Woo. A new school year has started. That means... yeah. 3 episodes left, and I'm going to quit A8. I got less time to care for racing anyways. Also, A8 has become sh*t in quality recently.
Anyways, preview time! This time, we have clips from the newly announced 'Super Derp Daisy Stories', here the preview goes:
Holly Tanaka: Hello, folks! I’m going to do some mythbusting today! Today’s first myth is: Can humans survive after being rolled over by a train!
(Camera pans to the train tracks in the Kalimari Desert track in Mario Kart 64, with Daisy tied onto the tracks. Train noises can be heard getting progressively louder AKA the train is coming.)
Daisy: SOMEONE CALL 9-1-1 NOW!!!
Holly Tanaka: LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLEEEEE!!!!!!!
[The train rolled over Daisy (Holly Tanaka, you’re a complete JERK.)]
Daisy: My ovaries…
Holly Tanaka: …Son of a-
Smash Bros announcer: Failure! (With me holding the ‘Busted’ sign)
(TV transition effect before the 2nd clip plays)
Holly: OK, and the final myth is-*ahem*-Can I inspect all of the wallets in 10 minutes? (Streches her arms) Let’s. Do this. (Proceeds to take and inspect all wallets in the world in-you guessed it-9.59 minutes) Yipee! I confirmed it! This myth is-
Mario: HEY F*CKER!
(Holly Tanaka looked behind and sees the world population standing behind her)
Me (in the crowd): She stole our wallets!
Daisy: SHE ALSO KIDNAPPED ME! F*CK HER UP!
Holly Tanaka: (Sees the angry crowd ready to beat her up) NOOOOOOO!!!!
Me: OK, the last myth of today is-Can Holly Tanaka survive a beating? (My mathematical assumptions tell me it’s 0% BTW. Also very weird that Holly Tanaka is using Daisy’s voice clip.)
Holly Tanaka: (Gets beaten by various characters with crowbars, but still turned out unharmed) What? That’s easy! I took beatings more than that!
(The crowd throws her into the volcano in the Grumbling Volcano track in MKWii)
Holly Tanaka: OMG! IT BURNS!
Me: (Looking at Holly Tanaka burning in lava) Wow. That’s a ‘busted’ for this myth.
Peach: (Takes out her wallet) Luckily she didn’t stole my money. Ice-cream anyone? It’s on me.
Everyone: (Retarded ‘yay’s while leaving Holly Tanaka burning in lava)
Holly Tanaka: OK. I regret doing the last myth.
Now, into the real deal. Enjoy!
Mario: Actually, why are we featured again?
My GT FIA GT1: There is a reason why. The brand new game mode in A8 felt so much like Mario Kart, which prompted R8 tyke to play Mario Kart again.
Luigi: (Installing the Senna’s headlamps) Weird. They’ve gone for too long. One Mario Kart cup doesn’t last like 12 minutes.
My GT FIA GT1: I got a message. It says ‘R8 tyke was missing after the toilet break and he’s nowhere to be seen’.
Luigi: Maybe we should check on him.
My GT FIA GT1: Sure. I’m afraid that something bad happened to him.
Luigi: Maybe we'll check on him. Let's go!
30 Minutes later, in my garage...
My 918 WP: No way Luigi and Mario went for too long, along with the GT FIA GT1. (Recieves a message) Hm? What's this? (Reads the message) BWAHAHA! ALL YOU FOOLS HAVE FALLEN INTO MY TRAP! ME, THE GLORIUS BMW M3 BOY, SHALL DESTROY ALL YOU FOOLS, STARTING WITH THE GIRLS! HAHA! NOW SCRAM, AND NEVER COME BACK!
My W12: Geez. That guy tried to destroy all of us last time. Nothing will go right.
My 918 WP: Anyways, I'm checking on them. Something tells me that this goes REAL UGLY...
At the Luigi Circuit in MKWii...
My 918 WP: Hmm, noone in sight. Oh, a weird panel right there. Wonder what it does.
M3 Boy's BMW i8 Roadster: GOTCHA, BITCH! (Phones M3 Boy after he pushes the 918 WP into the panel) Boss, I caught a 918.
M3 Boy: (On the phone) Good. Be sure to destroy it. It might be R8 tyke's. (Hangs up the phone)
M3 Boy's M2 Competition: YOU FOOL! I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. YOU PUSHED THAT 918 WP INTO THE MIRROR DIMENSION! NOW WE F*CKED UP! BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPIDITY!
M3 Boy's i8 Roadster: Sorry.
