User blog:TransportFan2014/Asphalt Stories: Mo' Events, Mo' Problems

Synonymus with "Mo' Money Mo' Problems", plus events in A8 ALWAYS cost some money.

(In London, after one of the RX8 SE R&D tests)

Me: Well, I hope 5505 3050 is enough.... :/

R&D technician: Just do your best. If you did not make it, no worries. This R&D is kind of rigged....

Me: Oh thanks for your concern. Right now I am worrying about the RX8 SE- for the Fenyr R&D.... I am pretty sure I can get that one.

R&D technician: Just go and relax, okay? Stress ain't helping you with a rigged R&D.

Me:You got it. (As I leave, I got a signal hinting the location of the TVR Sagaris)

Me: Okay. I will use this to kidnap Anais. That's for her for taking Sarah away while I was out of home. >:|

(When I reach the train tracks)

Me: Weird. I thought the map says the Sagaris is here? :/ (checks the map and sees an arrow pointing downwards) How? :/

(I took 20 minutes to discover the Sagaris' actual location)

Me: There you are. What ya doing here?

My Sagaris: I had to hide. I am currently having part of a document of what Vivendi is planning to do.

Me: The other half?

My Sagaris: No idea....

Me: Whatever. Half may be useful. (As I enter my Sagaris and drive it to Nurburgring to use the Lockheed C-141 that I recently rebuilt)

(At Nurburgring)

My Sagaris: Isn't that your Venom GT? :/

Me: Yes it is. Got punished for uploading NSFW stuff on the internet.

My Sagaris: Seriously?? O_O What a perv....

Me: He is perverted. Tpgether with some JDMs and Old School cars from my allies...

My Sagaris: I am losing hope these days -_-. Can't believe people are involved in porn -_-

Me: Yes. These guys are retarded....

My Venom GT: Finally, THE FINISH LINE!!!! :D A FEW MORE METERS AND I AM DONE!!!! :D

R8 Tyke's AHGT: HELLO!!!!! >:D (Knocks down my Venom GT)

My Venom GT: WHAT THE- (explodes)

Me: Whoops, you failed. >:)

My Venom GT: C'MON. A KD IS NOT A WRECK. >:P

Me: Nope. KDs ARE WRECKS. REDO THE CHALLENGE!!!! >:(

My Venom GT: FFFUUUUUUUUU- D:<

R8 Tuke's AHGT: Please. Try. Again. >:P

(After returning to the R&D site 2 days later)

Me: Okay. I can now start another test- (sees some chaos in the lab)

R&D technician: Sorry to say, we are having technical difficulties.

Me: DAMN IT!!! >:( IT MUST BE VIVENDI!!!!! >:( Here. (I hand them some tokens) Use these to get extra keys. Imma leave now rather than wasting my time.

(On my way home with the Lamborghini Estoque)

Me: (trying to dial some Triads to help but they say they are not free, then I tried dialing my next garage but no one else apart from Sarah is at home)

Sarah: Um TF2014? What's up?

Me: Imma take Vincent's wife away. So we can have some fun with her. Who asked her to capture you that day?

Sarah: Well I just learnt some tactics. I will come.

Me: Where's Lily, Naomi and Brad?

Sarah: Currently in Australia. And don't worry about them getting captured, ShadowAzelfland already sent a clone of himself to watch their backs.

Me: Phew. I am relieved. And mind if I hold you while confronting Anais?

Sarah: Um why? Feeling pissed?

Me: Partially pissed off with Anais. But I think what I intend to do will piss her even further. Oh, make sure my Venom GT does not follow us.

Sarah: Um,why? I thought it is under your ownership?

Me: Well, my Venom GT is a hardcore pervert. He DARED to plant a f***ing CAMERA right in Azelfland's BATHROOM. >:|

Sarah: That's just terrible. And I hope our friends who are on vacation are not ruined by this news. :/

Me: Either way I better find a new place to set my garage. Before that pervert tries to- well.... you know what I mean. (Just as I pull in front of the house with the Estoque)

My Estoque: I thought you are gonna use the Sagaris to catch Anais?

