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while minding my own business in Asphalt 9, i got the update for Asphalt 8 and now, I'M BACK ON TRACK, PEOPLE! i may have missed a bunch of cars over the last 2 months, but now it's time to make my comeback.

this is the final episode of season 9 of "Asphalt stories". here goes:

Philadelphia, USA

Anais: you again?!>:(

Candice: well, if it isn't the boss' wife that used her minions to kidnap me.>:I

Roger: we're here to torture you for what you did to our mother!>:(

Anais: OH GOD NO!!O_O

Wanda: yes. you'll see what happens to people who dare mess with us!>:(

Anais: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!O_O

back at Azelfland's garage

My Icona Vulcano Titanium: man, it feels good to have 2 stars. now i'll be stronger than usual.^_^

Alice: glad you like it.:)

two days later

My Pininfarina H2 Speed: cool. now i'll get better in case the Cien's event comes back.^_^

Alice: you also get a recolor of your choice. what color would you like?:)

Pininfarina H2 Speed: any color you want.:)

Alice: okay then. *gives the Pininfarina H2 Speed a pink paintjob*

Pininfarina H2 Speed: one question. WHY DO I HAVE TO BE PINK?!>:(

Diana: well, to answer your question, one, just for the giggles. and two, the racers may laugh at you now, but once you beat them, they'll pee their pants.:P

Me: *laughs* that's just............... oh my god, that's just as funny as the .01% weight reduction on the Evora!XD

Pininfarina H2 Speed: i knew THIS would happen.-_-

two more days later

TweakRacer: hey, Azelfland. sorry to bother you, but there's rumors of new cars coming to add for your old garage in Rome.:I

Me: cool. does that mean we can go home?:)

TweakRacer: yeah. but someone got your garage.:I

Me: who?>:I

TweakRacer: nobody.':I

Me: WHO, TWEAKRACER?!>:(

TweakRacer: okay. it was Big Poppa.O_O'

Me: Big Poppa?! the drug dealer?! man................. YOU GAVE MY MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR GARAGE IN ROME TO A MOTHERF***ING PUSHER?!>:(

TweakRacer: you know, Azelfland. these things happen. i was powerless, man!O_O

Me: YOU F***ING DEGENERATE!! aw, man!! HOW MUCH CAN ONE GUY SNORT?!>:(

TweakRacer: it's not my fault, Azelfland!O_O

Me: MAN, I KNEW I SHOULD'VE KILLED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE! come with me! all of you! we're ALL going home!>:(

Rome, Italy, 5 kilometers above ground

Me: you and me are going to clear this place out.>:I

Woozie's gang member 1: good idea. the element of surprise.>:)

Me: so the rest of the crew can move in in peace.>:I

above Azelfland's garage in Rome

Woozie's gang member 2: you ever jumped before?:)

Woozie's gang member 3: nah. you?:)

Woozie's gang member 2: nah.:P

Woozie's gang member 3: when we land, we're going to feel invincible!>:D

Woozie's gang member 4: I AM INVINCIBLE!>:D *jumps from the plane*

Woozie's gang member 3: hey, wait up! *jumps from the plane* whooooooooooaaaaa!!!:D

Woozie's gang member 2: *jumps from the plane* WAHOOOOOOOOOHOOO!!:D

Woozie's gang member 5: *jumps from the plane* WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!:D

Me: here goes nothing. *transforms into his Batfox form and jumps from the plane* YOLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!>:D

one shootout from the roof later inside the top floor of the garage

Woozie's gang member 6: we're heavily outnumbered, but if we all keep our heads, we should kick ass.>:I

Vagos gang member: *shoots Woozie's gang member 6 to the head*

Me: you.............. SON OF A BITCH.>:I *burns the Vagos gang member to crisps*

at the ground floor

Big Poppa: you chose the wrong house to rob, fool!>:P

outside of the garage

Me: damn! how am i gonna chase him now?!>:(

My Lamborghini Sesto Elemento: Azelfland! thank god you're back! we were starting to worry about you!O_O

My Sbarro Sparta: no worries. he won't get far.>:)

5 minutes of chasing Big Poppa later

Me: TAKE THIS!!>:(

Lamborghini Sesto Elemento: THIS! IS!! SBARRO SPARTA!!!D:< *knocks down Big Poppa and kills him*

Me: take that, you Vagos piece of crap!>:)

Lamborghini Sesto Elemento: that's what you get for taking Azelfland's garage and locking it down AND DON'T YOU OR YOUR BOYS FORGET IT!>:(

back at Azelfland's garage in Rome

My Pagani Huayra BC: we're glad you're back bud.^_^

My McLaren 675LT: things have changed since you took off to improve your second garage. AND Vivendi prevented you from returning by locking it down.:(