In the Luigi Circuit of the mirror dimension...
My 918 WP: Hmm. (Sees around) I can see that M3 Boy uses his powers to open up a portal to the mirror dimension. (Notices both princesses, tied up to a lightpole) Hang on, I'm going to save you two. (Cuts the rope by rubbing against it on his tires)
Daisy: DAMMIT! THAT R8 TYKE LOOK ALIKE TOOK HIM WHILE HE'S TAKING A TOILET BREAK!
Peach: Anyways, where are we? I mean-
M3 Boy: (On the broadcasting system) *Angry grunts* STUPID I8 ROADSTER! YOU LET THAT F*CKING PORSCHE IN?! I'LL KILL YOU! Oops. Bad temper control. Now, greetings, locusts, I, am the famed BMW M3 Boy, as well as the arch-nemesis of your dearest R8 tyke. Now, I'm having some 'FUN' with him, involving chainsaws, bleach and stuff like that. Now, enjoy my army of machine mades, made FROM ALL OF YOUR RACING DATAS. You guys will be my test subjects, yes? (Awkward silence) I guess I'll take that as a 'yes'. NOW, SUFFER, MY DEAREST PRINCESSES, BECAUSE FOR NOW, TWO BITCHES (and a car, obviously) GON' DIE TODAY! ALONE! (Maniac laugh as he shuts down the broadcasting system)
My 918 WP: Anyways. Do you have any idea where is everyone?
(Both princesses shook their heads)
My 918 WP: I guess there's only one way. We have to defeat that M3 Boy's machine mades.
Peach: You sure? They're driving those futuristic looking Mercedes and-
My 918 WP: Those aren't Mercedes, they're the Lamborghini Terzo Millenios.
Daisy: They... look... menacing.
My 918 WP: Well good thing that those Terzos doesn't seem to have been upgraded heavily. The only real question is these Terzos are (I suppose) programmed to race in a similar skill level with us. But believe it or not, we're at a upper hand! Well, sort of, 'cause I'm faster. AND you guys know what to do, especially it's a mirrored track. Afterall, this is Mario Kart.
Daisy: That's a good thing. Lemme try this 918 first.
After the Mushroom Cup, in Toad Factory...
Daisy: THIS IS BULLSH*T! 918, WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME YOU HAVE AN OUTSIDE DRIFT?! YOU KNOW I CAN GET AN UPPERHAND IF YOU STOP SCRAPING THOSE WALLS!
My 918 WP: Well whatdidja expect from me? Those cash-loving buttholes in A8 screwed my drifting. I can't help either!
My P1: Guys?
My LaFerrari: We've heard that almost everyone are in trouble so we get here.
Peach: You guys can help us, right?
Daisy: Well, I'm skeptical about this. Cars have outside drifting. I prefer bikes-
My LaFerrari: EXCUSE ME?! JUST SHUT UP ABOUT THAT OUTSIDE DRIFT CRAP AND DRIVE! NOONE CARES ABOUT DRIFTING TYPES! BESIDES, WE. DRIFT. BETTER THAN THE 918!
My P1: Normally, I really hate you, LaFerrari, but princess, I must say he's got a point in there. We really drift tighter than the 918. So much, in fact, our rear bumpers scrape the ground while burning rubber. Consider ourselves inside drifting cars.
My 918 WP: The P1's right. You can safely entrust him. AND the LaFer.
Peach: That's interesting. I think I'll pick the P1.
(Distant screams of help from my GT FIA GT1)
My 918 WP: Maybe I'll go and check on the GT1. Meanwhile, you guys go and do more races. LaFer, you go and help Daisy ace the Mushroom Cup.
Sometime later, in the (really hateful gold mine that will usually lead to you falling out-of-bounds) ...
My P1: Actually, I can't unsee the fact that Luigi was tied up on the pole on the finishing line. I really wish we can help him ASAP.
Peach: Look a little bit further in time, P1. We have saved him after we finish the race.
Luigi: Thank god someone untie me from that pole! My butt nearly went up in flames!
My P1: Meanwhile, I got news. Daisy aced the Mushroom Cup, so does we aced the Flower Cup.
M3 Boy: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! THEY ALREADY ACED 2 CUPS AND SAVED THE MEME 'STACHE?! IMPOSSIBLE!
M3 Boy's M3 GTR: I'm afraid yes, sir. In fact, they're progressing to Daisy Circuit, with the Holy Trinity of Hypercars.
