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This is an Asphalt Stories episode detailing me after I escaped from AsphaltLand (see here for the episode). Watch for the Halo 5 reference at the end. And no, the title is not a reference to Infiniti, the car brand. It is a reference to the UNSC Infinity, the Infinity-class supercarrier.


{at the UNSC Infinity}

Me: “Is this the Infinity?”

Fred-104: “Yes. This supercarrier serves as our main base of operations.”

Me: “Where exactly are we going anyway? An interview?”

Linda-058: “Captain Lasky wants us at the bridge. He wants to interview you.”

Kelly-087 and John-117: (simultaneously) “Let's go then.”

{at the Infinity's bridge}

Thomas Lasky: “Never thought Blue Team would bring a friend of theirs here.” (shakes my hand)

Me: “You're... Captain Lasky?”

Lasky: “Yes.” (Sarah Palmer steps in)

Sarah Palmer: “Alright, Blue Team. Ready for us to chat?”

All of Blue Team: (simultaneously) “Affirmative.”

(Lasky comes towards me and all of us sit down)

Lasky: “You're the guy they call McLaren.”

Me: “You got that right.”

Lasky: “How was your experience over at AsphaltLand?”

Me: “It wasn't the best. In the final two years of me being there, everything took a turn for the worst.”

Lasky: “How?”

Me: “This evil organization called the VVS actually kidnapped me to work for them, but fortunately, I was freed from their grasp and regained control of myself.”

Palmer: “What's the VVS?”

Fred-104: “The Vivendi Squad. They're the ones who claim control over all of AsphaltLand and they tried to kill our new friend, but they failed thanks to our efforts. Now the VVS is trying to eliminate his other friends Audi R8 tyke, Azelfland, and TransportFan2014.”

Palmer: “What vicious monsters.”

Lasky: “Do you have any other memory of what happened to you when the VVS brainwashed you?”

Me: “No. I wanted to forget about it all.”

Lasky: “Are any of your friends from AsphaltLand trying to escape?”

Me: “Yes. TransportFan2014. He's planning to get the hell out of AsphaltLand next year because he's had it with the new cars being blocked by massive paywalls.”

Kelly-087: “That's not surprising when you think about mobile game developers and how they monetize their games.”

Lasky: “How exactly will he escape?”

Me: “He's gonna pick up his girls and escape in an Airbus A330.”

Lasky: “And how exactly did you escape?”

Me: “Blue Team helped evacuate many of my cars from my now-destroyed garage, with multiple Pelicans and Condors being sent in to fly the cars to a safe place. Some of them are here aboard the Infinity. However, the VVS attacked, but I escaped with Fred. We took an abandoned Pagani Zonda Cinque Roadster and then split up since he went into a valley to find Buck. Then a group of VVS goons in Lamborghini Centenarios showed up and tried to force me into submission, but I eliminated them all. Soon enough, Buck and Fred rejoined me and we made a run for Blue Team's Pelican. However, we knew it wasn't going to be easy. VVS goons were after us from all directions, but right before we got in the Pelican, a kunoichi appeared and distracted the goons.”

Lasky: “Care to say if you know her name?”

Me: “Benikage. Japanese for Crimson Shadow. She even summoned a giant white pet toad, whose name is Hitenmaru. Then, another monster came... it was a Grunt in a Goblin! Good thing he didn't fire at any of us, and he decided to attack the VVS goons instead, which angered Vincent, the VVS boss. Me, Fred, and Buck eventually escaped in the Pelican and we went through a slipspace portal in the sky, which then took us out of AsphaltLand for good.”

Lasky: “Interesting how you escaped. And where is Benikage from?”

Fred-104: “She's from the Rumble Roses universe, sir. She helped us for a short time and then left as she had to go deal with Dr. Cutter, also known as Dr. Anesthesia, the one who experiments on the Rumble Roses fighters.”

John-117: “I accompanied my friend, Azelfland, and TF2014 through these last journeys on AsphaltLand.”

Fred-104: “We were given armored exotic cars. A McLaren Senna and several Maserati MC12 FEs.”

Palmer: “What is an FE?”

Fred-104: “Forza Edition. It denotes a special modified variant of the car made exclusively for the Horizon Festival in the UK.” (points to me) “Our friend here hasn't been to Horizon UK lately, since we're on the run.”

