User blog:Azelfland/Car dialogues: a Bone Shaking recruitment and the BMW S 1000 RR R&D

yep. it happened, everyone.

got myself that Bone Shaker. and the strangest thing is that before we get the Tuono, we got that new BMW S 1000 RR. okay, seriously. what the heck, Gameloft? i thought you were going to release the Aprilia bike before we get the BMW bike. and basically, i was expirementing with the title, by mistakingly clicking it, instead of the pencil icon. should've seen that coming.

this is episode 5 of season 5 of "Car dialogues". here goes:

Grand Canyon, Vivendi's second base of operations

the boss of Vivendi: so, how's Project Silver going?>:I

Craig: it's going well, sir. a sliver version of Azelfland is here. he will take him down for us. we combined Azelfland's DNA with McLaren P1 boy's DNA.>:)

the boss of Vivendi: good. now, how's the development of the clone?:I

Craig: he's already done. we got something good for once. and we made him 2 years older than the real deal.:) *empties the tank with Silver Azelfland inside it*

Silver Azelfland: *wakes up*

the boss of Vivendi: ah, you're finally awake, my creation. welcome to the family.:D

Silver Azelfland: you may be my creator, BUT I WILL NEVER OBEY THE LIKES OF YOU!>:(

the boss of Vivendi: WHAT?! WHY YOU LITTLE.......................!>:(

Silver Azelfland: *beats the everliving crap out of the Vivendi members* just so you know, NO ONE tells ME what to do! and also, suck on this!>:) *gives the boss of Vivendi and Craig the middle finger and escapes*

Craig: well, that didn't go as expected. ._.

meanwhile, in Dubai

TheHawtDawg1: hey guys. you have to see this?:I

Me: huh?:I

Loraine: what is it?:I

TheHawtDawg1: the radar caught someone. and they're besides us right now.:I

Silver Azelfland: you do realize that i'm right here.:/

Hanna: WHAT THE-? HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?! AND WHO ARE YOU?!O_O

Silver Azelfland: i'm Silver Azelfland. and basically, i'm Azelfland's second clone.:I

Hanna: oh. the name's Hanna the Batfox. this is my sister, Loraine the Batfox.:)

Silver Azelfland: nice to meet you. and i know Azelfland and Shadow Azelfland. i was created the same way Shadow Azelfland was created, only it's McLaren P1 boy's DNA with yours.:I

Me: makes sense.:I

Silver Azelfland: oh, and Loraine, nice earrings.:3

Loraine: *giggles* thank you. :3

leader of the bullies: GOTCHA!>:D *pins Loraine*

Everyone: ........................................... ._.

Hanna: WHO IN THE-?! ISN'T THAT THE LEADER OF THE BULLIES?!O_O

Shadow Azelfland: hey, don't look at me. i didn't let him in.>:(

Loraine: *kicks the leader of the bullies in the groin and slaps him* STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU CREEP!>:(

leader of the bullies: *punches Loraine in the belly*

Loraine: *cries*

Silver Azelfland: NO MAN PUNCHES MY GIRL AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!>:( *beats the s@#t out of the leader of the bullies*

Shadow Azelfland: *makes a good impression of the announcer from Mortal Kombat* FINISH HIM!>:)

TheHawtDawg1, TheGoldenThunder and TransportFan2014: WHOA!:O

Shadow Azelfland: what?:I

Me: i'll handle this.>:I * proceeds to use his psychic powers on the leader of the bullies and kills him by making his head explode*

Shadow Azelfland: *makes a good impression of the announcer from Mortal Kombat once again* FATALITY!>:)

TheHawtDawg1, TheGoldenThunder and TransportFan2014: WHOA!:O

Silver Azelfland: i'm not cleaning that up. but i'll just get rid of him for good. *snaps his fingers and summons an Ultra Wormhole underneath the dead leader of the bullies, which sucks him in* that should do the trick. now, can you leave me and Loraine alone? i need to cheer her up.:I

