUT SPENDING TOKENS, BABY!! I DON'T CARE IF THE BAILEY IS USELESS!!! MMMMMMMMMM!! SO WORTH IT!! TAKE THAT, VIVENDI! YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON ME!!!>:D *does the Crash Bandicoot victory dance*

all the villains in the VVS: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!D:

Cynthia: that's what you get for messing with my friend's token stash, BAKA!>:(

Loraine: what does baka mean?:I

Emily: it means "moron" in Japanese. i know that because our parents speak Japanese and we learned from them. also, it's because my mom is named after Toyota's sub-brand.:P

Loraine: Lexus?:I

Emily: yep.:)

Vincent: i thought we had you this time!D:

Feuerrm: did you really think you could use the same tricks you used back in the Corvette Grand Sport EDD and the Zenvo ST1 EDD AND that the Bailey's upgrades would slow us down? HA! i don't think so!>:)

Aston Martin One-77: after my EDD, you wanted to use the Bailey's upgrade prices to your advantage, so you could beat us. but guess what.>:)

My Pagani Huayra BC: instead of just sitting there, we decided to smarten up.>:)

My McLaren 675LT: Azelfland sent me and the Huayra BC to farm the credits needed to fully upgrade the Bailey AND do a bit of PRO tuning for good measure.>:)

My Rimac Concept S: then you wanted to slow us down even more with your roadblock. what you didn't realize was that these roadblocks gave us more credits. so we used them to our advantage.>:)

BXR Bailey Blade GT1: *comes to her sense* and with the helmet being broken, your blackmailing signal is officially dead. and the world is saved from the likes of you.>:)

Vincent: and we would've gotten away with it too, if those roadblocks had done their job! oh, and you meddling kids too.>:(

Feuerrm: guess you were too dumb to realize that you can't beat us.>:)

TweakRacer: says the guy who's a crybaby when he's corrected!>:P

Feuerrm: DID YOU JUST SAY THE C WORD?!>:(

TweakRacer: .....................corrected?:I

Vincent: he's talking about crybaby. you can't call him a crybaby, you idiot.:P

Feuerrm: VINCENT!>:(

TweakRacer: why the crybaby not?!>:P

Feuerrm: TWEAKRACER!>:(

Bowser: dude, you just said crybaby again!O_O

Feuerrm: BOWSER!>:(

Entity303: crybaby.:P

Feuerrm: ENTITY303!>:(

TweakRacer: what's the big deal? it doesn't hurt anybody. crybaby.:P

Feuerrm: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET RUN OVER BY MY SHELBY GT500?!>:(

TweakRacer: how would YOU like to suck my balls?!>:)

Everyone: *gasps*

Feuerrm: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!>:(

TweakRacer: i-i'm sorry, i'm sorry. what i wanted to say was......... *pulls out a megaphone* HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, FEUERRM?!>:)

Feuerrm: *gets so angry that he transforms into a purple version of the Hulk and bounces TweakRacer all over the place*

Hanna: holy s@#t, dude.O_O

ShinnyShin: oh, he's mad now!O_O

Heihachi Mishima: deal with this fool.>:I

the Mishima Zaibatsu members: *shoot Feuerrm, but the bullets don't affect him*

EliteHectorX; hey, did i miss anyt- OH MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED TO FEUERRM?!O_O

TraceG11 and the Halo squad come in riding a train whille the Thomas and Friends theme in earrape plays

McLaren P1 boy: MASTER CHIEF?!:O

Master Chief John-117: GO GO GO!

Master Chief John-117,Fred-104, Kelly-087 and Linda-058: *shoot the Mishima Zaibatsu members*

Persephone: *joins them and pulls out two AK-47s* SUCK MY MUSHROOM *followed by rapid gunfire* TIIIIIIIIIIP, YOU, F@#$ING SON OF A BIIIIIIIIIIITCH!!>:(

Feuerrm (in Hulk mode): FEUERRM SMASH!!D:<

Shadow Azelfland: what did i miss?:I

Silver Azelfland: not much. Azelfland got the Bailey, Feuerrm now can tranform into the Hulk and the Halo squad is back.:P