Me: “It was that guy Vincent that ordered his goons to destroy my garage and leave no trace behind. As far as I know, every car that had a badge of Lamborghini, McLaren, BMW, Porsche, Ferrari, or Apollo was saved.”

Lasky: “Want to name any cars in particular that were saved that weren't of these particular brands you mentioned?”

(I show Lasky a list of cars from my phone. Lasky scrolls through the list, with each entry having the name of the car and a picture of it)

The list reads:

Alfa Romeo 4C
Alfa Romeo 8C Competizione
Aston Martin One-77
Bugatti Veyron 16.4 Grand Sport Vitesse
BXR Bailey Blade GT1
Cadillac Sixteen Concept
Chevrolet Corvette Grand Sport (C7 Convertible)
Chevrolet Corvette Stingray (C7)
Chevrolet Camaro Z/28 (GEN1)
Chevrolet Impala Sport Sedan (Mark IV)
Falcon F7
Felino cB7
Honda Civic Type R (FK2)
Hot Wheels Twin Mill
Icona Vulcano V12 Hybrid
Jaguar F-Type R
Koenigsegg One:1
Koenigsegg Agera R
Lotus Evora Sport 410
Maserati Alfieri Concept
Maserati MC12
Mercedes-Benz SL 65 AMG Black Series
Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren 722 Edition
Mosler MT900 Super GT
Mosler MT900 GT3
Pagani Huayra BC
Pagani Huayra
Pagani Zonda R
Peugeot Onyx
Sbarro Sparta Concept
Sbarro GT1 Concept
W Motors Fenyr SuperSport
W Motors Lykan HyperSport
Zenvo ST1

Lasky: “Interesting. That's a lot of cars you and Blue Team saved. But not all of them are on Infinity now. Where did some of them go?”

Me: “The Vulcano? Sold to a Sangheili collector. The Cadillac Sixteen was placed in a car museum somewhere in Florida. The Bailey was given back to BXR Motors for refinement of the engine and chassis. The SLR was sold to a Spartan-IV aboard the Infinity after a Warzone Firefight simulation with me, while both of the Moslers were sold to the Horizon Festival to later be converted and rebodied to Mosler MT900S road cars.”

Fred-104: “His Maserati Alfieri later became an Autobot who worked with Bumblebee and Optimus Prime.”

Me: “I could go on and on, but that's all.” (my phone sounds off)

Palmer: “Something wrong? Your phone just went off.”

(I pull out my phone and it's a message from TF2014)

TransportFan2014 (message): “Congratulations for making it to the Infinity, P1 Boy. You're safe now. The VVS can't find the Infinity at all. Message me back on how you and your Halo Squad, er, Blue Team, are doing. TF2014 out.”

Linda-058: “It's TransportFan2014. He knows we're back at Infinity.”

Kelly-087: “Did we close the portal from AsphaltLand as we escaped?”

Me: “Did we?”

John-117: “Yes. The portal closed as we escaped. We all made it in one piece.”

Me: “Where did Buck go?”

Linda-058: “He's back with Veronica Dare.”

Palmer: “You got that right. Buck's with Alpha Nine now. You guys go have your fun. I'll attend to something different now. See you later. Palmer out.” (she leaves)

{at the VVS HQ}

Vincent: “Damn. Not only did he escape, but now we can't even access the universe he's in. The portal has been permanently closed!”

VVS goon 1: “Well, you ruined our day here a few days ago, Vi-”

(three purple spawn gates appear and teleport in a giant 16.6 foot-tall mechanical warrior, armed with a giant sheathed hardlight blade, as well as packs of Promethean Crawlers, Watchers, Soldiers, and Knights)

VVS goon 2: “What the hell is that thing?!”

Vincent: “Whoever the hell you are, tell us who you are!”

Warden Eternal: “I am the Warden Eternal. I stand to uphold the Mantle of Responsibility for the Forerunners.”

Vincent: “What does that mean?!”

