Asphalt Wiki

Lab .001.[]

  • Test .001.: Hello, and welcome to Lab 1. Corporate is worried about our image. They want us to be "cool," so they got a Rimac Concept S -- and hopefully a hotshot driver! ... That's you.

  • Test .002.: Oh wow... Corporate's really gonna like how you finished strong there! Let's see you keep it up: We really need to market ourselves to "swag teens."

  • Test .003.: Great... just great! The way you move out there makes me want to share a refreshing beverage with my "boys"! I'm sure Corporate will ask for more, so let's give it to them!

  • Test .004.: The numbers came back, and though you are EXTREMELY "hype" right now, we're not getting that image boost we were hoping for. Let's try to up that track performance!

  • Test .005.: Market research came back to us, and the data says the kids love a winner. If we're going to "slide" into their "DMs" (demographics), we need to start taking home the gold.

  • Test .006.: Impressive! You're almost ready for the Gauntlet: facing AI versions of past Corporate mascots. If you're cool, you got nothing to worry about.

  • Test .007.: Here we go! Time to face your competition: "Sixties Slim," a doo-wop singing AI who was insufficiently "groovy" for Corporate's tastes. You'll do great!

Lab .002.

  • Test .008.: Welcome to Lab 2! You've done a great job on your way to becoming our new Corporate mascot! Isn't the Rimac Concept S great? Get out there and go fast!

  • Test .009.: I'm sure Lab 1 explained to you that we need winners. You're doing great, but in order to make sure you got what it takes, we're gonna start ramping up the competition.

  • Test .010.: Corporate is reworking another outdated AI mascot -- "Johnny Seventies" -- in order to face you at the end of this. He is "far out" of touch with today's society.

  • Test .011.: You're fast out there, but the Rimac can be pushed to new heights. We're going to make sure you got what it takes to place first under pressure!

  • Test .012.: Pulse-pounding action is hot right now! We've outfitted the Rimac to take a beating. Try knocking down the other cars on the track to epitomize today's culture!

  • Test .013.: Corporate says conspiracy theories are on the rise, so we want to market you as the "Area 51 Hero." Get "turnt" and take home the gold!

  • Test .014.: Barrel rolls were huge in the Seventies -- and we think they might be making a comeback. Every kid is barrel-rolling down the block! Go ahead -- try it!

  • Test .015.: Dubai is a modern city for a modern demographic. You take home the gold there, and it'll make you a top candidate for being the embodiment of the era.

  • Test .016.: You're the embodiment of the era! But just like with today's millennials -- that's not good enough. Keep pushing yourself, at least until we get Johnny Seventies ready.

  • Test .017.: You win here, and you'll face Johnny Seventies -- and you'll be that much closer to being the "Wheels of a Generation." Think about it -- one day YOU'LL be outdated!

  • Test .018.: "Can you dig it?" And by "it," I mean Johnny Seventies. One of the best spokes-AI's we could've hoped for, until he refused to advertise hairspray and shoulder pads.

  • Test .019.: Wow -- you made it all the way to Lab 3! Our signature AI -- "Hunter Eighties" -- was once the undisputed king of "hang time," so let's see if you can air-glide to victory!

  • Test .020.: Well "gag me with a spoon," aren't you "totally gnarly"! If this is annoying you, I'll stop. I just don't know any modern slang. Like, why does everyone call me "extra"?

  • Test .021.: I'm trying to pick up modern slang and it's just, like, so "grody to the max." After you're done racing, can you explain what's a "selfie" and why it needs a stick?

  • Test .022.: When Corporate trashed Hunter Eighties, I wanted to be, like, "what's your major malfunction?" I do think you'd be great though, if you keep it up on the track.

  • Test .023.: Hunter Eighties got his start working at an AI cocktail bar on the Azure Coast. He would recite limericks and everything. Let's see what YOU got, "hotrod"!

  • Test .024.: The way you're handling the #>Rimac Concept S#| is "totally tubular"! I'm not sure what they would say today. "Really good BFF"? I'm bad at this. But you're "RAD" on the track!

  • Test .025.: Corporate says the Hunter Eighties AI is almost tuned to perfection. You're one of the best out there, but so is he. Do what you need to finish first!