Shadow Azelfland: then why are you in your batfox form?:I

Silver Azelfland: you'll see. also, you're in your batfox form as well.:P

Feuerrm: *gets back to normal* NEVER call me a crybaby EVER AGAIN!>:(

TweakRacer: I'M SORRY! I'LL NEVER CALL GAMELOFT EVIL AGAIN OR ATTACK YOU GUYS EVER AGAIN!! JUST DON'T KILL ME!O_O

Cyril: you know what, i'm sick and tired of you and your bullcrap!>:( *beats the everliving crap out of TweakRacer*

Feuerrm and EliteHectorX: whoa!:O

Me (making my Mortal Kombat announcer impression): FINISH HIM!>:)

Feuerrm and EliteHectorX: whoa!:O

Me: what?>:I

Cyril: *grabs TweakRacer by the neck and rips his head off*

Me (making my Mortal Kombat announcer impression): Cyril wins. flawless victory. FATALITY!>:)

Feuerrm and EliteHectorX: whoa!:O

Mike458: hey, where did Anais go?:I

Vincent: *takes the paper on the ground* "i kidnapped your wife while you weren't looking, sucker! deal with it! not sorry at all. -TransportFan2014". THAT DAMN MOTHERF@#$ER!! RETREAT!>:(

Shadow Azelfland: they're getting away!>:I

Silver Azelfland: let them go. we got what we came for.>:I

Shadow Azelfland: hey, where's everyone?:I

Silver Azelfland: damn it! we couldn't leave in time!>:(

Vivendi goon leader: sergeant!>:I

Silver Azelfland: huh?:I

a bunch of Vivendi goons surround Silver Azelfland

Vivendi goon leader: desertion is an offense punishable by court martial. give yourself up, soldier!>:I

Silver Azelfland: .................................>:)

Shadow Azelfland: oi.>:I *uppercuts the Vivendi goon to his right, then kicks the Vivendi goon to his left*

Silver Azelfland: *does a short whistle of surprise, then beats the crap out of the Vivendi goon with his Tae Kwon Do skills*

Vivendi goon leader: FIRE!>:(

Vivendi goons: *shooting like Stormtroopers*

Shadow Azelfland and Silver Azelfland hide behind a pick-up truck, followed by rapid gunfire

Silver Azelfland: Shadow Azelfland. remember, i kicked their asses back in the EDD...................................... hey. you listening?:I

Shadow Azelfland: hm?:I

Silver Azelfland: i'll give you a chance to even the score at the next EDD. you better show up.:)

Shadow Azelfland: ............................................:)

a rocket blows up the pick-up truck

Vivendi goon leader: cease fire!>:I *sees that Shadow Azelfland and Silver Azelfland escaped and gets angry*

back at the RX-8 SE R&D, after test 7

Me: WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!:D

Mazda RX-8 SE: wow. you really are the real deal.^_^

My Mercedes-Benz SLK 55 AMG SE: told you.^_^

the next day

Me: hey, R8 tyke. fancy seeing you here.:)

R8 tyke: good to see you too.^_^

Me: so, how's it going? getting there, i suppose?:)

Audi R8 tyke: yep. and i suppose you're starting lab 2, right?:)

Me: yep. also, Feuerrm got a new garage that's based on the real life stats of the cars.:P

Audi R8 tyke: *breaks the fourth wall* are you implying that Asphalt 8 and Asphalt 9 take place in the same universe?:I

Me: yep.:P

Audi R8 tyke: ............................O_O

Hanna: mind blowing, right?:)

Audi R8 tyke: tell me about it.O_O

Feuerrm: it's true. but i ran into trouble while on my way back.:I

Hanna: what kind of trouble?:I

yesterday

Vincent: *gets out of his Arash AF10 and rushes towards Feuerrm's wrecked LaFerrari* SIT DOWN!.......... how have you been?>:)

Feuerrm: um, good.:I

Vincent: it's time to settle a little score from Paris, you know.>:I

Feuerrm: uh-oh.O_O

Vincent: *hears the sound of incoming cars* hm?>:I

Feuerrm (narrating the flashback): and that's when i met him. Hipida. he had a Bugatti Chiron unlike i've ever seen. and i'm pretty sure he was the one working with Vincent at this point. guess i'll have to deal with him. however, he might come back in one of his cars in AsphaltLand to take you guys down.>:I

the flashback ends

Hanna: what about your LaFerrari?:I

Feuerrm: i tranported it back to the garage. for the second garage, i have my Lancer for now.>:I

