User blog:Azelfland/Asphalt stories: the end of the Special Edition shenanigans

as the title says, i got the second Special Edition i was going for.

after getting through the R&D, the R8 E-Tron Special Edition is finally added to my collection. and then i decided to have a bit of fun in multiplayer with my 1629 R8 E-Tron Special Edition, by winning two races in mulitplayer. smoed 4 MP4/8s, a Vulcan and a Camaro in two races. and man was it fun. now i'm waiting for the Ariel Atom V8 and the bikes to be released. so now, i get to relax a bit and take a break.

this is episode 5 of season 6 of "Asphalt stories". here goes:

after test 49

the boss of Vivendi: well, Azelfland. now it's time for you to choose. lose and we'll take over the world together. win and i'll deal with you and your team. so, what's it going to be?>:)

Me: YOU DICKHEAD!! WE WON'T LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THIS!>:(

the boss of Vivendi: i knew you'd respond like that. but i know you won't win.>:)

the Conglomerate head: all right, everyone. this AI we developed can beat human racers without breaking a sweat. even the champions won't stand a chance. it's time for a little demonstration.^_^

Hanna: i know you'll do the right thing. don't let him get to you.:I

Diana: I KNEW something was wrong! we're cheering for you. go get 'em!:)

Me: thanks, guys. i'll win this. for our sake. and for the fate of the world.>:)

on test 50, the test for the fate of the world

Me: okay, R8 E-Tron Special Edition. how tough is the AI?>:I

My Audi R8 E-Tron Special Edition: calculating the power level of the AI....... *calculates the AI's level* calculations complete. starting analysis....... *analyzes the AI* analysis complete. the AI has been positively identified. the AI's racing power level is over 9000. the AI is ranked as level 3A. retreiving biographical data.....>:I

Me: cancel data. chances of winning?>:I

Audi R8 E-Tron Special Edition: chances are that it's a guaranteed victory, since we're triple boosted.>:I

Me: i like those chances. let's rock!>:) *the race begins*

Audi R8 E-Tron Special Edition: * triple nitroes* we're off to a good start already!>:)

Me: yeah, we are. *enters the subway* now let's go!>:)

Audi R8 E-Tron Special Edition: we're killing it right now!>:D

near the spiral turn

Me: here comes the Sector 8 rip-off turn!>:I *takes it like a champ*

Audi R8 E-Tron Special Edition: phew! made it in one piece.:) *goes through the straight, takes the turns and finishes first*

Me: YEEEEEEESS!! SUCK IT!! I DON'T CARE IF I SPENT ANY TOKENS!! MMMMM! SO WORTH IT!!>:D

the boss of Vivendi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY MONEY!!!!;_;

buyer 1: man, what a rip-off.>:(

buyer 2: let's get outta here. we ain't giving a single penny for a piece of s@#t.>:( *all the buyers leave*

the Conglomerate head: YOU SON OF A BITCH! WE TOLD YOU TO LOSE! NOW YOU'LL PAY THE PRICE!>:(

Cynthia: not if I can do anything about it! no more miss nice girl!>:( *beats the everliving crap out of the Conglomerate head*

Me: *pauses the action and breaks the fourth wall* WARNING! this scene contains lots of violence, gore and a reference from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. viewer discretion is adviced.O_O *unpauses the action*

Shadow (making his Mortal Kombat Announcer impression): FINISH HIM!>:)

Sonic and Knuckles: whoa!:O

Shadow: what?>:I

Cynthia: *hits the Conglomerate head with a hammer to the head, hangs him on to a hook, then uses her chainsaw to slice his body in half*

Shadow (making his Mortal Kombat announcer impression): Cynthia wins. flawless victory. FATALITY!>:)

Sonic and Knuckles: whoa!:O

Cynthia: i'm not cleaning that up.:P

the boss of Vivendi: that's not possible! i was supposed to be rich!D:

Me: did you really think that i would betray my team like that? ha! i don't think so!>:)

Shadow Azelfland: we had you figured out from the start. you were going to use us to rule the world. such low tactics.>:)

Aris Cheese God: *comes in* i was the one that warned them about your plans. we weren't going to let you get away with an AI of one of the best multiplayer cars for YOUR purposes. and with the information i leaked to them, we foiled your plans once again!>:)

the boss of Vivendi: i would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids!>:(

Diana: i love it when he says that. also, suck on this.>:) *gives the boss of Vivendi the middle finger*

the boss of Vivendi: WHY YOU LITTLE................. NO ONE LIKES A JACKET OVER A T-SHIRT AND YOU'RE NOTHING BUT STUPID, YOU BLONDE!>:(

Diana: *gasps and starts crying*

Danny: *gets steaming mad* NO ONE INSULTS MY GIRL AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!>:(

the boss of Vivendi: *pulls out a revolver and aims at Aris Cheese God* guess you never learn. i'll shoot your little friend here for being a snitch.>:)

Shadow Azelfland: OH NO YOU DON'T!>:( *takes the bullet*

Shelby: SHADOW AZELFLAND! NO!O_O

Persephone: YOU MONSTER!>:(

Shadow Azelfland: *struggles to get up and gets healed*

suddenly, Shadow Azelfland's Devil Gene activates

Shadow Azelfland: *transforms into his devil form and roars* YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG GUY! DO YOU KNOW WHAT AWAITS YOU FOR INSULTING MY GIRLFRIEND'S SISTER?!>:(

the boss of Vivendi: a kick in the nuts? ._.'