  • Test .026.: Hunter Eighties was a real action hero back in the day. If you're gonna beat him, you gotta beat him at his own game!

  • Test .027.: Welcome to "The Hunter Dome"! In this corner is the "Gnarly Knight"... Hunter Eighties! And in the other corner is... you. Good luck out there!

  • Test .028.: Well "gag me with a spoon" -- you beat Hunter Eighties! The kids today will definitely think you're "lit" like a "thot." I'm sorry; please just focus on having a great race.

  • Test .029.: Corporate thinks you're the one, but they want to make sure you have lasting power. Keep hitting the track and show us what the Rimac Concept S can do!

  • Test .030.: What we love about you is that you're an international hit. Ever been to Tenerife? You will, and you'll WANT to be there. It's "tubular." I mean -- "goals."

  • Test .031.: Hunter Eighties is a real AI's AI: no sensitive side at all. You're not like that. Try to bring out your inner pacifist and make sure that Rimac doesn't get wrecked!

  • Test .032.: Should you prove yourself here, I got a little surprise for you next round. Trust me; you don't want to miss this!

  • Test .033.: It's just "NOT EVEN" the Eighties without a killer sequel! It's the Hunter Eighties you know and love -- but this time he's BIGGER, BETTER, and BADDER! Good luck, Champ!

  • Test .034.: Welcome to Lab 4. We deal with '90s/early 2000s esoterica, and we're honestly glad you beat Hunter Eighties back there. We wouldn't be relevant otherwise!

  • Test .035.: We have a feeling that you respect the past while looking to the future. And THAT means only YOU can make Flat Spins look cool again!

  • Test .036.: Corporate went through a desperate grunge phase a while back: Rip Nineties, their AI mascot, was essentially too cool to drive. Not like you! You're just cool ENOUGH.

  • Test .037.: After Rip Nineties, Corporate decided for a more friendly approach with Ollie Nineties. That skateboard culture was "bangin'." And I don't mean that in a good way.

  • Test .038.: You ever feel like people are nostalgic for things that weren't even that great? Like Flat Spins! Who likes Flat Spins?! Apparently Corporate. And HOPEFULLY you.

  • Test .039.: Rumor has it that Corporate is refurbishing their Ollie Nineties AI. If you manage to avoid its kick-flips and focus on racing, you should be fine.

  • Test .040.: The thing is, the '90s had nothing LIKE the #>Rimac Concept S#|! The times you can reach with that thing are great. I would say "ill"... but I don't actually like the '90s.

  • Test .041.: To be honest, I'm more of an early 2000s girl. Corporate packaged the '90s and the 2000s together because... Well, that's the reason we have an image problem. Please help us.

  • Test .042.: Rip Nineties was tough, Ollie Nineties a little less so -- but still, you'll need to be tough if you want to represent ANY era. Except for today. Modern dudes are "v emo."

  • Test .043.: Corporate just pinged me to tell me Ollie Nineties is almost totally overhauled. You beat this time, and you're well on your way to becoming our next corporate spokesperson.

  • Test .044.: I hope you absolutely dismantle the Ollie Nineties AI. Never liked him; definitely rooting for you.

  • Test .045.: Finally "bro," we've entered the "hella cool" 2000s and... WHAT?! FLAT SPINS?! NO! How many times do I have to say Flat Spins are a '90s-ONLY thing! Ugh!

  • Test .046.: OK, "church," that was "sick." Welcome to the Big 00! The year 2000! Y2K! You know... all that good stuff. Now keep "rollin' " on the track!

  • Test .047.: Jiggy 2000 was the ultimate AI mascot, but we have yet to update him. As much as I love Jiggy 2000, it gets embarrassing when he tells people they got "served."

  • Test .048.: Once you beat Jiggy 2000, Corporate says they'll let you keep the Rimac Concept S. Consider it a signing bonus for battling AIs through the eras. But you gotta get there first!

  • Test .049.: Jiggy 2000 is just about ready. "Stunt" on 'em in French Guiana and the path will be made clear!

  • Test .050.: The final battle! Our incredibly outdated AI mascot Jiggy 2000 versus the future -- YOU! Jiggy 2000 is the best... but you got this!

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