User blog:Audi R8 tyke/Asphalt Stories Season 2 Episode 3-Where the Dreams DeZir

OK, I PLAYED A PUN ON THIS. "DEZIR" SOUNDED LIKE "DESIRE", SO I GET ON WITH IT.

Yesterday, I got 3-YES 3-of my favourite cars-the F40, the Evantra and the Alpine Celebration. Let's see how that started. Hope you all enjoy it!

WARNING! THERE ARE SOME NSFW SCENES GOING ON HERE THAT IS DEEMED TO MUCH (BY ME). VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED!

In a challenge of the Zenvo EDD, Tenerife...

Me: DAMN THIS GOLF IS NICE IMO.

Meanwhile...

Vivendi goon 1: AIM AT THE TIRES! NOT THE COCKPIT! WE NEED TO CATCH THE AUDI R8 F*CKER!

Vivendi sniper: STFU, idiot, I got my own wey.

(The sniper shot my Golf's tires)

Me: WTF IS GOING ON! MY CAR LOST CONTROL! O_O

(My Golf and I rolled down a cliff)

3 minutes later (In my perspective)...

Me: Ugh, where am I, why I can only see white? Am I dead?

My R8 LMS Ultra: HEY R8 TYKE! YOU'RE HERE!

Me: R8? WHY ARE YOU HERE?

My R8 LMS Ultra: Dunno, maybe we're dead? I also went down that cliff and wrecked.

(Suddenly, Mike458's evil laugh)

Me: It's...

My R8 LMS Ultra: That Mike guy again... -_-

Mike458: Well well well, if it's not Azefland's son of a bitch. >=)

Me: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME! >=|

Mike458: RACE WITH ME WITH 2 OF MY CARS, IF YOU WIN, I LET YOU AND THE CARS ESCAPE HERE. OTHERWISE, I'LL KILL YOU AND STRIP YOUR CAR.

My R8 LMS Ultra: C'mon, what car is in my team?

Mike458: This two! (Points to an F40 and a Mazzanti Evantra)

My Ferrari F40: FINALLY SOMEONE TO SAVE US!

My Mazznti Evantra: Help us! We're captured by this maniac!

Mike458: STFU, IDIOTS! Well, here is the scene-(snaps his finger to reveal a Barcelona scene) AND here's the opponents. (Snaps his finger to reveal tha AIs)

My Ferrari F40: IT'S NOT FAIR! THEY ALL DRIVE S-CLASS CARS! >=(

Mike458: STFU, F40, no one liked Ferraris anyways.

My F40: SCREW YOU! >=(

Me: IT'S NO USE MOANING, F40, THE ONLY WAY WE NEED TO ESCAPE IS TO WIN! >=|

(Later, I finished the race with a lap time of 1:16:421)

Mike458: GODDAMMIT! I CAN GET IT AWAY IF IT WASN'T YOU, THE MEDDLING 10TH GRADER!

Me: Give me the cars and let us get the F*CK outta here. =|

Mike458: HOWEVER, I STILL WON! (Encloses the F40 and the Evantra in their cages)

My F40: YOU BASTARD! D=<

Me: WAIT, THE F40 priced higher, despite the car is 140,000 credits now... ANYWAYS, I'll get you two! (Throws 528,000 credits to the cages and broke them)

My F40: CYA, SUCKER!

My Evantra: You are a one big jerk. =P

Mike458: C'mon, why do you guys ALWAYS win us, while we don't even want to?

My R8 LMS Ultra: (Triggered) WINNING YOU IS OUR JOB. R8 TYKE, FINISH HIM! (pauses the action and breaks the 4th wall) I know what you thinking, real life R8 tyke.

Real life me: You know what? I made the following scene too much. (resumes the action)

Me: (Sneaks up to Mike458) You know what you get when you trigger me?

Mike458: OH C'MON! THAT'S ALWAYS THE NUT SHOT!

Me: Not me. TRY THIS-NUT WHACK! >=D (Grabs a random pipe and whack it towards Mike458's nuts)

Mike458: (screams in pain and lays on the ground) OOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWCCCCHHHHHHHHH! X_X

Me: If that's wasn't enough, try this. >=D (pokes my hand into Mike458's pants)

Mike458: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? O_O

Me: YOU'LL GET YOUR NUT SQUEEZED! (Squeezes Mike458's nuts)

Mike458: (lets out the Wilhelm Scream and passes out) X_X

Me: AND HE'S DONE! >=)

My R8 LSM Ultra: R8 tyke wins.

Me: WAIT. THERE'S A PORTAL OUTSIDE HERE THAT CONNECTS US TO TENERIFE!

My R8 LMS Ultra: GUYS, QUICK AND GET BACK TO REAL LIFE! (Runs into the portal)

Me and my cars: Right away! (Enters the portal)

3 hours later, back in Azefland's base...

Azefland: So I see you saved new cars. =)

Me: True.

My F40: Hey guys! I know the reason why I costed much more! (Opens the boot and revals an Alpine Celebration BP)

Me: THAT'S MY LAST BP TO THE ALPINE! Alice, I need your help.

Alice: Yeah?

Me: Help me to assemble the Alppine, please.

Alice: Right away!

SO HERE IT IS- EPISODE 3 OF MY ASPHALT STORIES SEASON 2. CYA NEXT BLOG POST!