Me: Four seater is better. And initially I wanted the Triads to come but right now they are robbing a casino in Las Vegas. Under CJ's leadership.

My Estoque: Well a convoy will draw a lot of suspicion. Whatever. I will bring Sarah out here. And your Venom GT....

Me: .... has gone too far.

My IE: Calculation- servers will be back up in 6 hours.

Me: Oh great. Metal Azelfland would help me handle the 2 R&Ds while I go and catch Anais. (As Sarah enters my car) Okay. You ready for this?

Sarah: I just learnt some new moves from Wanda. Too bad I have no powers to assist....

Me: Whatever. Let's roll.

(While driving to San Fransisco Intl)

Me: Okay. Azelfland and his crew will finish the BXR EDD in 18 hours. I can just chillax while we catch Anais while Metal Azelfland handles the RX8 SE and Fenyr R&D for me. :P

Sarah: (laughing)

(At the airport)

Me: Okay. The C-17 will go to La Guardia Intl to pick some package. Then I will-

My C-17: We know your game plan. I told the Vickers VC10 to wait for you at La Guardia to pick you up.

Me: SERIOUSLY?? O_O HOW DAHELL AM I SUPPOSED TO LOAD MY ESTOQUE ON A VC10? PLUS HE IS NOT A FREIGHTER!!! O_O

My C-17: Don't worry. It is recently retroffited into a Combi version so you can happily load your car onto it. :)

Me: I hope so :/

(6 hours later, at La Guardia, New York)

Me: Feels good to be back home in New York. Too bad I have no time to stop- I got a hooker to capture. :/

My VC10: Hey look who it is. :l

Me: Well, I heard you have recently been retroffited.

My VC10: (opening one of his large doors) Yep I am. Climb aboard.

Me: Thanks. And I hope you are not in an arguement with your Russian cousin....

My VC10: You mean the Il-62? Not so much to argue about, just because we closely resemble with each other.

Me: Okay. (After the VC-10 taxiied to the runway) WTF?? WHERE IS THE DAMN AUTOPILOT??? O_O

My VC10: I will handle the controls ON MY OWN. While you familiarise with my flight deck.

(As the VC10 is en route to Le Bourget Airport, Paris)

Me: Okay. Finally I got the hang on the autopilot.

My VC10: Grats. :) And we are reaching in 4 hours time.

Me: Alright. I have 5 hours to catch Anais.

My VC10: Did you say Anais?? Gosh I hate that bitch. >:|

Me: Actually, ALL aircraft do. So do my friends and I. (Turns to Sarah) I hope you don't feel abandoned... I need to handle the controls.

Sarah: Nah, why would you think you are abandoning me, just because you said no word to me for 4 hours?

Me: Glad you understand. (Just as I hold her)

My VC10: Um bro. I thought you say you ain't looking for a date? :P

Me: Aw shaddup. -_- Didn't you British relatives- including the De Havilland Comet, Aerospatiale Concorde and Britten Norman Trislander, tell you that I DON'T WANT a girlfriend AT ALL? -_-

My VC10: Well, they did not.

Me: Well, I think all of you need to know it. (Just before I command the A350 to inform all planes about this) I hope next time NONE OF YOU EVER SAY I am having a girlfriend......

My VC10: Just kidding.

Me: We got different regulations up here.

(At Le Bourget)

Me: Hey. Thanks for your help.

My VC10: Anytime. :) And don't worry about the gossip. Apparently ALL aircraft have gotten the word. Good luck.

(While on the way to the EDD site)

Me: Okay. I know where the EDD site is. And once I caught her, we are going to Charles De-Gaulle Airport. I know a 747-200F that is waiting there. And I will use it to go back to USA and I know a place to hide that witch.

Sarah: Need me to tell you how she looks like?

Me: Nah nah nah nah. I confronted that f*** many times. When she accompanies Vincent to sabotage stuff, when she kidnapped Lily and Naomi, when I blow up Vincent's fortresses- and Azelfland and his crew met her many times. No need to describe to me.

(Upon reaching the EDD site)

Me: Okay. 2 hours for the EDD to complete. And I think she just entered the washroom?