Me: it doesn't matter.>:I

Cynthia: what matters is that it feels good to be back.^_^

My Mercedes-Benz Silver Lightning: where's Hanna, by the way?:I

My McLaren MP4-31: and what happened when you tried to get the LaFerrari to your second garage?:I

My Ferrari LaFerrari: i think it's time to tell you guys what happened.>:I

two months ago

Me: okay, LaFerrari. time to get you to your second home.^_^

My Ferrari LaFerrari: let's do it!:)

a few seconds later

Ferrari LaFerrari: hm? do you hear something?:I

Me: *looks back* UH-OH!O_O

Vincent (in his Arash AF10): guess who's back.>:)

Me: oh no...............! RUN!O_O

Ferrari LaFerrari: i'm on it!>:I

one intense chase later

Ferrari LaFerrari: did we lose him?:I

Me (looking back): i think so. *sees a truck in front of him* WATCH OUT!!O_O

Both: *screaming goat*

Me: *miraculously survives the crash* ugh. that was so bad...... ow....... come on. let's g- *checks on the LaFerrari* oh, no! this is bad!O_O

Vincent: *gets out of his Arash AF10 and rushes towards Azelfland's wrecked LaFerrari* SIT DOWN!................... how ya been?>:)

Me: um........... good?:I

Vincent: it's time to settle a little score from the Zenvo TS1 GT R&D, ya think?>:I

Me: uh-oh.O_O

Vincent: hm?>:I

Hipida: *comes in* i don't remember asking your help, Bollory. what makes you think you can bounty hunt without MY permission in Rome?:P

Vincent: it's Bollore. and this guy is from out of town!>:I

Hipida: been a long time, kid. *talks to Vincent* what's his bounty?>:I

Vincent: 150k.>:I

Me (thinking): oh, puh-lease! what kind of logic is this?>:(

Hipida: David, take care of this guy.>:I *Hipida's friends drive away with Vincent driving away as well*

Vincent: *bumbs Azelfland's wrecked LaFerrari with his Arash AF10 in reverse* oh. damn. my bad.:P *drives away for real*

Me: phew. you saved my life.:)

Hipida: don't mention it. now, listen. remember when Feuerrm said I took R8 tyke's Chiron and Regera? well, i created that rumor.:I

Me: why?:I

Hipida: i need someone with true skill to show Vincent who's boss. that's why. you and your team are the real deal. i can tell. i saved Feuerrm the same way i saved you. which is why i work undercover.:)

Me: oh. that makes sense.:I

Hipda: take these blueprints for the Lancer Evolution X. he'll join you in your second new garage. good luck.:)

Me: thanks.^_^

back to the present

Ferrari LaFerrari: after that, i couldn't recall anything from those events. Azelfland, however, got me back. and then reunited me with my sweetheart.^_^

My McLaren P1: but there's a bigger problem. Hanna got kidnapped. we have to save her.>:I

Mercedes-Benz Silver Lightning: i'm afraid it won't be easy. the Vivendi goons have learned since the last time we took them down. luckily, with the other electric cars, i should be able to hack every single jammer, anti-aircraft system AND tracker they have. they won't see us coming.>:)

My Apollo IE: i didn't know you guys could do that.:O

My Audi R8 E-Tron SE: well, having an IQ of 300 has its benefits.:)

the next day, at Vivendi's sixth base's sub-base in Chernobyl

Me: here it is. according to Aris Cheese God, they're going to make experiments on Hanna, Lily and Naomi to make use of their powers for making their own mutants.>:I

Shelby: those bastards!>:(

Knuckles; time to give them the o- *gets hammered* oh no!X_X (Knuckles got owned counter: 14)

Loraine: we need to sneak our way through. Persephone, that means you can't blow up the entrance.>:I

Persephone: aw, man.:(

Flora: luckily, R8 tyke provided us a lot of invisibility potions.^_^

at the entrance to the lab of the base

Persephone: do i get to blow up this entrance?>:I

Loraine: now you can.>:)

Persephone: *blows up the entrance to the lab*

Me: WHAT'S UP, BITCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEES?!>:D

Vivendi goons: OH S**T!O_O

Loraine: GIVE ME BACK MY SISTER!>:(

Vivendi goon 1: well, if it ain't Azelfc**t, his bitches and his friends.>:)

Tails: might as well be speaking Greek, brah.>:P

Vivendi goon 1: ugh. never trust anyone under 30.-_-

Vivendi goon 2: you came for the girls we suppose.:P

Vivendi goon 3: *points his handgun at Hanna* well, if you want your girl back, you won't take a step.>:P

Hanna: not this again!>:(

Me: *gets stressed* no.......................O_O

Hanna: oh, you're gonna get it now.>:P

Me: *mega evolves into Mega Azelf and roars*

Emily: he can mega evolve without the pokemon emeralds? cool!:O

Me: now guess what?>:)