Hanna: sure. we were planning to get to the tour anyway.:)

after the sixth qualifier

the announcer: this is it, folks! the final Grand Finale of the Bone Shaker championship! whos' gonna win? who's gonna go home? let's find out!:D

Hanna: are you ready to shake our opponents' bones?>:)

My Hot Wheels Bone Shaker: yep. LET'S GET 'EM!>:)

at the final straight of lap 2

the announcer: oh, it looks like Hanna ran out of nitro, but she decides to not zig-zag and move on without it. *Hanna and the Bone Shaker finish first* AND LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE CHAMPIONSHIP IS OVER! WHAT A RACE! TEAM AZELFLAND ONCE AGAIN WINS ANOTHER CHAMPIONSHIP! AND OF COURSE, WITHOUT USING THE NITRO IN THE LAST FEW SECONDS OF THE RACE! they now got the Bone Shaker. that's it for this championship. the next one will be the Twin Mill championship. see you in the next championship, folks!:D

Shadow Azelfland: hey, i hate to ruin your celebration, but a letter just arrived.:I

Me: let me read it. *reads the paper* "to Azelfland: congratulations on getting the Bone Shaker. since you got the papers with the rights of ownership, come to the abandoned gas station in Nevada alone. we'll give you our seal of approval. -Craig Johnes.". i suspect a trap, but i'm going in. get the Bone Shaker to the garage i'll meet up with you later.>:I

Hanna: got it.>:I

at the abndoned gas station in Nevada

Craig: *comes out of the Impreza* Azelfland. i hope we didn't keep you waiting.:)

Me: nah, i was just chilling.:)

Craig: ha. i bet you were. are those the rights of ownership? hand them over.:) * takes them and gives them the seal of approval*

Me: hey, is everything cool now?:I

the boss of Vivendi: *takes the shovel out of the trunk* i dunno, Azelfland. Craig?:I

Craig: our boy's done good.:)

the boss of Vivendi: *strikes the traitorous Vivendi member with the shover* YOU SNITCH PIECE OF S@#T! YOU VATO ASSHOLE! YOU SOLD US OUT! *gives the shovel to Azelfland* time to dig, Azelfland. you, take care of things.>:)

Craig: where are you going?:I

the boss of Vivendi: to get drunk and get laid. you got a problem with that?>:(

Craig: no, sir. relax.:I

the boss of Vivendi: good. i'll see you back in the base. and i'll see YOU, in the next life.................... Azelfland.>:) *drives away*

five minutes later

Craig: okay. that's good. that's deep enough for two.>:I

Me: CJ, the boss of Vivendi is just using you. he's using all of us. and you're the next one he's gonna silence.:(

Craig: SHUT THE F@#K UP, SCUM! AND IT'S CRAIG JOHNES TO YOU! *shoots the traitorous Vivendi member, making him fall in the hole* F@#$ING DIE!>:( *runs away and gets in a nearby 2015 Ford Mustang*

Me: *gets in his Donkervoort D8 GTO and chases after Craig* hey, Craig! you know the boss of Vivendi is gonna rub you out too!O_O

Craig: Azelfland, you got it all wrong, pal. the boss of Vivendi was the one who saves you. every time i wanted to kill you, he'd find an excuse to keep you alive. now, it's up to me and i'm not a f@#$ing soft touch! so, how's Hanna? i always had a thing for her. the boss of Vivendi and i got some shots of you and her going at it like a couple chihuahuas. man, does she put out like a pro!:D

Me: SCREW YOU, CRAIG! i know what you're trying to do, and you're not crawling inside my head!>:(

Craig: i'm not kidding! the best stake-out i've ever done! Azelfland, you should've seen your mom before she was buried. she was in a real mess. most of her face was hanging off.:)

Me: DON'T F@#$ING TALK ABOUT MY MOM!>:(

Craig: the boys, you know, they were fooling around with her at the scene, you know. touching her, joking around and s@#t.:)