Sarah: Then I am cracking.

Me: Of course you have to do this. While I watch your back. Oh wait- we set up an ambush.

Sarah: Good idea.

Me: (shortly leaving the Estoque with Sarah) And you, keep your engine running.

My Estoque: Aye.

(The two of us hide behind an inactive food stall near the washroom where Anais entered)

Me: Okay. She comes out, we strike. We do this together, since we know how to strike while in stealth mode.

Sarah: Game on. >:)

(After 3 mins)

Anais: Well, I need to get back to my husband fast. He might worry soon, especially with Azelfc*** about to get the Bailey. Stupid stranger that stained my new dress -_- I JUST bought it.

(As she leaves the washroom)

Me: Okay. Let's do this.

Sarah: Good thing I am wearing hiking boots so I can catch her.

Me: Yeah.... and she is wearing shoes that are ill-suited for running. Ok, enough talking, let's get her. >:)

(While Anais is stording back Sarah grabbed her suddenly)

Anais: (trying to scream while Sarah jams her mouth)

(Both of them tumble to the floor, giving me the oppurtunity to sit on top of Anais)

Me: Keep her in place!! >:| (As I use duct tape to wrap her feet before she can kick any of us)

Sarah: Got her facing flat on the floor.

Me: Good. (As I wrap her hands with duct tape) Okay. Done. You try to zip her mouth. (As I carry her legs)

Sarah: On it. >:| (Both of us carry her to the Estoque)

My Estoque: Well, well, well. Look what you found.

Me: Well we got some big 'chick' :P

Sarah: More like some 'mermaid'.

Me: Yeah. A big, bad one. I thought mermaids are kind-hearted- Oh wait, I thought mermaids never existed. :P Enough talkie. Before she rolls away, we better go. (I toss a piece of paper rolled into a ball shape to the EDD site) I better find a secluded place.

Anais: SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(As Anais screams for help I turn the volume of my Estoque MP3 to the maximum, with the MP3 playing the song "Black Sky" (by Arrows To Athens)

Me: Try calling for help while the music is OUT LOUD!!! :P (While I jam her mouth with some cloth)

Sarah: Before we att- OH $#!+!!!! COPS!!!! O_O

Me: DAMN IT!!! I THOUGHT THEY WILL IGNORE US!!!! >:| (Both of us enter the Estoque and drive all around Paris while evading the cops)

(After 32 mins)

Me: Whew. A Pay N Spray garage. (Respray the Estoque) Au Revoir!!! (Bye Bye!!!) :P

(After driving my Estoque to a secluded place)

Me: Okay. Time to check our 'cargo'. (I open the trunk while pointing a gun into the back of the Estoque) Great. She fell asleep. (I tie her hands and legs with a rope that tightens when she tries to struggle, then I remove the duct tape and strap her body on the trunk base) Now time to place her somewhere unexpected.

Sarah: You know what, (digs Anais' pockets and dumps all items in her pockets at the alleyway) I gotta make sure she has no means of communication, and make sure her husband cannot find her.

Me: Good idea.....

(I drive to Charles De-Gaulle airport and take off in the 747-200F; by the time I take off, Vincent saw my note)

(After a long journey and drive)

Me: (voice mail to Metal Azelfland) Thanks for your assistance in the R&D. Will be back in 6 hours.

(While driving up Mount Diablo)

Me: This car is not suited for off-roading but we can make it. I remember a small, abandoned house with lots of furniture in there. With 3 waterfalls nearby. And yes, there are gates.

Sarah: So we gonna hide her in there?

Me: Yes. Oh, when I strapped Anais to my trunk, I had to do it with her facing upwards, or else she will perish.

Sarah: Well she cannot breathe face down. Low risk option.