M3 Boy: BOLLOCKS! MY PROTOTYPES GOT DESTROYED BY SOME OUTDATED CLASS KINGS?! Geez, I'll get rid of that IDIOTIC i8 soon. Send in the Beast X squad, the Hommages and the Arashes. Make sure they get NO ESCAPE.
M3 Boy's M3 GTR: Then what about the 918 RSR, the X-Bow and the Estoque?
M3 Boy: Let them get the X-Bow. It's a POS anyways. I will deal with the RSR and the Estoque myself.
M3 Boy's M3 GTR: It is reminded that your hostage is in the Estoque.
M3 Boy: Shut up. I'll deal with her too. M5, Make sure EVERYTHING is still in my plan. DO NOT FAIL ME.
M3 Boy's M5: You mean taking over the Kingdom while getting rid of your nemesis? I will not fail you.
My LaFerrari: Those weren't too hard.
My P1: Though I can see that those cars are getting progressively stronger. I mean, those Hommages are starting to catch up to us.
Luigi: Maybe we need a car which is fast yet manageable.
My MP4-31: Maybe I can help. I'm the fastest F1 car which has sharp drifting.
Daisy: Really? I've always hearing that the X2 is the fastest...
My MP4-31: C'mon! I'm not *THAT* far from the X2 anyways.
My P1: That's true. Besides, the MP4-31 has 'inside drift' while the X2 doesn't. Since you've aced the Star Cup. The infamous Rainbow Road is coming. You need something manageable, right?
Daisy: Alright. I'm gonna do with the MP4-31, I guess.
My 918 Spyder: I think it's time for us to leave. Seeing how M3 Boy will get frustrated when he sees his creation got owned by us, it's better for us to step down and let others help with you in case things go really wrong. See ya back in the garage!
Much later, in the N64 Mario Raceway...
Peach: Weird. I don't remember seeing you guys in here. Where's the P1?
My AHGT: He's going back home. Ya know, they're feeling that they might not cut the later races. As a result, I took the 918's place.
My Gallardo GT3: Besides, you might consider some more, RETRO approach when completing these races. I mean, sliding your karts are the best way to get 'round a corner, but trust me. Sliding kills a lot of speed for me.
(A KTM X-Bow shows up)
the X-Bow: Finally someone other than the psychopath is here! Greetings, I'm the X-Bow, and it's read as 'CROSSBOW', not 'X-BOW'! Allow me to introduce my strengths. I, am good at gripping the tarmac.
My Gallardo GT3: How much?
the X-Bow: I can pull out 1.8 Gs.
Peach: Hell yeah. I would pick you.
After more races, in the Waluigi Stadium...
My M3 GT2 Alms: I'm waiting for you guys. Look, I've just discovered that R8 tyke was locked inside the restroom. BUT before you do anything, we must win this. (Points to a 918 RSR) I kept racing this bummer for A MILLION TIMES YET HE STILL WON ME!
the 918 RSR: Actually, I'm not a real 918 RSR. I'm just a clone made by my master, M3 Boy. The real one is hidden somewhere here. Beat me and I'll tell you.
My AHGT: This track will really test vehicle grip. USE THAT X-BOW TO ITS ADVANTAGE!
the 918 RSR clone: I can't believe I lost! OK, that car's in the pit stop. Ground-pound a pole and he'll appear.
My AHGT: You lied! There's no pole!
(Distant carton falling noise)
My MP4-31: (screams)MAKE WAY FOR WILLIE! (Destroys the 918 RSR clone and a tire stack in the pit stop during his rollover) Try me, bitch.
Daisy: Woo, that's a wild ride, right Mario?
Mario: Uhh... yes.
My AHGT: Guys, this is crazy! You dropped right from the Rainbow Road after the race?
My MP4-31: (While on fire and severely deformed) That's my idea.
the 918 RSR in the pit: You're one big retard, F1 car.
(Everyone gaspes even more)
My AHGT: Turned out... that clone... said the truth!
My Gallardo GT3: Just he mistaken the tyre stack as a pole.
Luigi: Guys I found R8 tyke!
Me: Goddammit! I nearly got killed by that bummer! (Sees the 918 RSR) He got me... a CAR?! All is forgiven! (Hops into the RSR and starts the car)
Peach: Actually, it's the guy's retardness. Look, we got another free car. He told me he escaped from that madman.
Me: Oh well. Anyways, I'm gonna fight him later. Maybe in the finale.
My 918 RSR: Wait. So everyone's safe now. Does that means home?