Vivendi goon 1: what?>:I

Me (making my Ludacris impression): you gon' be cryin' like a bitch after i get mah hands on you, boy!>:)

Vivendi goon 3: SHOOT DOWN THIS FOOL!!>:(

Vivendi goons: *shoot Azelfland, but the bullets melt the instant they get close to him*

Vivendi goon 2: we're screwed.O_O

Me: i shall teach you the meaning of fear.>:) *insert the face melting scene from Indiana Jones Raiders of The Lost Ark here*

Vivendi goons: *melt to skeletons and the third goon's head explodes*

Hanna: wow.:O

Me: *turns back to normal* okay, everyone. let's get them out of here.>:I *melts the chains binding the girls*

Hanna: my hero.:3

Me: awwww.:3

the next day, in R8 tyke's garage

Audi R8 tyke: hm? *picks up the phone* hello?:I

Tyler Shax (on the phone): well, if it isn't the loser that beat me and took my Agera R back then.>:I

Audi R8 tyke: what do you want?>:(

Tyler Shax (on the phone): i want a rematch. with my new Regera that i got. i'll send you the location on the map. don't keep me waiting.>:I *hangs up*

meanwhile, in TF2014's garage

Sarah: huh? *picks up the phone* hello?:I

Anais: well, if it isn't the bitch that kidnapped me back then.>:I

Sarah: what do you want from me this time?>:(

Anais: i kidnapped your friends. come see me in the location on the map.>:)

Sarah: YOU BITCH!!>:(

Anais: that's for messing with us. bye.>:) *hangs up*

TF2014: where are you going?:I

Sarah: Lily and Naomi got kidnapped. again.>:I

TF2014: DAMN IT!>:(

Sarah: i'll tell you on the way. get in.>:I

meanwhile, back at Azelfland's garage

Me: hm? *picks up the phone* hello?:I

Vincent: if it isn't my old arch-nemesis. how the heck are you?>:)

Me: you......... son of a bitch!>:(

Vincent: well, i got good news for you. i got credits and tokens for ya. come see me on the location on the map. i'll be waiting.>:) *hangs up*

Hanna: who was that?:I

Me: it was Vincent. i suspect a trap.>:I

Hanna: just be careful, sweetie. okay?:I

Me: i will. no worries.:)

New York, USA

Me: TF2014?! Sarah?! R8 tyke?! what are you guys doing here?!O_O

Audi R8 tyke: Shax wanted a rematch.:I

Sarah: Lily and Naomi got kidnapped.>:I

Me: i got here because Vincent would give me credits and tokens.:I

TF2014: why would he? he's not here.:I

Me: Shax is not here either. and Lily and Naomi are safe in my garage. i can assume only one thing.>:I

Everyone: setup!>:I

Me: the VVS.>:I

Everyone: *gets in their cars, while being followed by Vivendi cars*

Sarah: they were waiting for us the whole time.>:I

Apollo IE: we can handle these guys. divide and conquer. you know the drill.>:I

TF2014's Lamborghini Aventador SV: got it.>:I

R8 tyke's BMW M2 SE: copy that.>:I

Audi R8 tyke: WHOA!! WHOA!! WHAT THE HELL?!O_O

Me: R8 tyke?! what's going on?O_O

Audi R8 tyke: wait. *checks on his M2 SE* okay, i'm good, but that Vivendi chopper got a floodlight on me and i started losing control of my car.>:I

TF2014: are you okay?>:I

Audi R8 tyke: yeah. ducked under an overpass, looks like that stopped it. be careful guys and watch out for the spotlight.>:I

Sarah: guys, whatever happened to R8 tyke was coming from the chopper. stay the hell away from it. *gets caught in the floodlight* DAMN IT!O_O

Me: Sarah?!O_O

Sarah: sorry, i'm okay. made it through a barricade...... close one.O_O

a few seconds later

Air-7: Air-7 to control, i got a bead on one of the suspect vehicles. initiating Skyhammer.>:I

Apollo IE: DAMN IT! the chopper is on me now and it's messing up my systems! i gotta get out of that spotlight!>:I

Audi R8 tyke: get to the roundabout at the construction yard. i'll catch you there.>:I

4 seconds later

Audi R8 tyke: hurry up, Azelf. that chopper is gonna shut you down.>:I

Me: argh!! come on, COME OOOOOOON!!!>:I

Audi R8 tyke: at the construction yard. we got you.>:I

Me: anytime now, guys. *stops in front of the Vivendi chopper* um, GUYS?!O_O

Apollo IE: I'M DOWN! GUYS?!O_O

R8 tyke's BMW M2 SE: HEY, UGLY!! OVER HERE!!>:D

Apollo IE: i'm back online. we're getting out of here. i owe you one, you guys.^_^