Warden: “Your presence on this galaxy is undesirable, as are the other humans here and around the Earth. Your vile acts of terrorizing an entire community and enslaving them shall end here!” (unsheathes his giant hardlight blade, which now becomes dual-sided, then performs a shockwave attack that sends Vincent and his VVS goons flying away)

Azelfland.exe: “UUURGH!! NOOOO!!! IT IS THE WARDEN ETERNAL!!! HE HAS COME FOR-” (he slaps Vincent in the face, and everyone at the VVS HQ starts fighting with each other as the Warden prepares to destroy them)

Warden: “Vacate this shelter now!” (aims with his blade, and soon after, the Prometheans and the Warden start charging at and attacking the VVS, who have already been fighting each other)

{back at the Infinity. Cut to a window, with Earth in the background}

Me: “Looks like I missed one more thing.” (pulls out phone to message TF2014)

Me (text message): “From the intel that some of the Spartan-IVs have sent me regarding what has come to AsphaltLand, there are four new cars: a Porsche Panamera Sport Turismo, a BMW i8 Coupe, a Ferrari F60 America, and a Zeus Twelve Sigma. Are you ready for the worst news yet? Virtually every vehicle is now substantially more expensive with the Pro Kit Card requirements. Even more vehicles are blocking off upgrades with tokens. As far as I know, the i8 and Zeus Twelve Sigma have those. The Mastery rewards and base Credit payouts have been drastically reduced too. The i8's R&D event has removed all the free upgrades too. 54 vehicles even had their ranks changed. Even worse, no more Credits farming from Mastery!”

TransportFan2014 (text message): “Really?! None of this even surprises me at all! It looks like my operations back here at AsphaltLand could come to a close even sooner than we thought. Oh, and I just checked out your garage in Horizon Britain. You got the BMW i8 Coupe, a Ferrari GTC4Lusso, and the BMW i8 Roadster. Nice. Fred sent me a lot of pics, which he grabbed from your laptop because he's friendly enough to borrow your stuff without breaking anything, and that's how I knew you have both i8s. But do you really use them in Horizon though?”

Me (text message): “No, not really. I haven't been to Horizon in almost a month lately.”

TransportFan2014 (text message): “You gotta come back as soon as possible. I've actually received a text message from someone mysterious. He told me he can get you a copy of his Quartz Regalia and its Type-D offroad variant if you want. I know the M12S Warthog CST suits you and your Spartan friends more though.”

Me (text message): “Yep. Gonna go get those. On the other hand... bad news for Horizon. Even more Hoonigan trash coming. Now in the form of Hoonigan and Ken Block race suits.”

TransportFan2014 (text message): “Don't worry. You can ignore those. They aren't worth wearing anyway. I'd rather wear MJOLNIR armor instead. But just try to get yourself the Regalia.”

Me (text message): “Now about that someone mysterious, let me guess. Noctis Lucis Caelum from the Final Fantasy world of Eos?”

TransportFan2014 (text message): “Yes. That's him. Oh, and how's your baby P1 GTR doing?”

Me (text message): “He becomes a bit sorrowful when I'm not near him. He really was glad to escape from AsphaltLand though. Not to worry, he's safe in Fred's hands right now.”

TransportFan2014 (text message): “Good to know. Anyway, got something important to do. My operations at AsphaltLand are coming to a permanent end. Good luck out there. See ya later.”

(58 minutes later, Fred, Linda, and Kelly appear)

Fred-104: “Are you feeling alright?”

Me: “Yeah. What weapons did we send TF2014?”

Fred-104: “We sent them Plasma Repeaters, Railguns, and Heartseeker Incineration Cannons.”

Me: “How'd you get more Heartseekers?”

Fred-104: “I was in a Warzone simulation with a few Spartan-IV friends a few hours ago, and they lended me two Heartseekers.”

Me: “I thought that wasn't possible.”

Fred-104: “A glitch in the simulation caused this to happen. Nobody has been penalized so far for this glitch. Or Infinity could be testing a new feature.”

Me: “Okay. Now can we just stand and admire the Earth?” (holds my keys to the McLaren Senna in my hand sorrowfully)

Fred-104: “Yes. I didn't think we'd see Earth again, but okay. I'll stay here with you.”

Kelly-087: “How are you gonna move on from your AsphaltLand journeys and ordeals?” (I do not respond)

Linda-058: “We're with you.”

Fred-104: “All the way to the end, brother.” (the three Spartan-IIs hug and pat me)


THE END

To be continued...


Note: The last two lines are indeed a reference to the Halo 5 mission "The Breaking".

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