My Aventador SV: No, not yet. (while showing up from the entrance)
My AHGT: What do you mean 'NO', d*ckface?
My Aventador SV: I did a survey at the final tracks, and I spotted a huge amount of Ford GT clones in the GCN Mario Circuit. They replied 'nothing' defensively and chased me out when asked about a wrecked Estoque on the site. I suspect he's trying to hide a secret in the Estoque. (Also, try not to call me d*ckface. I've had enough of it, bummer.)
My AHGT: Aww, fine. We'll go and check it out.
Later, at the GCN Mario Circuit...
The Ford GT clones: Get outta here! No one is permitted to get into here!
Mario: Mama f*cker ! We don't get here just to be rejected!
The Ford GT clones: Well, go get the foreman in the N64 Castle. Maybe he'll talk. (But we bet he wouldn't allow it)
My 918 RSR: Maybe...erm... let's go?
Me: FINE. I really want to take a rest.
After reaching the N64 Bowser Castle track...
M3 Boy's M5: Oh sh*t! You've defeated my minions?! AGAIN?!
My Aventador SV: Yes, fat man!
M3 Boy's M5: Grrr... I'll kill you and a-
(Suddenly, some time portal popped up, and another Daisy, followed by Peach from popped out from it, much to both princesses' surprise)
Peach from the future: Uhh, Daisy? Are you sure this fat butthole knows what's about R8 tyke's whereabouts?
Daisy from the future: Shut up. I have an idea. I've got this weird portal-making device somewhere. Maybe I'll interrogate him. (Opens an exit of a portal on the walls) TELL ME, BIMMER! WHERE THE F*CK R8 TYKE IS OR YOU GET TO TASTE MY SWAG-LICIOUS HUMP! (Aims the portal gun in front of the M5)
M3 Boy's M5: Yes, I'm sorry I do not speak English, OK.
Daisy from the future: Guess I'll have to do this. (Opens a portal in front of the M5, humps it from the back until it enters the portal, then it fells from the portal, into lava and burned to a crisp)
Peach from the future: You're one big dumbass, Daisy. Let's go. Maybe we'll ask someone else.
Daisy from the future: No! The Kingdom has made the most burritos in 2019! I wanna pick up a few more!
Peach from the future: *sighs* I really hate you. (Grabs the future Daisy, enters the time portal and it closes)
Peach: Daisy, are you, like, a dumbass in the future? Like SMG4's Mario?
Daisy: No! I'm not a dumbass! That must be an imposter.
Me: I wouldn't believe in this time travelling sh*t.
Daisy: Let's go and check the GCN Mario Circuit now, shall we?
My AHGT: *sighs* I guess.
The Ford GT clones: Did the boss said no?
My AHGT: Your boss died.
The AHGT clones: ...OH SH*T! (Disintegrates like being Thanos-snapped)
Me: ...And they're dead.
My SV: Let's check on the Estoque then.
At the Estoque wreck site...
My SV: Hmm. It's very unusual. It's wrecked in REVERSE.
Daisy: Whoever did this must be a dumbass.
Me: No. I guess it's something in the boot they want it gone. (Takes out a Minecraft pickaxe and removes the creased trunk)
(Everyone looked inside the trunk)
Me: No wonder I cannot contact her.
Peach: Yeah, me too.
My SV: But why? Why on earth M3 Boy kidnaps Rosalina and tries to destroy her?
M3 Boy: (Descends somewhere from the sky in his M3 GTR) You filthy bastards! Have that dear ol' Rosalina, because I'll destroy ALL of you later, NOT the OTHER WAY ROUND! And I'll never give up! My failure today breeds success in the future! Au revoir! (Leaves in his M3 GTR)
My SV: Quick. We shall take both back to our garage and see hwat we can do about them.
Later, in my garage in the regular world...
Me: (Installs the windscreen) AND done! My Senna is finished!
Daisy: Can I drive it?
My MP4/8: It's... LEGO-Y.
Me: Let's fire this bad boy up. After so many episodes I can finally complete this car! (Starts the Senna's engine)
My Senna: Greetings, folks, I suppose you have finally decided to leave Asphalt, right?
My SV: We're DYING to! They'll cut my elite status soon!
My Senna: OK. I know what to do. In fact, they have forseen it coming. So Master Chief smuggled me into here, in parts.
My RS 3 SB: Oh boy! Who wants some juicy MEMES?!
My Senna: (Sighs) We have to leave, dingus.
Daisy: Yay, memes! I can't live without memes!
And this concludes the episode. See ya in October!