Sarah: executive decision: we need to get out of the city. Vivendi isn't playing games anymore.>:I

Me: you're right. we gotta bolt.>:I

R8 tyke's BMW M2 SE: we're heading down the spillway. the chopper won't be crazy enough to follow us.............. will he?:I

Mike458: Air-7, why aren't you following that M2 SE?!>:(

Air-7: no can do. spillway's too narrow for my blades.':I

Mike458: shame. i'll have to call up Vincent. see if he can't get someone ACTUALLY qualified.>:(

Air-7: no, uh........... no, i can handle it, sir.':I

Mike458: that's what i thought!>:(

Apollo IE: MIKE?!O_O

TF2014's Lamborghini Aventador SV: were you really that surprised?:I

Audi R8 tyke: if he's pulling the strings, then get ready for things to get really ugly.>:I

Air-7: killswitching the target vehicle.>:I

R8 tyke's BMW M2: he's on us!! plan?! ANYONE?!O_O

TF2014: there's an overpass at the end of the drain. meet us there.>:I

Audi R8 tyke: you got it, dude.>:I

R8 tyke's BMW M2 SE: i can't take this much longer. i gotta get to TF2014 and Sarah.>:I

Audi R8 tyke: come on, COME ON!!!>:I

Sarah: you're almost there.>:I

Audi R8 tyke: *gets to the overpass* i'm clear. Sarah?!>:I

Sarah: watch and learn, boys! *takes down the pipes and damages the chopper* see ya!>:)

a few seconds later

Sarah: there. should give you some breathing room.>:I

Audi R8 tyke: does hyperventilating count as breathing?O_O

Me: meet you outside the city. and stay safe.>:I

TF2014: we're WAY past safe. it's like the entire goddamn force is out for blood tonight. you'd think we were criminals or something.>:I

Me: um, TF2014?:I

TF2014: tch. i meant REAL criminals, Azelfland.:P

Sarah: *sees the damaged chopper* ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! THE CHOPPER IS BACK?! at least i gave it a good beating!>:(

Audi R8 tyke: don't let it get too-

Sarah: WE KNOW! one good hit will take it out.>:I

15 seconds later

TF2014: damn it! they got Broadway on lockdown too. we'll try to lose them in the alleyways.>:I

Me: at least the chopper can't follow you there.>:I

Sarah: heh. even Matt wouldn't bet on that.:P

Mike458: Air-7, you're out of excuses! YOU WILL follow that Aventador SV!>:(

Air-7: but sir-

Mike458: Vivendi will be watching! if you don't follow that car, you better find a different city to live in!>:(

Sarah: Jesus! this guy's insane!O_O

R8 tyke's BMW M2 SE: let me guess. he followed you in the alleyways.>:I

TF2014's Lamborghini Aventador SV: but he won't get a bead on us.:P

on the beltway

Sarah: we're on the beltway. where are you guys?>:I

Me: heading south.>:I

Audi R8 tyke: same here.>:I

TF2014: new gameplan. let's meet up on the 620. under construction, lots of equipment. let's wreak havoc and block our escape point.>:I

Apollo IE: let's do it.>:I

on the way to the 620

Me: get ready, guys. feels like i got half of the Vivendi forces on me!>:I

Audi R8 tyke: and i got the other half.>:)

Sarah: and we got the chopper. you boys ready for some fun?>:)

Me: R8 tyke?:I

Audi R8 tyke: *knocks down one of the Webers* 'scuse us. coming through. this is more like it. duking it out as a team.>:)

TF2014: if we're going down, we're going down together.:)

Me: no way! we're getting out of here.>:)

Air-7: killswitching target vehicle.>:I

R8 tyke's BMW M2 SE: TF2014, updated plan, please!O_O

TF2014: the tunnel's coming up. it'll break the line of sight with the chopper. then we make a break for Philadelphia and our garages.>:I

Mike458: don't lose them or it's your head!>:(

Air-7: they're not going anywhere. maintaining my bead on the suspect vehicle. *loses visual of TF2014's Aventador SV* control, i've lost the suspect.>:I

Mike458: NO! GET TO THE OTHER SIDE AND BODY BLOCK THEM IF YOU HAVE TO!>:(

TF2014: I'VE HAD IT WITH MIKE AND HIS DAMN CHOPPER!!>:(

inside the 620

Sarah: ALL RIGHT, YOU WANNA PLAY ROUGH?!>:( *knocks down one of the Arashes and makes one of the 9FFs jump straight to the chopper, killing both the 9FF driver and the chopper pilot*

TF2014: Sarah! i can't................... Sarah!!:'D

Sarah: okay, boys. let's get out of here.:)

and that ends the final episode of season 9 of "Asphalt stories". started with a bang and ended in a very epic way. the next season will start more............... casually than last time.

until next time.

-Azelfland.

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