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Continuing from Part 2 (II)

16 hours later, in Havana, Cuba.

My Mazda 6: Why people are looking at us like some billionaires? I don’t understand.

My Mazda Furai: That’s because Cubans need to pay insane prices for a new car. By the way, the cars here are from the 60’s… RX8! WHERE ARE YOU!

My Mazda RX8: LOOK! ALL CUBAN CARS ARE LOOKING AT ME! THEY ALSO WANT TO WATCH PORN WITH ME! PORNS REALLY PROMOTE SOCIAL HARMONY!

My Supra: (watching the RX8’s porn) Geez, the actresses… so damn hot…(anime nosebleed)

My R8 LMS Ultra: *AHEM*, shouldn’t you guys NOT watching porn in public?

Azefland: OH LOOK! A DRAG RACE FIELD!

Me: AND Vivendi goons! (points to the Vivendi goons)

My AMG GT3: Maybe beating them in drag races will let us know where the auction house is… (uses Spanish) AY HOLA! Mi nombre es AMG GT3. Donde esta la casa de subastas? (Hi! My name is Mercedes AMG GT3. Where is the auction house?)

Vivendi goon 1: SPEAK ENGLISH, NOOB!

Vivendi goon 2: If you want to go to the auction house, then F**K OFF!

Me: HEY VIVENDI MILLITARIANS! I’M THE R8 TYKE!

Vivendi goon 3: I’ve heard about you, TRAITOR! LEAVE before I bust your F**KING HEAD!

Me:  I’ll leave, but let’s do a drag race. If I win, you’ll need to tell me the location of the auction house. If you guys win, you can bust my head.

Vivendi goon 1: LET’S RACE, TRAITOR! (Hops into his Cobra)

Me: There’s someone you shouldn’t mess with, b**ch! (Hops into my R8 LMS Ultra)

After 3 minutes…

Me: Seems I won ALL of you.

My Mazda 6: TELL US WHERE IS THE AUCTION HOUSE, A**HOLES!

Vivendi goon 3: Here’s the map (hands it over to my Mazda 6)… and free us please!

My Mazda 6: I GOT THIS. (Kills Vivendi goons with AK-47) NOW, TO THE AUCTION HOUSE!

After 6 minutes…

Me: STOP RIGHT THERE, SHAX!

Tyler Shax: OH F**K, I THOUGHT YOU'LL NEVER GET TO SEE THEM AGAIN! AND WATCH THIS- MY MERCEDES SLS GT FINAL EDITION! VINCENT GAVE THAT TO ME!

My R8 LMS Ultra: SLS GT! I'LL SAVE YOU!

The Merc SLS GT: AREA RESTRICTED. ALL NOOB INTRUDERS 2 B HAXORED BY ME L33T MERCEDES SLS. I AM TEH SHAX ALLY. I ROXOR U AND THEN ROFL. THEN U AM CRY. I RECEIVE ORDERS THRU ANTENNA ON THIS L33T HELMET. IT IS HOTNESS. I MUST OBEY ALL ORDERS. I LIKE 2 PWN NOOBZ 4 TEH MASTER VIVENDSORZ. U=NOOBZ. SLS=L33T. PREPARE 4 TOTAL PWNAGE. WOOT WOOT WOOT WOOT!

Suddenly, SILVERFISHES, FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.

Me: DIE YOU SON OF B**CHES! (Throws Splash Potions of Instant Damage IV to the Silverfishes and they died)

The Merc SLS GT: NOOBZ STILL R NOT PWNED. CONTINUE PWNERSHIP UNTIL ALL NOOBZ R PWNED. TEH ESCAPE IS IMPOSSIBLE. I AM 2 L33T. I OWNZ JOO. U WILL GET FLATZORED BY MY L33T TIR3Z.

My LaFerrari: I'm NOT gonna help, I need to find a way to fix that scratch!

Tyler Shax: WAIT, HOW COME YOU’RE FREED?

My LaFerrari: Easy, you didn’t lock my cage, FOOL! >=)

Tyler Shax: OH YOU GOT FRIENDS? I’LL CRUSH THEM AFTER I CRUSH YOU! IT’S A ONE-ON-ONE FIGHT, R8 TYKE! (takes out golden sword)

Me: TRY ME, B**CH! >=) (Takes out enchanted Diamond Sword)


CLICK HERE TO READ PART 2(IV): http://asphalt.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:Audi_R8_tyke/Asphalt_Stories-_Easter_Special_Part_II(IV)

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