Asphalt Wiki
Asphalt Wiki

man, i feel like my brain is about to explode. but i'm glad the week is over. it's important to read this disclaimer.

i've had a lot going on this week. school, personal life stuff, all those kinds of things. and i was basically busy, okay? like Aris Cheese God, i have school and very little free time to be active. other than that, i know i'm not gonna be able to complete the Hayabusa R&D, because it's basically more of a "collect as many blueprints as you can" R&D than a "go all out while you're still young" R&D, but that's okay. can't win them all, right? it's also important to know that if you cringed with my "car dialogues", i cringe too, but only a little bit, when i create and read those.

now that i'm done with the disclaimer, this is episode 21 of season 3 of "car dialogues". i'll also drop a GTA San Andreas reference in this one, just to make it more enjoyable and less cringey. so, here goes:

 after test 45

Shadow Azelfland: where do you think they're taking us?:I

ThunderWolf: i dunno. i guess lab 4 is the government testing us.:/

Suzuki Hayabusa: something is fishy about them. i can feel it. and their leader talks like a chipmunk.>:I

Me: i agree. but if their leader talks like a chipmunk, that means one thing. TweakRacer!>:I

Hanna: hmmm. i don't know. you might be right, but.............. how will we escape them if it's really TweakRacer in disguise?:I

Me: we'll find a way. after all, this R&D is about collecting as many blueprints as we can. for now, let's focus on test 46.>:I

after attempt 2 of test 46

Alice: all right, MP4/8. time for your last transmission upgrade. *pro tunes the transmission to level 10* all done.:)

My McLaren MP4/8: now i feel a lot faster. thanks, Alice..:)

Alice: you're welcome. oh, and Azelfland, how's the Research and Development holding up to you?:)

Me: well, we're doing fine, but that doesn't mean we're done j-


ThunderWolf: what happened?:/


ThunderWolf: who said this to you?>:I

Flora: the construction workers opposite of the lab!>:(

ThunderWolf: i'm gonna f@#k them up!>:(

Me: hold on, Shadow Azelfland, Thunder and i got this. we need to go teach them some respect, huh?>:I

ThunderWolf: that's right.>:I

Me: yeah. i was thinking of getting us some new land anyway.>:)

at the construction site

TheGoldenThunder: so this is the construction site Flora was talking about.:I

Shadow Azelfland: yes. but the workers seem a bit.............. odd. they look like Panda Bots.>:I

Me: because they are Panda Bots. now i got a plan, so hear me out. now, the Koenigseeg Agera R and i will destroy the Portables. that sould make their Panda Bot foreman come out. if he comes out, we take him out instantly. now, if things get tough, Shadow Azelfland will beat those Panda Bots into submission, so he can buy us time.>:I

TheGoldenThunder: and what if the Panda Bot foreman comes out and then gets back in the potty and hide out of fear?:I

Me: then it's on to plan B. if he gets back in the potty, Thunder, you will have to find a cement truck. My Agera R will push the potty to the hole and then you'll bury him under 10 tons of concrete. got it?>:I

Everyone: got it.>:I

My Koenigsegg Agera R: *destroys one of the six portables* who needs a buldozer when i can destroy those portables like a boss?>:)

Panda Bot 1: hey! she's destroying the portables!>:(

Panda Bot 2: and Azelfland is with that Agera R. LET'S GET 'EM!>:(

Shadow Azelfland: OH NO, YOU DON'T!!>:( *uses his Fire Punch*

Koenigsegg Agera R: okay, things are going as planned! *destroys two more portables* three more to go!>:)

Me: how are you guys holding up?:)

TheGoldenThunder: we're trying, but there's too many of them! can you give us a hand?>:(

Me: well, i'm going in. Agera R, destroy the rest of the portables, while i help my friends. *jumps off, while the Koengisegg Agera R destroys another portable* making that 2 portables left.>:I

Koenigsegg Agera R: got it!>:I *destroys the other 2 portables*

the Panda Bot foreman: *gets out of the potty* what's all that damned clatter? *sees the destroyed portables* holy crap! i didn't see nothing!O_O *gets back in the potty*

TheGoldenThunder: well, looks like their foreman got back to the potty.:I

Me: what about the Panda Bots?:/

Shadow Azelfland: all taken care of.:)

Koenigsegg Agera R: okay. let's push the potty down the hole.>:I *pushes the potty*

the Panda Bot foreman (inside the potty): OH GOD, NO!!O_O

Koenigsegg Agera R: just a little more.>:I *keeps pushing the potty*

the Panda Bot foreman (inside the potty): oh god! argh, i'm gonna barf!O_O *gets in the hole with the potty*

Me: okay, Thunder. time to bury him under 10 tons of concrete.>:)

TheGoldenThunder: here we go.>:I * gets in the cement truck and buries the foreman under 10 tons of concrete*

Me: and that's that. let's go back.:)

back at lab 4

Shadow Azelfland: well, these construction workers were Panda Bots. and now we won't hear from them ever again.:)

Flora: thanks, guys. now we can relax.:3

ThunderWolf: well, that should teach them to never mess with the big dogs of team Azelfland. i'll see you guys later.:)

Me: see ya later. come on, Agera R. we got an Agera R-only race to win.:)

Koenigsegg Agera R: this should be fun.:)

and that's the end of episode 21 of season 3 of "car dialogues". now, if you didn't get the reference, it's basically one of the missions of GTA San Andreas called "deconstruction". and the "Agera R-only race" was a reference to season 8's race where you use the Agera R. also, i cringed a bit during the writing. but hey. that doesn't mean fan fictionists don't cringe with their work. you should know that even if you cringed, it's A-okay, because you'll know i cringed too, but only a little.

until next time.