Me: oh.:I

Hanna: we'll do whatever it takes to get Hipida. no worries.>:I

My Lotus Evora Sport 410: even without a second garage, we can help you. *breaks the fourth wall* besides, Asphalt 8 and Asphalt 9 take place in the same universe.:P

Feuerrm: okay, i guess that makes sense.:P

Diana: i don't know how TF2014 will react to this kind of new though.:I

Danny: only time will tell.:P

Jake: listen, Alice. there's something i need to tell you.:I

Alice: what is it?:I

Jake: do you remember me? your twin brother?:I

Alice: WHAT?! WAIT-WAIT-WAIT-WAIT-WAIT!!! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!O_O

Jake: i knew you'd react like this. here.:) *shows Alice a picture of him and Alice when they were babies*

Alice: *gasps* is this us? when we were babies?:O

Jake: yep. remember when we were born?:)

Alice: Jake.................. my twin brother.:') *hugs Jake*

Jake: i'm glad you remembered. i'm sorry for leaving you and Wendy out in the cold, when i possessed R8 tyke.:(

Alice: it's okay, twin bro.:)

Wendy: welcome back, little bro.:3

Jake: it's been a long time.^_^

Wendy: it sure has. and you two were the best birthday gift anyone could ever have.:3

17 years ago

Young Wilhelm: come on. push. the baby's almost here.>:I

Young Mercedes: *screams of agony*

baby Alice comes out with her first cry

Young Lorenzo: it's a girl. okay, let's go with the next one.:)

Young Mercedes: oh, god. here we go again.O_O

a few minutes later, baby Jake comes out with his first cry

Young Lorenzo: it's a boy. you guys got twins. congratulations.^_^

Young Wilhelm: awwww, look at them. they're so cute.:3

Young Mercedes: and they'll be like their sister soon enough.:3

Baby Alice and Baby Jake: mama. papa. sister.:3

Everyone: ........................d'awwwwwwwww.:3

Young Mercedes: they said their first words.:'3

Young Wilhelm: so adorable.:3

Young Mercedes: so, what do you think we should name them?:3

Young Wilhelm: how about Jake and Alice?:3

Young Mercedes: perfect.:3

Baby Alice and Baby Jake: *giggle*

Young Mercedes: awwwww. who's mommy's cute little babies? you are. yes, you are. koochy-koochy-koo.:3

back to the present

Jake: i can also help. i'll upgrade R8 tyke's cars. okay?:)

Alice: okay. let me know if you need any help.:)

Jake: you got it, twin sis.^_^

meanwhile, back at Vivendi's sixth base in Colorado, USA

Azelfland.exe: ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?! TWO ENDURO DOUBLE DOWNS IN A ROW AND YOU NINCOMPOOPS COULDN'T MESS WITH HIS TOKEN STASH?!>:(

AHGT.exe: WORSE YET, YOU LET SILVER AZELFLAND AND SHADOW AZELFLAND GET AWAY!! OUR OWN CREATIONS ARE AGAINST US, ALL BECAUSE YOU WERE STUPID ENOUGH TO MAKE THEM GOOD INSTEAD OF EVIL!>:(

Azelfland.exe: AND AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, YOUR WIFE GOT KIDNAPPED!!>:(

Vincent: i can explain!O_O

Azelfland.exe: explain yourself, then, Vincent!>:(

AHGT.exe: more like "WIMPCENT"!>:P

Azelfland.exe: good one.^_^

Vincent: Azelfland smartened up and tricked us into thinking we got him! but in truth, his main farming cars got the credits needed to MAX the Bailey!O_O

AHGT.exe: go on!>:I

Mike458: then, after getting lots of points, they MAX PROed her with the credits they got as rewards! it's as if Gameloft was helping them to beat us!O_O

Azelfland.exe: THEY OUTSMARTED US AGAIN?! SON OF A BITCH!>:(

Vincent: no matter. he still has to get through the RX-8 SE R&D and he won't make it. he'll give up knowing that he'll need 10 Wankel Rotary engines to beat it.>:)

Mike458: while the R&D only gives 8. great thinking.>:)

all the villains in the VVS: AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!>:D

and that ends episode 12 of season 8 of "Asphalt stories". hopefully things will go smoothly in the R&D.

until next time.

-Azelfland.