Me: F@#K YOU, JOHNES! F@#K YOU! *knocks down the Mustang and makes Craig come out of it flying, making him fall on the driver's door with his back, while bleeding* not feeling so full of yourself now, huh?>:(

Craig: *coughs* yeah, well them's the breaks........... f@#k.....................X_X

Me: any last requests?>:(

Craig: yeah. *coughs* can i f@#k Hanna?X_X

Me: you're an asshole to the end. PUNK MOTHERF@#$ER!>:( *stomps Craig and kills him*

back at Azelfland's garage

Me: phew! i'm back.:)

Hanna: what about Craig?:I

Me: he's dead. no need to worry about him now.:)

My Pagani Huayra BC: thank god. man, i hate Vivendi for trying to kill us!>:(

My Lamborghini Sesto Elemento: everyone does.:I

TheHawtDawg1: well, the BMW bike is coming next.:I

Me: wait. the Be Em Ve (German Pronounciation of BMW) bike? i thought Gameloft would give us the Aprilia instead.:I

Hanna: don't you mean Bee Em Double U?:I

Me: we Greeks use the German pronouciation more that the English pronounciation. and i'm more used to the German pronounciation than the English pronounciation.:P

Hanna: seems legit.:I

the next day

Me: hey, Hanna. since this is our sixth anniversary, do you want to hang out with me?:3

Hanna: sure.:3

later that night (7:00 PM)

Me: *sees Hanna in her Yellow dress and Black high heels* wow. you're so cute and beautiful.:3

Hanna: *giggles* thank you.:3

Me: so, wanna go for a walk?:3

Hanna: sure.:3 *they both start holding hands*

Me: so, how was your day?:)

Hanna: it was good. you?:3

Me: i had to study history for the day after tommorow, but i'm good. so, tell me. when your birthday?:3

Hanna: mine's on the 15th of January, alongside Loraine. what about you?:3

Me: mine's on the 9th of January.:)

Hanna: and before you ask, Loraine's fine. SIlver Azelfland healed her. and now, they're best friends and in love with each other. kinda like me, only she's sometimes sassy.:P

Me: okay. so, um, wanna sit on the bench?:3

Hanna: sure.:3 *they both sit on the bench*

2 hours and 40 minutes of talking later

Me: man, it sure was fun t- *Azelfland's phone rings. F@#$ING RING RING RING*

Hanna: hm?:I

Me: hold on. *answers the phone* hello?:I

Shadow Azelfland: sorry. bad timing?:I

Me: make it quick.:I

Shadow Azelfland: so, Silver Azelfland just so happened to be equally skilled with us AND he's good at driving both cars and bikes, even if he's 2 years older than us. the second test was no problem for him and we got through test 3. oh, and when you guys got your date over with, meet us at the labs, okay?:) *hangs up*

Hanna: who was it?:I

Me: Shadow Azelfland. now, where was i? oh, right. Hanna, i want you to have this new outfit.:3 *gives her an Orange T-shirt with a Yellow happy face printed on it, Black-and-Red-striped fingerless gloves, a pair of small Purple jeans, a pair of Yellow socks and a pair of Pink running shoes with a big white stripe in the middle*

Hanna: *gasps* for me? awwwwwww. you're so gentle and kind.:3 *her seventh fox tail grows*

Me: i guess that means our bond is close to being unbreakable.:3

Hanna: yeah. *sighs* i love you.:3

Me: i love you too.:3 *they both make out*

Hanna: *as they both stop making out* well, i guess my gift to you is going through everything without breaking the fourth wall for once.:3

Me: wow. that.............. that's so sweet of you. thank you:3

Hanna: anytime. so, since we're getting closer to being young adults, what do you say we go back, get to my room and get naughty?>:3

Me: if you're trying to say that you want me to make love with you, i'm in.>:3

Hanna: now starts the real fun.>:3

and that's the end of episode 5 of season 5 of "car dialogues". sorry for the delay. i had a lot going on right now. also, be sure to check my top 5 worst moments in my Asphalt career.

until next time.

-Azelfland.