Shadow Azelfland (with the Devil Gene activated): NO. DEATH!>:( *beats the everliving rap out of the boss of Vivendi and gets ready to kill him with his bare hand*

Wendy: don't kill him!O_O

Flora: you have a heart of gold. just spare his life. this wouldn't be what TweakRacer would want.:(

Alice: he would never want his creation to kill one of the guys that created him. it's not worth it. so, please. please spare his life.:(

Shadow Azelfland: *gets back to normal, sighs and backs off* fine. i'll spare you. but only for now. you should thank TweakRacer for giving me a good side. BUT to make sure you'll pay for insulting my girlfriend's sister........>:I *stomps the boss of Vivendi right in the nuts*

the boss of Vivendi: *screams in pain*

Shadow: you did the right thing, buddy.:)

Shadow Azelfland: i know. this wouldn't be what TweakRacer wants.:(

Hanna: let's get out of here.>:I

McLaren P1 boy: what happened?!O_O

the boss of Vivendi: *recovers from the nut stomp* Shadow Azelfland was going to kill me, but he spared my life and stomped me in the nuts. i can still feel it. ow.X_X

McLaren P1 boy: and they were onto us the whole time.>:I

the boss of Vivendi: yes. now............. i want every single unit after team Azelfland.>:I

McLaren P1 boy: everyone?>:I

the boss of Vivendi: EVERYOOOOOONE!!!!>:(

on the way to Azelfland's garage

Audi R8 E-Tron Special Edition: guys, there's Vivendi members coming!O_O

Me: in what cars?>:I

Loraine: i see them too. there are Cobras chasing us!O_O

Hanna: OH, COME ON! I THOUGHT TF2014 GOT RID OF THEM ALL!>:(

Me: AND there's 20 of them chasing us! we'll lose them once we enter Barcelona!>:I

a few minutes later

TF2014: are you guys still alive?:I

Me: still alive, still pissed! TF2014, the boss of Vivendi is on my list now!>:(

TF2014: okay, so if i'm not wrong, your list now has P1 boy for betraying you, Vasilev for betraying you, Nova for being a thot, Holtzman for trying to crush you, the boss of Vivendi for trying to make you betray us and TweakRacer for stealing your favorite early and initial techs that one time.:I

Me: he betrayed me!>:(

TF2014: fine. fine. he betrayed you too. i'm starting to sense a theme here. i'll see you once you get out of that scrape.>:I

after getting to Barcelona and in Azelfland's garage

My Lamborghini Sesto Elemento: thank god you guys are okay! so, who's the new chick?:)

Hanna: everyone, this is the R8 E-Tron Special Edition.^_^

My Audi R8 E-Tron: who ARE you?!O_O

Audi R8 E-Tron Special Edition: i'm you, but stronger.:P

Aris Cheese God: glad i could help. if you need anything, let me know.^_^ *drives away with his Hussarya GT*

Shadow Azelfland: well, time for he Charged Showdown on Tag Racing and the MAX race of the R8 E-Tron Special Edition. leave those to me.>:)

after the two aftermentioned races and 2 multiplayer races with the R8 E-Tron Special Edition

My Arrinera Hussarya GT: damn. you killed them out there. just like i do.:)

Audi R8 E-Tron Special Edition: that ought to teach them to never mess with the likes of me.>:)

TweakRacer: hey, Azelfland. i'm sorry for using your favorite early and initial techs on the CLA 45 AMG that one time. i didn't know you would need the credits.:(

Me: it's okay, buddy. i'm just glad you're honest.:)

TweakRacer: that's it? just like that?:I

Me: yeah. besides, we're friends.^_^

TweakRacer: i know.:)

Me: now if you'll excuse me, i got some mastery races to take on.^_^

in Diana's room

Danny: *comes in* hey.:I

Diana: what do you want?;_;

Danny: i wanted to talk to you. don't listen to what the boss of Vivendi says. you're a great girl.:3

Diana: r-really?:'(

Danny: yeah. your fashion sense is really awesome. and you're really beautiful the way you are.:3

Diana: awwwwwwww.:'3

Danny: and you're very smart. i know you can accomplish a lot.:3

Diana: awwwwwwww.:'3

Danny: *pets her hair* shhhhhhhhh. everything's gonna be okay. don't cry. i'm here for you.:3

Diana: *stops crying* thanks, Danny. you're such a gentle boy.:3

Danny: anytime. so, um............. wanna go for a walk?:3

Diana: *giggles* sure.:3

and that's the end of episode 5 of season 6 of "Asphalt stories". i'm looking forward to the future events AND the bikes............. even though i'm STILL afraid of the knockdown glitch on the bikes.

until next time.

-Azelfland.