(Anais slowly gains conscience while Sarah and I are chatting all the way uphill)

Anais: (thinking) I bet it must be TrashF***er2014 and one of his allies! >:( Who else will think of kidnapping me like that?! I MUST figure a way to get outta here- (struggling to release herself but the ropes only get tighter)

(At the house on Mt. Diablo)

Me: Here we are. (I park the Estoque at the house porch)

(Both of us carry Anais into the house after I remove the duct tape; and place her on a bed while I tie her to the bed)

Me: Well, she can bark whatever she wants. She will never walk freely anymore. (I held Sarah with one hand in front of Anais while removing the cloth from Anais' mouth with another)

Anais: YOU!!!! >:( AZELFLAND'S DOG!!!!! >:( WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO CATCH ME LIKE THAT????!!!!!

Me: You say I have no rights. But YOU and YOUR STINKING HUSBAND capture my friends every now and then. You assisted them. So YOU, will remain here for the rest of your life.

Sarah: You are lucky we chose not to kill you.

Anais: LET ME GO NOW!!!!! >:( HEEELLLLLPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Scream all you want. No one can hear you.

Sarah: PLUS, my friend here bought this place, so it is HIS place now. No one will be allowed to get up here so no one will find you...

Me: Sarah's right. >:) (as I show my ownership cert) And no one will hear you scream, because your voice will be drowned out by these waterfalls.

Anais: And, STOP HOLDING THAT WHORE!!! >:(

Me: Don't say that about my friend. And, I can hold her ANYTIME I WISH, if she allows so. And your V-DRESS makes me wanna puke.

Anais: STFU AND UNTIE ME NOW!!!!! >:( (As she still struggles)

Me: Save your fricking saliva and energy. No one will hear you and these ropes get tighter as you try more.

Sarah: I don't think she will shut up. Wait for me. (As she lets go and finds a bucket)

Anais: I hope your snobby friend meets an accident. >:(

Sarah: You sure? (Splashes Anais with a bucket of cold water)

Anais: ARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!! STOP IT NOW AND LET ME GO!!!! >:(

Me: I don't wanna waste anymore time with that hooker.

Sarah: I know right? Let's go. (Before she let me hold her again)

Anais: COME BACK NOW YOU IDIOTS!!!!! >:( COME BACK HERE AND LET ME GO!!!!!!!!! >:(

Me: If I let you go then WE are the ones to get captured. I ain't falling into your tricks. And no- I will keep close to my friend here so that your husband does not get his hands on her.

Anais: COME!!!! BACK!!!!! HERE!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!! LET ME GO YOU C***S!!!!!!! >:( YOU TWO HEAR ME?!!!!!!!! (Sarah and I enterd the Estoque at this point) LET ME GO!!!!!!!!! >:(

(After I reach Sarah's house)

Vincent's message to me: Give my wife back you snitch. I knew you took her away. >:(

Me: I will NOT THINK about letting her go. Remember when you broke your promise while in Manaus and in Hawaii? YOU BROKE your promise when YOU LOST. Oh, the Rezvani Championship is on. If I lose, I will give her back. If I WIN, YOU will not get her back. Not only that, YOU have to SHUT DOWN YOUR OPERATIONS, GTFO from AsphaltLand and join the Flat Earth Soceity. Oh, I have already bypassed the token only upgrades on the Rezvani. You are losing big time. >:P

My Estoque: Oh. Your Holden has now sent the MC12 Blueprints to Azelfland to assemble.

Me: Perfect.

Sarah: I thought you said you will not let Anais go? :/

Me: Well I decided to bet with Vincent. If I get the Rezvani, Vincent not only will not get his wife, but he also has to shut down his operations and join the Flat Earth Soceity. >:)

Sarah: The Flat Earth Soceity? I never thought Vincent believes the Earth is flat....

Me: Vincent is as retarded as a typical Flat Earther. He may not believe the flat earth BS, but judging by his tiny mind I am sure he has the brains of a Flat Earther. :P

Sarah: (laughing)

Me: Oh. I promised Lily and Naomi one thing, and I am gonna make that promise to you- I will not leave you straying into danger, ok?

Sarah: Okay. :)

My Estoque: I wonder why you think Vincent belongs to the Flat Earth Soceity? :/

Me: 1) Flat Earthers are stupid. 2) Vincent's brains are made out of crap. 3) Vincent is equally retarded as a Flat Earther. Does that answer your question? :P

(All of us laughing)

(The end)